"Hump day," indeed!

So today wasn't awful, but it wasn't awesome, either. This morning (as usual), I was feeling jaded and not so into the whole teaching thing. However, once I got back into "the groove," it was fine (as usual). At 10am, I was supposed to have my second formal eval. of the year by the principal. I was reviewing last night's reading homework with the class, waiting for the principal to come in. And waiting. And waiting. Finally, at almost 10:30, I called the office to see if she was, in fact, coming. I was informed that the principal was meeting with two irate parents, and that an intense argument was ensuing. The principal ultimately rolled in at nearly 11, which was fine; we were rocking a pretty good reading activity.

My observation actually went freakishly well. First, the guidance counselor (who I like more as time goes on) offered to pull out my two biggest "troublemakers," and I gladly took him up on it. It really helped. Second, the activities we were doing ("popcorn" reading, re-reading selections with inflection, discussing vocabulary and meaning, etc.) are ones we do every week, so the kids knew the format. I actually ended up tying a LOT back to the daily learning objectives I have posted on one of the whiteboards. Shocking. I walked around the room (as I usually do during reading) to ensure engagement by each student. The kids were well-behaved because I told them the half-truth that the principal was coming to watch *them*. Did I lie? I like to think not. :) At the end of her time in the classroom, the principal gave my class a brief lecture about how there is to be NO dating of ANY sort and no fighting. Schweet. Bases covered. I debriefed with her at lunch, and she gave me a glowing evaluation. Pretty schweet.

After lunch went pretty quickly. We're starting an explorers unit in Social Studies, to help give the children the background on our country. Of course, it's also in the state standards. I gave the children excerpts from a book that is far better than their U.S. History book the school provides. I tried to do the lesson in whole-group format, but the kids were just too rowdy. They ended up reading the material on their own, then taking a quiz on it. Not my preferred way to delier a lesson, but the usual manner was inefficient. Yucky. The day ended with a brief video on Christopher Columbus (which was OK), a writing assignment with it, then more poetry instruction. The kids will have completed poetry portfolios by the end of next week, which should be pretty cool.

Friday may be a disaster. We're having a "Literacy Parade" to celebrate authors and books. That means that EVERY class from K-8 in the school will be marching outside, in storybook character costumes, and having the local press ooh and ahh. Marvelous. After that, the principal insisted that we do a "readers' theatre" for other classes, so that's a pain to prepare. It sounds like it'll be a looooooooong afternoon, but we shall survive!

OK, time to grade papers, lesson plan a bit, go run errands, then crash out early. Peace!

tuesday!!

briefly, then I'm out:

Today didn't go as quickly as it might have otherwise. This was probably due to the fact that my most troublesome student was back in class today. I think he's a good kid (with really, really crappy parents), but he is obnoxious, loud, and rude. Gotta love it.

Anyway, we got quite a bit done today, too. Not too shabby. Tomorrow is my second "official" observation/evaluation by the principal, and I'm actually not the least bit concerned about it. Of course, the psycho teacher next door completely freaked out about hers, but when all's said and done, our evaluations really don't amount to anything. (Good thing they do 'em, right?) I guess it is good to have another set of eyes in the class, though, to give me helpful tips.

Hmm... I just spoke with two more parents tonight. For as poor and ill-educated as parents generally are around here, they really do care about their children. I think nearly EVERY student in my class has at least one parent who genuinely cares about his/her child's progress and development. I'm astounded. I also happen to have a rather smart class; I had 9 students tested for gifted services, and 8 qualified. That's almost a third of my class! Pretty sweet.

I suppose that's it for now. Time to get out of here & actually be social! Ciao!

Triage

Before I explain today's title, let me *first* say how I knew it was Monday today...

So it was about 6:34am. I usually hit the "snooze" button about 4 or 5 times until I actually get out of bed on school days, as it's soooo hard to leave the warm, comfy goodness of my bed. Ahem. So I had just hit "snooze" again, telling myself, You'll get up on the next one. Seriously. Well, that's not what Monday had in store for me. Lately, both of my cats have been sleeping on the bed with me, and it's so cute. Today wasn't the slightest bit cute. Mouschi, the calmer of the two, was curled up right next to me, sleeping away. Sixer, the rambunctious one, pounced on Mouschi, but ended up clawing me in the face in the process! "Ow!!," I'd exclaimed, feeling blood ooze from my lip. I got up, giving Monday the finger in my head, and checked the damage in the mirror. There it was: a split bottom lip and a little gash on the left cheek. Nice, Sixer, nice. And thus began my Monday.

