Ummm... A *Good* Day??

So today was, um, good overall! The morning was fast: bellwork (I looooove this time of day, and my assistant did, too), reading buddies with the 1st grade (I could actually go use the bathroom, since there were 2 other adults in the room!), then a reading review (that went relatively well), then they had P.E., then we did a quick math/reading review, then lunch.

During lunch, one of my little bilingual darlings came in to talk about multiplication. She's the sweetest thing ever AND a hard worker AND super sweet, but she can't multiply for the life of her. She asked me today, "Ms. Anderson, I don't want to fail, but will I?" I looked at her and said, "No! I can't fail you because you don't yet know something we're doing. That's not fair, is it?" She shook her head, "No." So I went on, "Well, I won't fail you; we'll just work on it together until you get it!" So now I may tutor her (and hopefully 2 or 3 others) to get her/them caught up! Better yet, if I talk to my principal about it, I may even get paid ($20/hr, baby, yeah)!

After lunch was chaotic, as usual. We had a quick review, then class meeting... bleh. I'm really not good at conducting class meetings. The kids, after our "concern" session, seem more stressed than they did initially. However, it is a good time for the kids to call each other on their... well, you know. The "compliment" portion is an upper for everyone. Today, I made sure that every student got a compliment (I had to supply a few rather creative ones). Later, we did a "Jeopardy" math review. I did this type of review before math tests with the 5th graders I student taught, and they loved it. My kids liked it, too, but it was very hectic. I had to keep disqualifying teams every round because of the talking. Eventually they got it, though.

During the last 10 minutes of our "Jeopardy" game, a parent came in to see how her son was doing. Instead of coming back, she watched the last 10 minutes of the day, the worst possible time to see. I was constantly quieting them, taking away earned free time, AND taking down names for warnings and lunch detentions . I used my whole bag of negative discipline tactics, and it was still hectic. Oh, well. I eventually got them out the door quietly, and all was well.

After school, the mothers of 2 different boys came in to talk. We looked over their sons' work and decided that one is doing just fine (and is even a bit "bored" at the moment) and that the other has great potential, but just talks too much!

Also, my assistant and I have decided to move ALL the kids up to 5th grade texts next week for ALL the subjects. I think this will be much better for everyone, and my assistant agrees.

Anwyay, it's now almost 7pm, and I must go for my every-other-nightly run! Peace.

Ah, Tuesday...

Today was INFINITELY better. I didn't cry, and I didn't feel like quitting at the end of the day. (At least, not with the fervor that I did yesterday!)

At 7am on Tuesdays, the principal has mandated first-year teacher meetings. At first I moaned and groaned, but I went to the first one today (arriving 10 minutes late, of course), and it wasn't that bad. It was actually... helpful! We discovered other people (besides the principal) who are there to support us, and the principal even offered to come in and team-teach with us once in a while if we are uncertain of how a certain subject should run. We talked about rules and procedures, and it wasn't so bad. Seems ALL the other teachers are having the same problems I am (being overwhelmed, the class talking too much and being disrespectful, etc.). I'm also not the only one who keeps other jobs in mind! :) One of my newbie peers said to me today, "I can't wait until I marry my boyfriend, have kids, and never have to work again." While I wouldn't quite go to that extreme, at least we get sympathy from each other on the impossibility of a teacher's first year.

At the meeting, we were also told to be almost mean to the kids- to let them know that WE are in charge. While dictatorship isn't exactly my style, I was a lot harsher with the class today. The payoff? None yet. It seems that today helped a bit, though. We'll see in time.

Things of note today:

-One kid fell asleep almost ALL day; I had to wake him about every 3-4 minutes the WHOLE day. He also cried a lot and couldn't focus on his work. I have to call his parents after I write this.

-We're having our first 2 (!!) field trips in October!! :) I haven't told the class yet, because I still have to see if we're doing it by grade level (i.e., half the class going and a sub covering the other half), or if my whole class can go. Logistical nightmare, but I am looking forward to two field trips soon! They're also back-to-back Thursday/Friday, so that'll be nice! We'll see if I even can go on two in one week.

-First fire drill today. Went better than I had anticipated. We had to walk a LOOOONG way to get away from the school, so that ate up most of the kids' time in music. Bummer for me, but it worked out OK.

-Had the students clean up the classroom not once today, but twice. Boo yah. The custodian came in to clean, and I asked her how the room was. "It's better, " she said nonchalantly, and proceeded to talk about how she hates cleaning the cafeteria. Pah! The room looked AWESOME, woman!!

-Stopped in to see the 4th grade teacher next door... I was just trying to clear up field trip stuff, but she ended up telling me a lot more about her life, so I couldn't leave. An anticipated 5-minute visit with her quickly turned into a 45-minute one. The aforementioned custodian also popped in to clean and give her two (thousand) cents. Topics of the conversation: stabbing ex-boyfriends (one wanted to and one did), tattoos (each of them have 3), sex (let's not even GO there; these women are crazy!!), dying husbands (both lost a husband to an untimely death revolving around motorcycles), poisoning significant others (apparently one woman has a plant that is "untraceable" and odorless, colorless, and tasteless). I quickly took my leave, escaping (!) into my own classroom. Where am I??? was all I could think. I packed up my things as quickly as I could, and now I sit here, writing, preparing to go home and do all my grading/planning there. Eeesh!

That's it for today. OH!!!! No, it's not!! I finally got some good news today!! Turns out I will get an aide after all!!! The preschool teacher here right now only teaches it in the afternoon. She is going for her principalship, and needs hours with new teachers. Bada bing, bada boom!! She'll be helping me about EVERY morning for a few MONTHS!!!! It's a godsend!! The prinicpal said she had "reevaluated" my need for an aide, and found one for me! Ha! She also said that when the preschool teacher can no longer come in (if/when her preschool grows to where they need a morning and afternoon session), she'll help find me a volunteer or two to help out. THANK GOD!!!

Anyway, I MUST get home, grade, plan, run, eat, relax, and sleep. Peace!