It's extremely hard coming back to school after a weekend, and today was no exception. I even did a little job hunting this morning before the kids got here. Anyway, I was kinda glum until the day really began. For some reason, the very same students who drive me crazy also keep me sane. We're kind of in our own little world in the classroom- a mini society, as it were- and I am able to immediately forget all my outside problems and concerns.

Anyway, the day went surprisingly well. I threw a lot at them today: faster-than-normal-paced math, more homework (and time to do it), a poetry unit, a quick science lesson, writing, reading, etc. I went at a much quicker clip today, and a lot of the kids seemed to appreciate it. I think today's pace is probably about the norm for veteran teachers, but I can't keep up with it just yet. I did not have to yell once today. Not once! It was awesome. It was also possibly due to the fact that the kid who usually stirs up the whole class was absent today.

In other news, I saw "Bridge to Terabithia" this weekend. Excellent movie, and it was especially interesting when I watched it as a teacher. There were moments when, horrified, I'd think, "My God, those are my kids in this!" Craziness. However, the movie prompted today's journal entry: "Describe a world completely of your own designing. What would happen that can't normally? What would you do? What would everything look like?" and so forth.

Finally, spring break plans are in: it's over to Vegas with some of the other newbies! Should be a blast. Also, my little sister gets here on Saturday, and I'm super-stoked for her & the kids to meet each other! Should be a treat.

Ok, that's all for now. I'm actually *prepared* for this week, so I'm gonna head home, plan a teeeny bit, then relax. Ciao!

P.S. Ha!!! I never explained the title! (It's later, looking back at my post.) Anyway, we had a "grade level" (really: grades 4-6)meeting after school today. As if we're not bogged down with enough stuff, the principal wants us to do all this progress monitoring stuff on top. Long story, lotsa work. Anwyay, she said that it's important to be working "triage" with our kids; that is, help the ones who are "borderline," ignoring for a moment the really "high" and really "low" students. From what she said, we kind of are giving up on our failing students and focusing on the middle- to top-range ones. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it *is* extraordinarily difficult to work with students who choose not to do the work. Any thoughts?

tell me on a sunday, please...

(It's the only title I could think of that had "Sunday" in it. If you don't know the tune, it's an Andrew Lloyd Weber piece.)

Yes, faithful readers, I greet you from my classroom on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I had every intention of coming in here today, getting ALL my work done for the coming week, and being awesomely productive. However, I've now been puttzing around on the computer for half an hour, and I'm meeting a friend for lunch in 30 minutes. Not as productive as I'd hoped. On the upside, though, I did spend 6 hours here yesterday getting stuff done. Turns out there's no better cure for a heartbreak than physical activity (I'm getting my arms in shape, finally) and a bunch of hard work! :)

Also, as my luck would go, I realized that the science lessons I did last week are NOT in the 4th or 5th grade state standards. Grrr... We're doing a human body unit (which the kids really dig), and we covered the skeletal system last month. Now, intertwined with other things, we're doing a unit on the organ systems. We did the respiratory system last week, and I just checked to see what standards I'd covered. NONE. Grrrr... so I'll have to make the body unit a little shorter to make room for whatever else I have to teach.

Anyway, I shall now try to be productive for the next 20 minutes before I leave. Peace!

ah, yes...

...so sometimes my job cheers me up. I walked into school today sick, jaded, and generally in a bad mood. Yucky. I thought, "I reeeeeeeeeeeeally'd rather not be here." However, I remember how dull yesterday was, just sitting around all day, sick. It sucked. I figured that once the day got rollin', I'd be set.

I was right.

This morning, I was flooded with hugs and, "I missed you!!"s and "Where WERE you?"s and "I'm sooo glad you're back!" ... And the kids were happy, too. ;) It's always kind of an ego boost coming back after a sub; I felt like a celebrity. However, I was NOT in the mood to be messed with, so I was a little bit bitchy with the kids. It's so weird, though... they *like* when I get all nasty and take charge. It actually makes the days run much more smoothly. Weirdos.

The other 5th grade teacher was out today, so I had both the 4th and 5th graders with me for math. I actually prefer that, because then I can do things at my own pace, instead of being constrained by the time of the other teacher. My fourth graders got REALLY into math today- it was awesome. We were ordering and comparing fractions and decimals today, so it was kind of a slow start, but once they got into it, MAN, they were yelling enthusiastically about math! Again, one of my "troublemakers" gets so into math. It's really a cool time.

Later, I prepped the class for their cloze spelling test tomorrow... We'll see how it goes. None of us have ever done one before (for real; last week's was a practice). Keep your fingers crossed.

It was actually nice being at school today, because I was on my toes the whole time. It seems (and I think you'll agree, casual reader) that time goes by MUCH faster when you're busy! There's no time to sulk or feel sorry for yourself when you're running in 340 different directions.

Ahem. Science was pretty cool, too. I'm surprised by how much I know about the body and chemistry. We were talking about the respiratory system today, and the kids fired ALL these cool questions my way. (e.g, "Can we live off of carbon dioxide alone?", "What's the difference between oxygen and carbon dioxide?", "What do aveoli do?", "What's the difference between choking and suffocating?") I love when they *care* about stuff. I even kind of branched off into a brief chemistry lesson (explaining how hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon atoms all bond to each other, and what charges the molecules will carry after bonding). The kids were fascinated. Swoon.

We had an impromptu fire drill today (and were already fortunately outside for another program), and the kids were a bit chatty. I came down on them pretty hard, and said that it was a bit "iffy" if we'd have end-of-the-day recess or not. It was all up to the class meeting and how they did in it.

For the class meeting today, I tried something a teacher did with us in middle school: I used a koosh. Whoever had the koosh could talk, and NO one else. On the board, I wrote "Recess" with two columns under it: "Yes" and "No." Every time someone who didn't have the koosh talked, I'd explained, I'd put a tally under the "No" column. Every time someone was able to finish talking uninterrupted, I'd put a mark under "Yes." It worked well, and the kids got really into it.

I think our meetings are actually accomplishing something. It's so amazing what the students pick up from each other and their interactions. When someone expresses a concern with another student, we have a process to go through (in an older August entry). At the end, the person with the concern watches the other person for the week and reports to me if the problem got better or not. So the kids have an amazing ability to recall these events. I frequently hear things like, "At last week's meeting, I had a concern with so-and-so because s/he did ______. So-and-so has gotten better, and the problem's gone!" Three people said this today, which means that something's working, at least.

In the end, we were able to go out to recess. Ah. It was gorgeous out today: high 60s and sunny. I had a lovely chat with some of my girls, and then a student came running up to me, eyes wide. "I saw Mara* and James* kiss on the lips!!!" (*Names have been changed.) "What?!" I'd asked, awed. I walked over to Mara and James, a trail of eager students behind me. "Disperse!" I had commanded them except for my two lovebirds. Apparently (I'm out of the 10-year-old loop), Mara and James have been "boyfriend/girlfriend" all week. I told them that, while they're at school, there is no kissing on the lips. I said they're setting a bad example for the kindergarteners, who will then want to kiss. I must call their parents in a few minutes to discuss all this. Oy. I didn't have *my* first kiss 'til 8th grade!! Mara is in 4th! She had also passed a note today saying, "Did you french kiss?" Egads. Gotta keep these guys in check.

Anyway, all in all it was a decent day. I was stern (and sometimes just no-nonsense) with the kids, but it felt fine. Hopefully tomorrow'll be good, and then I can relax for another few days! :)

Ciao for now. Take care.

sick again

so i've been extremely sick the past few days... NOT enjoyable. even with dayquil, my old friend, it's still a crappy time. on top of the illness (that's been going on for a week and a half now), my beau decided he didn't want a relationship. awesome. our break-up started last wednesday, on valentine's day, and continued through the weekend. additionally, my car died two days ago, so i spent $500 fixing the stupid thing.

if i had had an office job, i probably would've been able to make it today.

if i only had to deal with ONE of the above problems, i probably would've been able to make it today.

however, neither of the above cases hold, so i took (another) sick day. (i was out yesterday for the same reasons, plus i was stuck in another city because of my car.)

i'm really not sure where i'll be 6 months from now. as usual, i'm debating the teaching thing. my principal, who's now on her 4th career, told me that when she was fresh out of college, she was nowhere near ready to teach. she said she needed to do some other things first, to mature, and then she was a classroom teacher for almost 15 years. inspirational. i, however, have NO clue what to do at this point in time. i'm obviously staying with my class for the remainder of the year (just a tad bit over 3 months left in the year). considering all that i've been through this year, i'd say that's progress.

anyway, i don't mean to be a downer, but i thought i'd check in with y'all and let you know why your favorite first-year teacher has been slacking on the writings lately. i hope you're doing well, and that your professional and personal lives are exactly where you want them to be.

hot & cold

So sometimes I really despise this job, and other times I really adore it. Today, I actually like it. Even though I'm quite sick at the moment (nasty cough, fever, cold, etc.), I'm in a relatively good mood. Out of bed a little late this morning, I said, "It's gonna be a good day." And it was!