Monday, Monday

Right now, my sole need with my job is that of survival. I'm merely trying to survive right now, and little else. Are the kids learning? Are the standards being taught? How effective are my teaching strategies? These questions, for the moment, are all secondary to this one: Can I make it through the day? The next day? That's it. Yesterday (Sunday), a friend helped me in the classroom for nearly 6 hours. After just helping me move desks and grade papers, he remarked, "Wow, I will never be an elementary school teacher." Intrigued, I asked, "Why not?" He replied, "It's too tedious! There's too much work." I agreed, adding that the work is never done, either. There's always something else to be done. Anyway...

A run down of today:

6:45am- made an example class project while eating breakfast, ended up with no time to pack a lunch, so I had to buy yet another school lunch

7:45am- at school, turned in request to principal for an aide to help in the classroom. Was promptly told that there isn't enough money (which I don't believe), but that parent volunteers may be available. Ha.

8:15am- picked up the kids outside. Already exhausted and unhappy, but I feigned a cheerful disposition. I think some of them suspected.

8:45am- the kids were hard at work, as they are every morning. The first hour of the day is my favorite time every day, since the kids have an assignment ready (that I post the night before on the board), and they're all working.

9:30am- take the class over to the new 1st grade teacher's class (one of my pseudo-buddies, since we're both newbies). We start our "reading buddies" program, pairing a 1st grader up with one of my students so they can all work on reading and phonics skills. Principal is there to oversee. Chaotic experience; principal tells us it should be faster every morning (this was our first day!!), and offers some suggestions for the future. Leaves.

10:00am- THANK GOD, the kids are in P.E. I get a little time to myself to plan, prepare, relax, and make copies.

10:30am- Social Studies. We worked on the projects they started on Thursday. The sample I made this morning took me 15 minutes to make, final product. In an hour, a lot of the kids still weren't anywhere near done. Despite 6 times explaining the project, several students STILL have no idea what we're doing. Sigh. I recruit helpers to go around explaining to confused students. I tell the class that tomorrow is the last day to finish the projects (some are done already, and those who aren't were off task). There is a collective groan, but I tell them it's more than enough time if they're working.

11:45am- LUNCH!! I get a school lunch and put my feet up in the classroom. Time for e-mail and relaxing. Only a few things need to get done right now.

12:30pm- Math. Did negative numbers, which most of the kids liked. At one point, there was a general feeling of restlessness, so I had everyone get up to attempt a human number line and game of "postive vs. negative war." I made it up on the spot (I'm proud of that), but the kids weren't cooperative enough to participate, so back to their seats they went. About 6 5th graders left for intermediate band, which is every day but Wednesday. Oy. How will I do this now?

1:30pm- Reading. Had to do this with 6 kids missing. When the kids came back to packets on their desks, they freaked out. I explained everything, and it was ok, but my two top students seemed upset and stressed the rest of the day. Chaotic time.

2:45pm- Recess. Because band screws up my schedule a LOT (4th grade band students will be gone from 1:00-1:45 every day, and 5th grade band students from 1:45-2:30 every day), we now have recess at either 2:30 or 2:45. I love recess, because I can relax until there's a conflict (usually about 5 minutes in).

3:00pm- Wrap-up. Time to do kudos (where the kids congratulate each other on stuff done well), announcements, and so on. It took a long time to dismiss the class, and a lot of students seemed upset. Oh, well.

3:30pm- Grade-level meeting. Met with 4th and 5th grade teachers (one from each grade level) to talk about quarter planning. Turns out (no one bothered to tell the newbies) that we have to plan out what each subject will look like each quarter. (What standards we'll cover when) Bleh. Then, they gossipped for a long time, so I took my leave. An overall waste of 45 minutes after school.

4:15pm- Classroom. Got scolded by the custodian. "This is by far the messiest, dirtiest classroom. These kids aren't learning responsibility... or something. There's something they're not getting." Thanks, lady. It took ALL the energy I had to not scream at her.

5:00pm- promised myself I'd be out of here. It's 5:30 now, and I'm about ready to go, so that's better than usual.

My plan of the moment is to try to survive this year. I really want to teach 2 full years so I can get my provisional certificate turned into a full one (good for 6 years). Then, I'm out if things don't drastically improve. We'll see. It just sucks crying every day because you hate your job. It sucks even more that all you want to do is help these kids learn, and a lot of them are defiant and couldn't care less about their own education or well-being. Anyway, you get the gist. Until later.

Yucky, Evil Friday

So today was not a fun Friday... I got my first "paycheck," out of which was taken $210.53... um, I'd like to pay RENT sometime, people. Bleh. The veteran teachers told us that every year, though our salary increases, our paychecks decrease. Go figure. I'd better be a gazillionaire when I retire.

Anyway, the day was hectic. We had our first class meeting today, which went OK, but was mostly the students playing the blame game. I had to set up a 4-step mediation process:

1.) Tell the person what it is you don't like.
2.) Tell the person how his/her actions make you feel.
3.) Offer a suggestion or two for the person to do.
4.) The offender then tells the offended person what s/he will do differently in the future.

It worked to an extent, but it still felt chaotic and unorganized. It also took 45 minutes, which is about how long it took with my cooperating teacher when I student taught.

After lunch, we had to line up and walk back to the classroom FOUR times before the students could do it without talking. Bleh. They then took a vocab and spelling test (which I have yet to grade), and I had to take away 3 papers because of talking. I warned them I'd do it (like 3 times), so I had to follow through.

When the vocab/spelling test was over, we did a reading re-cap, and then had recess and earned free time. During the earned free time, two of my boys put pebbles in straws and pelted the pebbles at an older kid. Ugh. I was going to use that time to grade the tests, but instead, I had to deal with that situation with two other teachers for 15 minutes.

The end of the day was crazy, as usual, with our class drawing. The students are getting better at dismissal, though. I remind them every day that I, not the announcement, dismisses them. Today, only one person made a dash for the door, and everyone else reminded him to get back to his seat. That was helpful.