We started with the Student of the Month (S.O.M.) assembly this morning. As I have both 4th and 5th graders in my class, I like to choose one from each grade for this monthly assembly. I also had a band S.O.M., which was nice. All three of my S.O.M.s' parents showed up, making all of the winners extremely happy. The assembly went well, and my kids were pretty well behaved.

After the assembly, we had a 10-minute review of homework, which was writing 10 sentences (using the words "its," "their," "they're," "too," and so forth). I still have A LOT of work to do with my students, but I suppose they're a little better off than at the beginning of the year. A hard thing for a first-year teacher to understand is that she will NOT be able to make every student perform perfectly on everything. I'm slowly coming to grips with this fact, but it's excruciating.

After the assembly, the class had library and computer, and I was actually productive during this prep time! (I graded, prepped a lot, and got almost everything done for my morning stuff!)

We then had our first-ever cloze (yes, it's spelled correctlly) reading test, where students filled in a story's blanks with words I read. According to a spelling seminar I'd attended on Monday, it's far better to use cloze tests than the traditional word-list-on-Monday, spelling-test-on-Friday format. (This spelling program insists that our usual way of doing spelling is ineffective because it only tests short-term memory, and leaves long-term memory and writing transfer by the wayside. I can't help but agree.) We'll see how this thing works out long-term.

I then had the kids journal again, this time about what kind of job they'd like to do (I left it reaaaaaaaaaaaally open), and why. I'm excited to read their responses. The vast majority of them really like journaling, and I like reading what they write, so I think it's a good thing. We're starting to fine-tune everything, too, via the 6 Traits philosophy. This week, we focused on conventions, and next week we'll probably be focusing on word choice. Score.

We are also working on a class newspaper. The project was kind of thrown out from before, since I'd misplaced many of the students' work. (I recovered it last night, luckily!) This time around, I'm letting each student choose what s/he wants to write about, which has the students more engaged in the project.

Before lunch, we had math, which I still enjoy teaching. Today was a bit like pulling teeth, though, and I got a little frustrated with the class. I just wished they'd work with me, even when we're not doing the most interesting of things, and take some stock in their education. Bleh. At one point, I was so fed-up with the lack of effort/participation that I took the book I was teaching with and smacked it against my forehead in exasperation! :P

Lunch and recess were a welcome break, and I ate lunch with some other teachers in the library. (It's a big hub of activity, by the way.)

I allowed students to do make-up work after lunch, filling in any gaps in the grade book. A lot of them worked really hard, so that was nice. We then had reading buddies with one of the 2nd grade classes (the teacher's a newbie and a friend of mine), so that was some nice academic time for the kids and down time for the teachers. Beautiful!

At the end of the day, we had our weekly class meeting, which went ok. The kids are getting better at listening to each other, and maybe it's because I've been stricter with them on that lately. It's just SO hard for them to stop talking for some reason. They talk over me, over each other, over pretty much anything. It's frustrating and annoying, but they're improving just a bit. Of course, I don't tell them this often, because then they'd begin to slip again.

We did a quick clean-up, then raffle, and that was the day. We spent the last 30 minutes of the day outside, as the class chose to use their EFT (earned free time) with recess today. During EFT, I met with one of my "problem" students (who's actually a "secret favorite" of mine), and had a big talk with him. From the conversation, I learned: he DOES like school (he admitted it!!!); he's interested in math, science, and writing (woo hooo!); he cares about how he does in class (makes things MUCH easier!); he's worried about his future. All of these characteristics make for a good student, I think. The only problem is, I don't think he realizes how awesome he is. He's so used to getting in trouble with other teachers that he now lives up to *that* role. I think, though, that I've won him over, since I see his potential. He's actually been very helpful in the class this week, and I hope that he'll continue that behavior.

Finally, one of my darling little Spanish-speakers came over to me during recess/EFT. "Podemos leer en español?" ("Can we read in Spanish?") "Claro que si," ("Of course!") I'd replied. We read part of a book I had in the classroom, and a flock of interested girls soon formed. A lot of the students LOVE hearing Spanish, and for some reason, they're all geeked out that I can speak, write, and read in the language. So my little Spanish-speaker and I tried to teach our little group a bit of Spanish. It was very enjoyable.

All in all, a good day. Hopefully, next week will be just as good, though I'm not so sure. In a few weeks, my little (21-year-old) sister will be here for 7 days to visit. You BET that I'll be putting her to work in the classroom! :) I'm gonna have to build up her arrival so that the class is extra good when she's here. Ok, that's all for now. Three day weekend, here I come!!

Time to go home...

Oy, what a day. First, my Valentine's Day celebration after school totally bombed. :( Seems my love life is perhaps on its way out. Since yesterday was pretty crappy in the personal life department, I was in a pretty crappy mood at school this morning.

Ahem.

Anyway, the day didn't go as fast as I'd hoped. The kids had an extra recess this morning to make up for their lost P.E. time today (due to the county spelling bee, which our school hosted). I took my class to the bee once in the morning (for almost an hour! Oops.) and once in the afternoon (for about 45 minutes). Am I lazy? Perhaps. Am I exhausted and overwhelmed? Definitely. Thus, I gave us *all* a little break by observing the bee. (I let the students bring books and papers and allowed very quiet whispering, so they were pretty good during the whole thing.)

Sigh. Sorry for the "blah" entry, but that's how I'm feeling. I'm actually going home before dark (!!), but I still need to: grade, plan out my next few units, figure out crap, and get to sleep early. Hopefully tomorrow (T.G.I.F.) will be better. Ciao!

Happy V-Day!! :)

To all of you cynics: Happy day to celebrate love! :)

For our in-school celebration, we had an inservice. Not too shabby, actually. However, I've come to realize something:

This- my first year of teaching- won't (and can't) be perfect. There is SOOO much I want to do, but not nearly enough time. (Also, I don't know *how* to do a lot of stuff I want to do.) At times, I get pretty overwhelmed by all that I'm NOT doing. Then I cut myself some slack and realize that I don't think there's actually enough time in the day to do all that I want to. Then I panic, because I think that maybe, if I stop "slacking" and start working more (read: stay at school MORE than the 10-12 hours I already put in daily), I'll get more done. Who knows?

On a good note, the Southwestern Rotary eClub (they're online only) has offered to donate 150 dictionaries to the kids at our school!! :) Next month, all kids grades 3-5 at our school will receive a free dictionary!! I love people sometimes.

Also, I have a bit of trivia for you: Did you know that teachers don't make very much at all??!? After I figured in all the actual time I put in (not just when I'm teaching), I make about $13/hour? I could *temp* for more than that! Just a thought.

Anyway, I'm off to enjoy this V-day with my very own valentine! (I had the class all make him cards yesterday; they're hilarious!) Have a good one, all!

PTO secretary extraordinaire...

That's me!! I'm *officially* PTO secretary now!!

Briefly:

-came into school today (in a quite yucky mood) and learned that my classroom had been vandalized. ?!?!? Apprarently, at lunch yesterday (when I had a sub), someone came into the room and doused everyone's books and desks with water. Also, a few desks were flipped over and nasty notes were written on the wall. :(

-today was our "non-Valentine's-Day-party," since we were not to have parties (per the principal). The end of the day was ok, with sugar and hearts galore.

Man, I'm so exhausted, my eyes can't even focus on the computer screen. Luckily, we have an in-service tomorrow, so I don't have to worry about policing any kids! :)

Ok, time to type up tonight's PTO meeting minutes and be on my way. Good night!

Reaaaaally quick...

Today was good, overall. Two of the boys I'd ousted from the trip didn't know it until this morning. (One's family doesn't have a phone, and the other's mom didn't tell him!!!) So the sub had 2 angry boys. (The third boy stayed home.)

Field trip: good & interesting. A nice time was had by all! (It actually all went surprisingly well!)

After school: came back to learn that the school had had a REAL lockdown today! According to the bulletin the principal had written, "Our school experienced a 'LOCK DOWN' today at 12:15pm. A suspicous person was seen in the vicinity with what turned out to be a BB Rifle..." etc. Numerous spelling/grammatical errors (aside from the two evident here) irked me, but I'm glad that it wasn't anything too serious. Another newbie talked to me after school and said the lockdown only lasted 10 minutes. Not too terrible.

Anyway, must leave sub notes (I'm going to another conference on Monday... muwahhaha!), and then I'm out! Ciao!

A much-needed break!!!

Today was, for me, a pretty good day. We had the 5th grade field trip, which went probably as well as possible. The kids were loud on the bus (which is to be expected), but the field trip itself was very well organized and interesting. The kids were actually really, really good during the whole thing (even though we were only at the heart center for 2 hours). During the bus rides, I was able to polish off quite a bit of Stephen King's new book, Cell. It was a nice trip.