After school was actually the worst, though. I talked with my fourth grade teacher buddy next door for almost TWO hours. We laughed, we cried, we talked about men... it was pretty much a "Lifetime" movie. I had an incident with her the other day, though. My class was coming in from recess, when they are allowed to get water at the drinking fountain right outside the classroom. This time, usually about 3-4 minutes, is sort of down-time after recess, where the students find their seats and relax a bit. Well, the teacher next door came over and saw the state the class was in. Immediately, she turned off the lights and yelled, "Excuse me, what is going on here?!" I was mortified. She had singlehandedly discredited me in front of my class AND yelled at them for no real reason. When she left, one kid remarked, "Wow, that was scary." I was inclined to agree. Apologetically, I had said to the class, "Well, she misunderstood what we were doing, so don't worry about it. It's OK."

Today, she and I talked about the aforementioned incident. She then told me, "I kept meaning to talk to you this week, but every time I looked at you, it was like you were saying, 'Don't mess with me right now.' You never smile, you don't seem to enjoy your job, and I just thought I should stay out of your hair." This alone brought me to tears. Wow, I'd thought, this woman I don't even know thinks I'm just this miserable ball of blah. Pretty scary thought. I assured her that I wasn't angry with her, and that no, I'm not particularly happy at the moment. Taking everyone's advice into account, I also said, "I know it'll get better with time, that I just need to stick with it right now and do my best." She agreed, but said, "Yeah, but you can't go on like that. You've already lost weight, and I'm worried about you." Man, just what I need: someone else stressing out because of me.

Anyway, once we stopped talking about ME, I felt much better. She told me the stories of her life (which are pretty traumatic), so I realized I could be much worse off. After our heart-to-heart, I felt the panic set in: I had SO much to do (lesson plan, grade, re-arrange the students' desks, etc.). She had also showed me how she does HER lesson plans, and they look nothing like mine. She has daily learning objectives (which I post on my whiteboard but not in my plan book), skills the students will focus on, and specific activities. This would take me HOURS to plan each day!!! I panicked again, telling her that in my lesson plan book, I write out little more than the daily schedule with book page numbers and topics we're covering. This is how my cooperating teacher did it, and it seemed fine. The teacher here, however, disagreed. She said I need to have detailed lesson plans for EVERYTHING I do. Why was I not informed of this during our in-services? I thought to myself, "Forget it. I'll only do it if someone higher up specifically comes in and forces me to."

A bit disheartened, but understanding my colleague much more, I headed back next door to my room. (The teacher went home when I left her room.) I turned the handle, but the door was locked! My car keys, wallet, lesson plans, everything... they were all in the room. I found out (after 30 minutes of searching both buildings of the school) that the custodians had left. I started crying. I'll never get everything done. I'm here enough as it is, and now I'm stuck here with no way home and no way to call anyone. I must confess that I looked in the cafeteria, where I found TONS of food. I took a cereal bar and a bag of Goldfish. If I'm stuck here because of the school, I reasoned, I might as well have some of their food.

Fortunately, there was still one more teacher here, who looked up one of the women in the office who lives practically next door to the school. The office woman was soon here, key in hand, and I was back in my classroom. By that time, it was 6:15pm, and I still had to make 8 positive phone calls home to the students who had earned them during the week. Some parents were delighted, and others couldn't have cared less. Bummer.

It's now after 7pm, and I *still* have grading, planning, and re-arranging to do. I'm planning on coming back Sunday (I must get out of here!!!) and recruiting an unsuspecting friend to help me with the dirty work. :P

This will probably be the longest year of my life.

A Better Day

Today, for some reason, went MUCH better than yesterday. Perhaps it's because I tried to be in the classroom in a better mood... I cried a bit this morning, but I am trying very hard to NOT cry while at school. Though I wasn't happy in the morning, I was calm. The students worked relatively well in the morning, and for most of the afternoon.

After lunch/recess (read: my least favorite time of day up until recently), I've been reading them the Roald Dahl book mentioned earlier. They were REEEEALLY into it today, with almost every student looking at me, enthralled, as I read. It really is an entertaining book. I acted out the nasty grandma and the guilty-boy-who-plays-innocent. They loved it. I stopped after the grandma and a hen had consumed George's marvelous medicine, much to the chagrin of the class. "Just one more chapter!" they'd begged, after I'd already read one more than I had meant to. Oh, the power of reading. :)

I gave the class an extra-long recess as a reward for them (as well as myself- 25 minutes off my feet!!!). During recess, a group of students were playing basketball, and one bounced it too hard. Over the fence the ball went, into a HUGE ditch full of those stickler plant thingees. Two students came running up to me to see if they could go get it, a girl and a boy. I opted to let the girl go, since she behaves MUCH better than the boy does. She, in a long denim skirt, hopped over the fence and slowly descended into the dry ravine. The suspense nearly killed us; could she hear us? Was she OK? I called out to her every 30 seconds, and she said she was fine. Six other students and I waited, glued to the fence, to see what would happen. And then, the unexpected: a rattle from the ravine!! A rattlesnake!! One kid heard it, too, and looked at me, terror in his eyes, "Ms. Anderson, should we tell her there's a rattlesnake down there?!" I replied calmly, "No, but let's tell her to come up NOW. No sense in her freaking out." So the teeny 4th grader emerged quickly, orange ball in hand. She was triumphant!! She tossed the ball over the fence, and scaled over herself: success! I called her the "hero of the day" and told her that she is a trooper!

Dilemma solved, she held her hand up to me. "Four scratches, but I'm OK!" she had exclaimed. We all cheered, and I went back to sit on the bench with another teacher. A few minutes later, my little heroine approached us to ask me for a drink. "That was sure thirsty work! Can I go get some water?" How adorable is that?

The rest of the day went well, as the students came in and read silently while I conferenced about grades with students one-on-one. The end of the day was calm and quiet, and I think I'll end the days like that for a while.

I'm also leaving before 6pm, with the rest of the week fully planned out! Joy. I can go home and do WHATEVER I want for the next 4 hours!! Woo hoo! Off I go, a better day under my belt. (Wow, what a bipolar blog already!)

All Teachers Who Want to Quit, Raise Your Hands.

(I'm raising my hand.)

Right now, I'm angry at our country and our society and our parents and our schools and the way everything is. Teachers are completely unprepared to go into the classroom, parents don't care about their kids, the kids don't care about their successes/failures in school, the administration doesn't care about the teachers... I feel like the teachers (and sometimes principals) are the only ones who really care sometimes.

Every night, I come home, and it's not enough. I still have plans to do, papers to grade, parents to call, and then *maybe* I can squeeze dinner in before bed. I hate this right now. I hate being exhausted and sad and stressed and unprepared, despite the fact that I work about 10-12 hours a day at the moment.

Today was a pretty bad day overall. OK morning, but the kids didn't do well in music or in art or in the halls or in class. I was stressed and angry, and I let it show. Unprofessional, but at least I didn't cry in front of them.

I know, though, that I'm not alone. The other teachers have been very supportive and understanding. My family has been amazing, as have a few really good friends.

I feel like I have an informal mentor teacher next door: the woman who took over for my 4th grade teacher buddy. She's wonderful, and she said her first year teaching, she'd lock herself in the school bathroom or broom closet or classroom every day to cry. She said she threw up almost every morning from stress, and couldn't eat much. It's not that bad for me, but I was thankful to have someone who was completely empathetic.

Also, my mom sent me an issue of Edutopia magazine. This particular issue (February/March 2005) is cleverly titled "No Teacher Left Behind" and is about teacher burnout. Some memorable quotes/facts from the article are:

-"We don't put attorneys just out of law school alone on their first case, yet we put new teachers alone in the classroom for their first year and expect them to shoulder the same responsibilities as veteran teachers" (pp. 40-41).

-"New teachers are expected to assume a full schedule of classes, create their own lesson plans, and develop teaching techniques and classroom management strategies in relative isolation... The result: New teachers must weather a frazzling first year that... [is] a recipe for early burnout" (p. 40).

-"Not a day goes by that I didn't go home and cry." (on a fourth-grade teacher's first year)... "Academically, I was prepared. Socially, professionally, and emotionally, I was not" (p. 41).

-"The amount of time I put into teaching was huge, and I still feel overwhelmed" (a former high school science teacher, p. 42).

It goes on and on: teachers put their all into their work, yet end up drained, stressed out, and jaded. Promised support isn't there, and often teachers (like myself) often feel completely "thrown to the wolves."

Anyway, I had my first Open House tonight. It went quickly, but I felt frazzled at the end. All in all, 11 students and their families showed up. All the 5th grade parents grilled me on how I'm planning to have the 5th graders ready for 6th grade at the end of the year. I had to BS a little (since I'm not exactly sure myself yet), but I did tell them my plan: to completely integrate the 4th and 5th grade curricula so that all the students are getting both 4th and 5th grade material at the same time. I haven't figured out the grading or the grouping yet, but I have to take one thing at a time.

The parents had come and gone in a half an hour, and I still had planning to do afterward. At 8pm, the principal came in with her husband, and they said, "You're still here? Again?" I replied, "Yes, I'm always here." Sheesh... I should've just moved into my classroom and not wasted the money on an apartment. Bleh.

Right now, I'm so focused on the problems of teaching that I can't see any positives. I just want out. I've been looking online for government jobs and the like. Heck, I've even considered moving back with my parents (!!) for a while to get back on my feet. I know I have to finish out the year (and I'm only a week in!!!), but I'm trying to take it one day at a time.

Finally, I just feel alone right now. Though the other teachers are great and we occasionally hang out outside of school, I feel alone. I have no good friends here, and the friends I do have, I don't talk to very much. I'm the only adult in a room of 27 people all day. I come home to 2 cats and still have to lesson plan. My support system right now is, essentially, my family and the teachers at my school.

Bleh. I need to stop writing. Hopefully, things'll look up soon. I MUST make tomorrow a better day, for all of our sakes (yours, mine, and the students').

Oy...

So Monday strikes. Before school started, we were all called into the library for a quick staff meeting. Our principal talked to us a while about my former 4th grade teaching buddy (who left last Thursday). She wanted to "end the gossip mill," but all she seemed to do was add fire to the fuel. She went on about how the guy had signed two contracts at once, was very dishonest, etc. It turns out they're trying to pull his certification now, and that there's some sort of lawsuit. Yuck. Too bad he wasn't a young, attractive gal, and he wouldn't have had that problem.

As far as the students go, the mornings have been SO good since I've started, but in the afternoons, I lose the class. In the mornings, they work hard and they're attentive; in the afternoons, they're off in la-la land and won't be quiet. Arg.

Of note today: I surprised most of the class when I started speaking in Spanish. I was trying to identify the Spanish speakers, so I'd know if I needed to draft a letter home or not for tomorrow night's open house. I asked, in Spanish, "How many of you speak Spanish? Raise your hands." Three hands shot up, and then they were like, "Whoa... did you just speak Spanish?" So I told them that I spoke and wrote Spanish, and that I wanted to know if I needed to write a letter home in Spanish also. Popular census agreed that I did.

Also, I've been reading the kids George’s Marvelous Medicine right after lunch and recess. They didn't seem to care much the first day, but today it started getting good, and there were "oooh"s and "ahhhs" and "eww!"s all during the story. It was music to my ears! :)

I'm a teeny bit nervous about tomorrow night's open house, as I've never conducted the teacher side of an open house (nor the parent side, for that matter). I posted some of their work on the wall (the paint activity we did), so there's at least a sample there. Hopefully it'll be quick.

Anyway, as usual, I've been questioning whether this is for me or not. I suppose I'll give it the year to see how I feel. And of course, every year after this will probably be exponentially easier. Or not. Still thinking of other helpful jobs I could do and still make a living... we'll see.

Finally, I feel like right now I'm just trying to survive. I don't feel like I'm doing much real teaching yet; my lessons feel mediocre at best. We're working mostly out of the texts now (which was what our principal told us to do, but it's kinda dry), so I don't feel like much of a teacher. I did, however, use a globe today to illustrate some interesting geography and science tidbits that the students seemed to like.