When we arrived back at school, reality hit. My sub, a woman who I esteem pretty highly, said my kids were awful today. Awful! Excerpts from her note:

"...as I said, Bad Bad day."

"Heads down for 15 min after lunch"

"many in class extreamly [sic] mean to guest student..."

"I could go on, but I'm gonna leave it there"

Yuck!!! Even some of my usual "angels" were cruel and crazy today. One girl who is usually shy and quiet got sent out of the room for 10 minutes! Unbelievable.

Anyway, after said nasty report from the sub, I went on to tutor the 4 students I work with once a week who are extremely low in reading. It went pretty well (and quickly, for once!!), and I was actually energized afterwards. It's SOOOO nice to put in a full day and NOT feel completely drained at the end of it. I feel good right now, despite the awful report from my sub.

Also, I asked the sub to leave me names of perpetrators (sp?). She gave me 3 "problem students" and "to a lesser extent" names. I called the parents of the "problem students," and discussed the matter with them. All the parents backed me, and those 3 will not be joining us tomorrow. Ha. (I did one of the calls en español, thankyouverymuch!)

Anyway, that means tomorrow I have 10 kids, 4 chaperones, and me! That's a 1:2 adult:student ratio!! Unbelievable!! :) The other 4th grade teacher (I call her "Crazy McCrazy Chore") and I were planning to join our classes together for this field trip. However, as it's all fallen apart as a result of her planning it (and not me), I've decided to keep our classes separate. Tomorrow should be awesome on my part... I'm excited! We're going to see two cool movies (an IMAX one and a planetarium one), and there are TONS of hands-on activities and explorations for the kids! I think it'll be a cool day.

Also, as an aside, we have 2 really hard working custodians here at the school who are getting a raw deal. They each labor to their potential every day (even staying over their time unpaid, as I do), and are only working 6.5 hours. This is the most they can work without receiving district-paid benefits. Go figure. I guess there's a huge pool of applicants, too, who would take the benefitless job in a heartbeat, so these people have to work EXTRA hard for a low wage. Sometimes I really abhor capitalism. One of the custodians was telling me tonight that her twin brother had a heart attack last night. They air-vacced him to a neighboring city (we're in the middle of nowhere), and he had some tests run. They then tried to transport him to a nearby city, but his insurance wouldn't cover the doctor's costs. This man works in our little town also with no benefits, but somehow makes *too much* to get on the state-paid healthcare plan. ARG!!! What the heck??? I can't stand it when hardworking people get the raw end of the deal. This must change!! (Not to mention that my own healthcare plan sucks; I have a $2,500 deductible. Awesome.)

Grr... Ok, social commentary aside, I suppose I'm grateful for a lot. It's nice to have good days and feel like I did all I could do as an educator and as a person. That's all for now. Good night!

Le sigh.

Today, a "short" day by definition (the kids got out an hour early), felt EXTREMELY long. My 4th graders got tested this morning for the aforementioned NAEP. Apparently, they were polite and nice with the test proctors, and the principal came in to specifically praise the class. Cool. She had also popped in earlier to informally observe the class/me for about 10 minutes. Fortunately, we were in the middle of a math lesson, and I've found that I really enjoy teaching math. It's just nice to see that the kids are learning something instantly. It's harder to tell with all the other subjects.

Anyway, the morning was ok overall. Not spectacular, but not awful. I do feel my patience wearing thin at times, though... I actually surprised myself (unpleasantly) today. I had said several times, "Real quick, class, eyes on me, voices quiet." (I usually say stuff like this before beginning a new lesson or switching subjects.) About half the class was following directions, so I raised my voice and repeated the directions. Finally, after another TWO MINUTES of about 8 students not listening, I got fed up. I yelled, "Show me you all can follow fricking directions!!!" As soon as it came out of my mouth, I regretted it. The stunned silence of the kids reinforced that this was, in fact, a bad point I'd let myself approach.

I try to be nice! I touch this bell in my room and raise my hand to quiet the class, I ask politely, I redirect negative responses and behaviors, I repeat myself numerous times... and I can't help but think it boils down to disrespect. I think I've really, truly earned about 2/3 of the class's respect. Even one of my "troublemakers" now helps me enforce rules and I think I've won him over. However, I still have that pesky 1/3 of the class who fight me on EVERYTHING and often refuse to follow directions or do their work. Ugh!!! They know there are consequences, they know that I get angry, they know that they're getting in trouble... and they don't care. It's SOOO frustrating.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the point at hand: disrespect. I was watching season two of The Office last night. For those of you who haven't seen/heard about it, it is a "mockumentary" about an office of workers with a ridiculously "off" boss. The boss, despite his good intentions, is completely disrespected by his employees because he is annoying and inappropriate all the time. I wonder if, sometimes, my kids are nice to me just to my face, but really don't respect me behind my back. I dunno.

I also got to thinking about my high school band director, Mr. Sanford. I have a great deal of respect for that man, one, because he is a high school band director, and two, because his bands do extremely well in competitions and in performing. However, during our band practices all through high school, I remember how out of control we high schoolers were. Mr. Sanford, a wonderful person at heart, would almost ALWAYS yell and raise his voice every day, due to the impossible task of attempting to congregate 150 high school students into a decent band. And I got to thinking... *I* have been yelling and raising my voice a lot lately, though I really don't like to. I can't tell if this makes me (and Mr. Sanford) somewhat ineffective and/or inefficient, since we don't seem to have good control over our students. Sigh. What are the alternatives? As I see it right now, it's either yell/raise my voice or have the kids police each other (which I'd tried, but it really frustrates all of us even more). I'm happy to take suggestions.

Hmmm... Anyway, we had a SUCKY after-school meeting today. It was dull and monotonous and an immense waste of an hour. :( Then a thought chilled me: Is that *my* class??! Are my kids acting out because they're bored and perceive their time in my class an immense waste of time? This put me in a bit of a funk.

SO: How to make the class enjoyable AND productive AND respectful???? I want to do it all perfectly, and I don't know how, and everyone has different philosophies, and I'm just kinda having a teacher-crisis at the moment.

To make matters worse, we have 2 field trips the next 2 days. Tomorrow, I voyage with the 5th graders to a heart museum. Hopefully it'll be cool; I have no idea what we'll be doing, since I piggy-backed on the other 5th grade teacher's field trip. Must organize trip before trip occurs... Bleh. AND my 4th grade field trip on Friday, since I left it to the other 4th grade teacher to orchestrate, has fallen apart. It's a HUGE mess, and it's in 2 days, and I have to answer to all these parents now...

Forgive me. I'm just freaking out a little bit, and I want to go home and forget it and relax, but I can't because the trips are the next 2 days, AND I have to do sub plans for them. EPROIU@#IO@U$PO@#U$OIPIOUOIEFU... Ok. I'll be calmer next time I write, hopefully. Thank you for reading. Ciao!

99 Red Balloons...

... or something. This is my 99th post, so the title felt appropriate. Plus we had a party today, so it fits.

Sooo, today was pretty decent. This job is so fricking bipolar, I can't stand it sometimes! I think I'm finally starting to see that some of the kids are getting *something* out of being here. I keep wondering to what extent I'm responsible for the students' growth, maturity, and self-discipline. For now, I'm resolved to doing the best I possibly can, and letting everything else go.

Another issue: patriotism. I have opted to NOT say the Pledge of Allegiance the past 2 weeks. The kids haven't really noticed (since I stand in the back of the room at that time), and I don't really want to make a big deal about it, but I'll let them know what's up if they ask. Why I'm not saying it: I broke it down, line by line, and here are my reactions:

-I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America (I don't.)
-And to the Republic for which it stands (absolutely not)
-One Nation under God (oh, really? Whose God?)
-Indivisible (have you seen our 2000 and 2004 election results???)
-with Liberty and Justice for all (umm... how do you figure??)

So I'd explain it more professionally to my students, but that's that.

Next topic: Journaling. I'm soooo proud of my kids' writing abilities. A lot of them aren't great at conventions (grammar, spelling, etc.), but the IDEAS are there, and they're powerful and great. Some recent excerpts (mistakes included):

[about traveling to any point in history:] "If i could go in a time machine, to any point in time, I would choose the time in October before halloween to stop my dad from going to Jail so my family don't have to go throw what we are now so now I will do anything to save my family I've been want to do anything for them since I was a baby..." (wow.)

[about living in a world where YOU create all the rules:] "If I lived in a world where I made up the rules the only rule would be that there are no rules. Even thow that doesnt make sence thats the only rule. There would be only that rule because I want to have a fun world for once with no rules and everyone would love me because they could do what ever tehy wanted and wouldnt that be awesome."

[about being stuck on a deserted island for 10 years where they could have one food and one drink item with them:] "My drink item will be a water tree, but in winter, when my water tree is sleeping, I will drink sea water."

So we're getting some really amazing things out of these kids. We're working on conventions, but that's really secondary to their ideas. (I can't believe I, the Grammar Queen, am writing that!!)