That's all for now. Peace to you.

I Heart Fridays!!

Well, I had my first good day today (!!!). Fridays should be good; there's a lot of fun stuff to do on Fridays. Today we also got all of our objectives met! Who would've thunk? We got through: a practice reading/vocab test, math and language review, reading review, a fun writing activity (that I'll discuss below), a decent math lesson (I do believe), earned free time, and our weekly raffle. Though the students were rowdy, I have just rearranged their desks, so hopefully that'll cut down on the talking a bit.

So I'm super psyched about the writing activity we did today! My cooperating teacher from the spring (who was AWESOME) had come up with a fun thing to do for the 6 traits of writing ... She got paint samples from Home Depot (the ones that come about 4-5 colors on a sheet), and she cut them into individual colors/pieces. Each color has an outrageous name (like "Fluid Burgandy" or "Silvery Teardrops"). Anyway, I did this activity again today, and it was great: first, I showed the class a few of the examples. I wrote the names of the colors on the board (like "Midnight Sky"). Then, I told them to use their imaginations- that their job was to be the new namers of the colors. After a few simple ideas (e.g., "Nighttime" or "blue-black"), the ideas really started flowing. Here are some of the awesome names the kids came up with on their own (with the color in parentheses):

-wet sand (dark orange)
-storm cloud (a deep grey)
-eye of the storm (a dark blue-grey color)
-super sadness (a deep blue color)
-brown crust
-green loogey (I love that one!)
-American flag blue
-nightmare (dark blue)
-grizzly bear (dark brown)
-knock-out gas (dark green)
-foggy day (baby blue)
-golf grass
-brick wall
-Sunday knight (deep green)
-charming pink
-black raspberry
-fiery tree (deep brown)
-Neptune sea
-baby blanket blue
-midnight laughs (black)
-rotten pear (yucky yellow-green)
-green uppercut (neon green)

So aren't they awesome?! Some of these names came from students who usually don't participate in class or do their homework. I was astounded when I went through them; they've got some really good ideas there. :) Maybe MY kids should be the one naming paints after all!

Anyway, the day ended rather nicely with an extended recess (the class chose to use the 19 minutes of earned free time from the week for more recess) and a quick spelling game that the students love. All in all, a good day! I'm trying to leave school by 6 tonight, so wish me luck! :)

Dr. D. (our dubious superintendant) told the new staff to take it easy this weekend... we are NOT to do school work at least one day this weekend, so that we can relax. Even the principal approached me yesterday, making sure I wasn't working too hard. Ha! She should've thought of that before she OKed my taking on a combination class my first year! :P It's good to know people care, though.

On a final note for the week, the staff here is really good. Though the administration is a bit shady and questionable, I figure I don't deal with them enough to really worry about it. I figure I'll just do the best I can in the classroom, and the rest should mostly fall into place. That's all for now! I need to get out of here soon!

Some Hilarity, Briefly

Quickly, as my class is currently in P.E.: We started vocab today. I had the kids set up notebooks where they (among other things) chunk each word into smaller parts. (This is usually done by syllable, but chunking can vary. This chunking method helps with spelling and pronounciation.)

Anyway, our first word was "compass." Ha. As I was writing, I said, "OK, we can chunk 'compass' as 'comp-ass' or 'com-pass.'" Whoops. I had actually written "comp-ass" on the board, too. The class was very good about it. Some of the girls gasped, some of the boys laughed, but I didn't lose my cool. One boy suggested I take off the second "s" in the first variety, which I did. There was a collective sigh of relief.

I shall go pick up the class soon, but that made me laugh. Also, we're moving at a snail's pace. I had 4 things I wanted to get done before P.E. (class business, vocab/spelling, reading, and snack), but I only got through most of the first 2. Yikes. They keep telling me I'm moving too fast, but there's so much to cover. I suppose I may have to break things down even more. Egads, it'd be nice to only have to teach one grade! I'm moving us to 5th grade spelling and vocab next week, so the 5th graders are extremely happy. Score.

Hokay, that's all for now!

Day 2: A Bit Worse

So... today's morning went pretty well; I felt comfortable and relatively confident. The students were at work again right at the beginning of the day; they should have that all down by this week, it seems!

Since our lovely school has decided to NOT have library or computers until 2 weeks from now, ALL of us are stuck with 2 days a week where we have NO specials. That 45 minute break helps a lot; we get to use the restroom (!!!), make copies, plan lessons, and RELAX. However, without it, both the students and the teachers get antsy. This afternoon, I was quieting the class every few minutes- it was ridiculous. They lost a lot of their earned free time (which they earn as a class every day), and a lot of names went on the board. I had 2 in for recess today, too, so I didn't get to eat much of my lunch. One of the boys was in because he had squirted antibacterial hand gel into a girl's eyes and mouth. Lucky me. The principal seemed disinterested when I told her and asked her what she will do. Doesn't seem like she'll do anything.

Math was awful; the kids are everywhere ability-wise. We did place values today, which the 5th graders already knew well, but the 4th graders couldn't grasp. Quite frustrating. I had them working in 4th/5th pairs today, but I suppose I'll have to explicitly instruct the 5th graders to help the 4th graders.

At the end of the day, I felt exhausted, disheartened, and disillusioned. I worked in my classroom past 6 (it's 6:30 now, and I'm in the teacher's lounge waiting for copies to finish), and my mom called. I burst into tears when recalling my day to her, but I feel much better, now that I've got an outline for the next two weeks.

Hopefully this'll get easier and more enjoyable, because I'm living and breathing school right now. When I'm not at school, I'm at home either planning school or sleeping. It's quite stressful. I really feel unprepared, even though I have TWO degrees in education. They don't prepare you for this at all.

Anyway, there were some good parts to the day, too...
-one of the custodians told me I was her "favorite teacher" at the school, because I remind her of her daughter and I'm sweet and "mellow." Ha! She doesn't know me at all! :)
-I got complimented by the principal and the students about how I ran my classroom yesterday.
-I got a birthday present from a student.
-Another one of the "newbies" had about as rough a day as I did, and 3 other teachers said that their kids were especially hyper today. Maybe it's the weather?