Anyway, on a positive note, I've been collecting items/money like crazy from neighborhood businesses and individuals; I can't believe it! Our local Habitat for Humanity has offered to donate 6 computer to local families who couldn't otherwise afford them. I made the phone calls to the families tonight to set up arrangements for the pick ups, and one woman was so happy she cried!! She said, "This is just such a blessing!!" It was awesome. It really made the whole effort worthwhile.

Tomorrow's a short day (luckily!!), then we have field trips Thursday & Friday!! :) Should be a mellow week. That's all for now. Peace.

Me vs. February

So it's finally happened... I am officially sick. What started out as a cough and sore throat last night has developed into a smorgasboard (sp?) of symptoms. Yuck. What's worse: this is an "easy" week... here's how:

Tuesday: 2 specials (woo hoo!)
Wednesday: my 4th graders will be gone ALL morning to take the NAEPA test, leaving me with just about 13 students.
Thursday: field trip with the 5th graders (half my class)
Friday: field trip with the 4th graders (half again)

Sooo... it should be simple. However, I feel like complete and utter crap. In fact, I'm going to go home soon (early for me!!!), get some rest, and try to prepare for the rest of the week.

All in all, today was a pretty decent one. The kids are in their second week of journaling, and I'm overall impressed with their writing. I have three or four REALLY talented writers, and I'm constantly amazed by their abilities. I think we're all FINALLY starting to find a balance as a class.

I discussed NCLB with the class, figuring they have the right to know WHY they're taking the stupid AIMS (standardized) tests in April. I also showed them my book of state standards, and we had a really good discussion about schools, money, and academics. I'm really quite proud of them sometimes.

Hmm... What else? I'm still up-and-down on the never-ending roller coaster that is... teaching. I don't know if that'll ever change. However, I do find that I really like the vast majority of the class, and even my "trouble makers" are cool one-on-one. I still don't think I'm covering all my kids need to know, and I don't yet know how to do all that I need to do as a successful teacher. However, I'm very honest and real with my kids, and they know that. I fall behind on a lot of stuff, but I think the kids usually appreciate the honesty and support I try to give them.

I suppose that's it for now. Despite feeling crappy health-wise, I actually feel pretty decent teaching-wise. Peace.

3-day week

So I've been fortunate to have only had 2 days of work this week (and tomorrow for a 3-day week). For some reason, I've been in a funk the past few days. Perhaps it's for some of the following reasons:

-I was informed yesterday that it is apparently illegal in Arizona for schools to participate in "gaming or gambling." So what, you ask? So that makes it difficult for us to have a silent auction/raffle, since these are considered "gaming." Grrrr. Turns out I have to now go through our newly-formed PTO (of which I will soon be the secretary) to hold such an event. Yuck. I did NOT want this to be PTO-sponsored; I wanted it to be solely through the school. Oh, well.

-My kids were little bitches on Monday. Yuck.

-My principal told me today that I've maxed out my professional leave days for the year. Whoops. I wasn't aware we had a quota. I can't complain, though; I've gone to 2 already in 2007, and I'm still going to 3 more. I just won't get approved above and beyond those.

-I've been talking with friends/the beau too much lately about depressing things (e.g., ALL the problems in the world & how much we *can't* do about them).

Anyway, I got to school yesterday and was greeted by the first thing listed above (about the gaming/gambling), and then a whole host of other crap. I felt the tears well up immediately, and realized I wouldn't be a good teacher that day. I asked for a sub (and actually got one!!), so I got to go home at 9:00. It was nice to be away again. (Tuesday I had gone to Phx with another teacher for the day to check out the science museum, where we'll be taking the 4th graders next week and the 5th graders in a month or two.)

Today wasn't too awful. I really felt like (emotional) crap this morning, but the day ended up pretty decent. The kids now have *positive* earned free time this week (last week they owed *me* 15 minutes on Friday!), so that was nice. They were actually pretty respectful and worked well today. I didn't have to yell much, which I always appreciate. We also had a decent class meeting, and they got an extra 10-minute recess this morning which helped us all IMMENSELY. I think I may do that more often (though the principal and super frown on it). Ha.

Tomorrow should be ok, though the nurse is taking ALL my girls for a 15-minute chat in the morning. Turns out two of my 4th grade gals are forcing themselves to throw up nearly every day... Um, BULIMIA in 4th grade? I'm more than a little disturbed. I hear the nurse is good at "putting the fear of God" into elementary school children, so I can't *wait* to hear how the talk goes.

Ok, that's it for now. Time to wrap up here (at school), then eat, sleep, come back, and repeat. Ciao!