I think tomorrow'll be better. Hey, only 178 more days to go, right? :0

I (somehow) survived!!

So it's almost 10pm, and I have successfully completed my first REAL day of teaching!!!

It went better than I had hoped. Here are some of the highlights:

-A lot of the parents brought their students in, so I met many families. They all seemed supported and interested in their children.

-I got the class RIGHT to work, no wasted time! (Thank you, Harry K. Wong!!) They worked for a solid half hour before I stopped it to move on. It was beautiful.

-I established procedures for lining up, walking in the halls, and for quieting the class in a matter of seconds. All worked well, and we'll continue to rehearse them all year.

-Everyone, so far, seems relatively involved. I need to keep up the level of participation that I had today, and I'll be set!


Only a few hitches in my day:

-the kids were a WEE bit hyper after lunch, so I had to continuously use the quieting technique (where I press a bell in the room). This was a bit annoying, so I will handle it differently tomorrow.

-as I was dismissing the class, I learned (once almost everyone had left) that I am to walk the class to the bus stop after school. Um, they're 4th and 5th graders- I think they can handle it. Also, I am to pick them up every day before school starts. Seems a bit strange, but I suppose I'll make it work.

-had a few parents express concerns that their children (esp. 5th graders) are in a multi-age room. I had to reassure them that this was unavoidable, that I completely understand where they're coming from, and that I will make sure that their children will be ready for 6th grade at the end of the year. Wowzas.


Also, I had a few bouts of self-doubt again. Can I do it? Do I even want to do it? Should I join the Peace Corps, be a school counselor, or get an office job? I just don't know. This is a LOT of work... we'll find out if I think it's worth it or not.

That's all for now... trying to relax a little before bed!!! Good night!

It All Starts Tomorrow...

So all of our in-services are done... tomorrow is the REAL DEAL. Tomorrow, being a newly 23-year-old, I will also "officially" be Ms. Anderson. I'm pretty nervous and shaky, but I'm also excited and optimistic.

Highlights of today:

-Lunchtime gossip: meth use is HUGE in this area. Go figure. Apparently, people (on the East Coast???) have been buying thousands of cell phones, possibly to make bombs? Airport security is insane, etc. Teachers here, fortunately, seem fairly liberal and open-minded. Makes things easier for sure.

-I lost a few students today, and gained even more. My class total is now at 26 (up from 23), and will surely change even more in the next few weeks. I got two "really good" gals and lost another "troublemaker." Gotta love labels and predetermined expectations, eh?

-My 4th grade teacher buddy is leaving. He gave his two weeks' notice today, so I will soon be without that confidant. Very upsetting, and no one (except the superintendant) wants to see him go. Such a shame. :(

-Talked for a while with the tech guy today, and FINALLY have a computer username and password... e-mail comes tomorrow! He later stopped in for a second just to give me a piece of advice: "You've gotta lay down the law these first few weeks, or else they'll walk all over you. Boundaries can always be expanded, but it's almost impossible to bring them back in." Ha. Am I that transparent? Hm... or maybe he was just trying to be helpful.

-Met another student today. His mother wanted to talk to me about him, so we had a mini-conference about the student. He seems cooperative and nice, but we'll see how he is in a few weeks.

That's pretty much it. I just have to get all of tomorrow's paperwork in order and try to get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow, I suppose, I really become an adult!

Two Days Left!!!

So I need to finish up A LOT of stuff before I begin my first day... (Trust me, the panic has ensued since last week, and it will likely continue until winter break.) Anyway, I just thought I'd (try to!) share a sweet little online card my family sent me... Here it is:




Haha!!! I have sucessfully uploaded a picture from home!! :)

A Fast (Albeit Sleepy) Day, for Once!

Today, ALL DAY, we had DIBELS/AIMSWeb training. Ooooh. For those of you who don't know what this is, it's a method of collecting data about students' reading abilities, then interpreting the data for instruction... it's typically for children in grades K-3. (Why I had to attend is somewhat beyond me.) Anyway, we spent almost SEVEN HOURS in this training that our principal taught. Oh, joy.

On the upside, there is sort of an unofficial "fresh-out-of-college-new-teacher" clique formed. We "inducted" another member today, raising our membership to 4. For lunch, we all went to Subway (my suggestion, since it's Tuna Friday!!!), and we had a good time. Everyone but me really seems to like our principal. I like her ideas for helping the students read, but she seems very set in her ways and kind of stubborn. (I usually butt heads with people like this, since I myself am much the same way.)

The girls did, however, agree with me that the superintendent is a bit flirty. I think he's a bit "off," but only one other gal agreed with me on that point.

The poor newly-hired 4th grade teacher (my bud during orientation stuff and classroom set-up) is having a heck of a time with the administration, as I've mentioned. I feel bad for him... he's been lied to, threatened, and treated in a most unprofessional manner by the admin (coughDR.D.cough), so that sucks. He was talking about leaving within a month, which made me sad; we had a nice little coalition here, and they'll probably replace him with someone stupid. (Probably not, but I liked how we helped each other out.) He warned me to keep my eye out for similar transgressions against other staff members, so I'm on the lookout.

Dr. D. (the superintendent) actually came in during the middle of our training today, for reasons very much unknown. He introduced the new staff to the veterans, and had a big fanfare for everyone except my 4th-grade teacher buddy. The looks those two exchanged... yuck. And I feel bad, but I can't help but wonder: is Dr. D. giving this guy a hard time simply because he's older (4oish) male staff? Dr. D. is awfully friendly with us younger gals, so I wonder if he feels threatened? Maybe not, but he's sure acting childish for what seems like no reason at all. Then again, I suppose every district has its drama. I would've been worried if I hadn't seen any here!

That's about all for now... I'll have my room done today (!!!!), then I'm off to plan out the first week of school, then to the ever-delightful staff potluck dinner. Score.

Next week: a full day of training/inservices, then the show's REALLY on, come Tuesday!!! Eek!

Picture test:

Hmm... Ok, seems I can upload pictures at school!! :) I'll be sure to put my classroom pictures up sometime very soon!! Good news!

(This photo, by the way, is one I took at Ohio State a few years ago at Mirror Lake. Enjoy!)

What a Day!

So... it's 7:34pm (inside joke for my dad there), and I'm STILL at school. By the time I finish this update and make some copies, I'll have been here for over 12 hours. Score. Also, the drama with administration vs. teachers is beginning already. My 4th grade teacher next door is having issues with the superintendant... he (the teacher) asked our principal today if she (the principal) would like him to leave. Bleh. She said no, that she doesn't have a problem with him, but that the superintendant does. Go figure. He said he'll keep me updated.

Briefly, here are some highlights of the day:

-Had the whole day to work in my classroom!!

-FINALLY got the 4th grade set of books, so now I'm set with materials!

-The ever-so-awesome custodians helped me move all my books AND gave me two sets of cubbies. That's right: now the students finally have a place to put all their stuff! :)

-The principal and superintendent came in to tell me that "Timothy" has been removed from my class. Holy crap! He'll be in resource most of the day, and the rest of it, he'll spend in the other 4th grade teacher's room. There is also talk of "Timothy" getting moved to a special ed room all day, which might be best for everyone.

-Met another parent today; so far, they all seem cool and relatively interested in their children's lives... definitely a plus!

-Got my room almost completely set up!!!!! (I swear I'll post pictures on here as soon as I can figure it out!)

Hokay... that's about it for now. I'm getting excited (finally), now that I'm more prepared. Tomorrow, we're in meetings all day... fun, fun. And then, as if that weren't enough, there's then a potluck dinner at the principal's house tomorrow night... just in case we didn't have enough fun spending the WHOLE DAY with all these people! :P It should be cool, though; I'll make a killer salad. Ooooh.

Anyway, I'm out. Much better day than yesterday, AND now I'm excited to meet my class!! :)

The Panic Sets In...

So I'm still at school right now... and quite surprised that the stupid website blocker thingee hasn't blocked this site!

Anyway, I finished my first looong day of inservices. The morning was pretty fun (though everyone else thought it was boring)- just paperwork and introductions, but I enjoyed it. No stress, and I sat at a table with 2 other NAU graduates starting their first year of teaching also. The district fed us breakfast and lunch, which were wonderful. The superintendent is kinda "off" (a mild version of the boss on the TV series "The Office"), but it seems like he really wants to help the schools here out.

After lunch, however, I started becoming extremely discouraged. We were told (by the superintendent, no less!) that we are indeed to "teach to the test." Bleh. That, coupled with the fact that I'll need to teach to TWO tests (4th and 5th grade), I was not happy. We then soon learned that the school day for teachers is longer than I had previously heard. I thought our day was from 7:45am to 3:45pm; we found out, however, that we are to be here from 7:30am to 4:00pm. An extra half hour doesn't sound like a great deal, but I was not happy. Also, on Tuesdays, new staff need to be here at 7am to start a professional development series. Bleh. I felt sick after that for a while. This all really isn't a big deal, but I started feeling discouraged.

Later, the principal told us that we are to use textbook series for subjects and little else. She said if we want to supplement materials (e.g., other books, guides, outside resources, etc.), we have to run them each by her. My heart sunk. Seems like everything is pretty rigid as far as curriculum goes. She told us also that she expects 3rd grade and up to be doing research papers and to be learning chess. Go figure. (Don't get me wrong; these are two great skills to have, but it just sounded kinda arbitrary at this level.)

We were also told that we may NOT have Halloween or Valentine's Day parties, as these are not recognized holidays. However, we can have Christmas (yes, she said "Christmas" and not "holiday") and Easter (not "spring") parties... Where am I? I love Halloween, so I'm definitely gonna do scary stories and all that good stuff. Oh, and I won't be having Christmas or Easter parties; they will be holiday and multiculturally oriented, thankyouverymuch.

I've been working with the 4th grade teacher, who is also new this year (and new to teaching). I guess what happened (from my best guess) is that the 5th grade teacher kept her position from last year, and since the 4th grade teacher and I are both new, I got chosen to do the combo class. Makes sense, but it sucks. Anyway, I don't have all the books I need yet (just 5th grade so far), so I'm starting to panic. I'm also worried about how I'm going to teach content (which the principal and superintendent focused on) for TWO grades. Bleh.

OK, that's kinda boring for you, I'm sure. I did make the fatal mistake today of gossiping. Well, I was more on the listening end, but I still feel bad. Two teachers and an office lady went through my class list with me, pointing out "troublemakers," "high students," and other things that I really shouldn't have found out about before meeting the class. Now I expect this one kid (we'll call him "Timothy") to be a problem already. In fact, after lunch, the superintendent asked to look at my class roster. I handed it to him, and he groaned, saying, "Oh, they gave you Timothy AND this other one? It's gonna be an interesting year." Thanks, Dr. D., I needed that. Now the word around the school is that I have Timothy, so everyone's offering support and words of encouragement. Wish me luck.

After our meeting today, I was completely overwhelmed. I had to: choose a health care plan, name a beneficiary for my life insurance, get on REAL payroll, be told that I have to teach to the test(s), AND panic about my curriculum and students. Oh, and they added 2 more to my class today, and I'll probably have 2 MORE tomorrow. From 23 to 27 in 2 days... joy.

Anyway, after we were "released" to go work on our classrooms, I sat down at the computer (from where I write this wonderful little thing) and I cried. I cried for a solid few minutes, just panicking. Can I do it? Should I just quit now? Why do I have the combo class, AND why is it getting even bigger? How can I manage this classroom? I'm not prepared! I need to be doing more, yet I'm doing a lot every day as it is. What other jobs can I do? Can I work somewhere else? Maybe I'll be a nurse... Yeah, that's easier... etc.

I cried/panicked until my principal came to my classroom. I pulled myself together in under a second, and I don't think she noticed my fragile condition.

Anwyay, I promised myself I'd stay here 'til 5, since we have 4 hours in our classrooms tomorrow morning. I can get a lot done then. For now, I go home, eat, and pore over the set of 5th grade teacher's editions of the texts for each subject. Maybe plan lessons, too.

I hope this gets better, because right now, I want out.

Countdown: 8 Days 'Til Takeoff!!

I'd like to start this one off with a wonderful quote from Ms. Eleanor Roosevelt:

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Looks like I'm about to gain a great deal of strength, courage, and confidence!! :P

In other news, I have gotten my "finalized" class list, so I made little welcome apples for each student that are now displayed outside the classroom. For a not very "cutesty" person, it was quite a feat for me!

Tomorrow, I have a daunting task: to put nametags on all the desks, arrange them in groups of 2 (as I've decided), put all my 500 books on the shelves, and organize the remaining items. Doesn't sound like much, but it will definitely take a few hours.

I've also figured out how to use the picture function, AND I found a cord to connect to my digital camera, so that I may download pictures! Score!!! I'd *like* to start posting the pictures, but the confounded blogger thing won't let me... yet. I'll have to figure it out. However, once I post the "before" and "after" pictures of my room, you will be able to see the AMAZING difference a little bit of time and a LOT of effort make! :)

"BEFORE" PICTURES:
<- This one was taken about a month before school. Notice the STUFF everywhere!! Eek!

(Also, the chairs and desks turned out a little funky on this... hopefully, you get the idea!)











Finally, I have written my first-ever *real* teacher-to-parent letter (I wrote one during student teaching, but that doesn't count). It's pretty cool, and it includes the classroom rules and sanctions/rewards. For your viewing pleasure, here they are:

RULES!

1.) Be prompt (on time):

a. When school starts

b. When lining up

c. For field trips/specials

2.) Be prepared (ready to work):

a. Pencils sharpened (2 always)

b. Supplies ready

c. Attitude: ready to work

3.) Be productive (on-task):

a. Give an honest effort in all your work.

b. Work to your fullest.

c. ASK QUESTIONS!!!!

4.) Be RESPECTFUL and POLITE to ALL.

a. Respect and listen to the ideas of others, even if you disagree.

b. Use appropriate language (NO put-downs or cursing); say “please” and “thank you.”

c. This applies to everyone: students, teachers, custodians, secretaries, adults.

5.) Be in control of yourself.

a. Hands and feet are kept to yourself.

b. Only touch other people’s belongings with permission

SANCTIONS:

1.) Warning: name on board (erased daily), verbal reminder

2.) Stay in for recess to complete rule sheet, conference with teacher (go out for the remainder of recess when done)

3.) Stay in for ALL of recess after completing the rule sheet

4.) Call home- decide a plan with parents

5.) Principal’s office- develop plan with principal

6.) Suspension

**** If anyone is harmed, threatened, or put in danger, the offender will be sent IMMEDIATELY to the office. ****

REWARDS:

1.) Tally placed on behavior chart (3 per day= raffle ticket- see #10 below; 5 per day= call home at end of week; 3 per day all week= free homework pass)

2.) Verbal praise

3.) If whole class earns 3 checks/ :)s per day for a month: PARTY and 15 minutes extra free time on Friday!

4.) Free homework pass if all work is turned in at the end of the week

5.) Earned free time (up to 30 minutes on Friday!)- can be saved or used each week

6.) Extra credit for superior work

7.) Call and/or positive note home

8.) Extra surprises (to be determined throughout the year)

9.) Whole class reward (students choose what they want to earn)

10.) Weekly raffle (tickets earned through good behavior; 2 winners per week!)

So, faithful readers, I leave you scared and enthralled just a week and a day before beginning my teaching career!! I'll probably update a lot until school begins, then sporadically after that. Peace!

The Calm Before the Storm

Hello! As I have not yet begun my first year of teaching, nor my inservices, I figure this ("ground zero," so to speak) is a good place to start.

I suppose I will begin with my interest in teaching, as well as my educational background. I have known intuitively that I've wanted to teach since I was 6 years old; I have documented evidence! With this idea in mind, I constantly volunteered from age 8ish (Girl Scouts) until the present, attempting to gain as much knowledge about people as I possibly could. I graduated high school with honors, and went on to college. After battling where, exactly, I needed to be, I graduated from The Ohio State University (yes, there's a "the" in the front, which cost someone a LOT of $$), magna cum laude and with distinction. There, I studied human development and early education (Pre-K through grade 3). I then returned to Arizona (where I had started college), and soon graduated with distinction with a Master of Education (elementary) degree from Northern Arizona University. Yay. Before graduation, I signed a contract with a teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeny district in Arizona, where my salary isn't exactly what it could be.

Having said all that, I am excited to FINALLY be on my way to achieving a dream nearly 17 years in the making! I will be employed in a low-income district (to remain anonymous so that I may talk about issues more candidly), so I feel my services are definitely needed here!

For the past few weeks, I have been setting up my classroom (still have a ways to go), meeting other teachers/staff, and been trying to read/prepare as much as possible... it's very scary, and the dreams/nightmares have been in the works for a few weeks now.

I did, however, find out a bit about my class... I have 23 students as of right now, as even a mix possible between boys and girls, as well as 4th and 5th graders. Though I had signed the contract in April for a 5th grade position, I have been informed that there are not enough 4th nor 5th graders to form their own classes. Thus, I get stuck with the "leftovers," in a sense, of both grades. Bad move for a principal to do that to a first-year teacher, but I shall prevail.

Aside from this, I shall spend tomorrow and Tuesday in the classroom as much as possible, then our new teacher inservices begin on Wednesday. As luck would have it, the first day of school for the students is on my 23rd birthday (Tuesday, August 15th). Happy birthday to me, eh?

Finally, I am both enthralled and terrified to begin this gigantic step in my life! Of course, I'm filled with doubt, but I also know that I can step up to this awesome challenge. This blog is mostly for myself, so that I have a record of the insanity of the year, but I'm absolutely welcome to any comments/thoughts/questions/concerns/ad nauseum that you may have (even if you're a perfect stranger).

OK!!! Let's get this show on the road!!