Yucky, Evil Friday

So today was not a fun Friday... I got my first "paycheck," out of which was taken $210.53... um, I'd like to pay RENT sometime, people. Bleh. The veteran teachers told us that every year, though our salary increases, our paychecks decrease. Go figure. I'd better be a gazillionaire when I retire.

Anyway, the day was hectic. We had our first class meeting today, which went OK, but was mostly the students playing the blame game. I had to set up a 4-step mediation process:

1.) Tell the person what it is you don't like.
2.) Tell the person how his/her actions make you feel.
3.) Offer a suggestion or two for the person to do.
4.) The offender then tells the offended person what s/he will do differently in the future.

It worked to an extent, but it still felt chaotic and unorganized. It also took 45 minutes, which is about how long it took with my cooperating teacher when I student taught.

After lunch, we had to line up and walk back to the classroom FOUR times before the students could do it without talking. Bleh. They then took a vocab and spelling test (which I have yet to grade), and I had to take away 3 papers because of talking. I warned them I'd do it (like 3 times), so I had to follow through.

When the vocab/spelling test was over, we did a reading re-cap, and then had recess and earned free time. During the earned free time, two of my boys put pebbles in straws and pelted the pebbles at an older kid. Ugh. I was going to use that time to grade the tests, but instead, I had to deal with that situation with two other teachers for 15 minutes.

The end of the day was crazy, as usual, with our class drawing. The students are getting better at dismissal, though. I remind them every day that I, not the announcement, dismisses them. Today, only one person made a dash for the door, and everyone else reminded him to get back to his seat. That was helpful.

After school was actually the worst, though. I talked with my fourth grade teacher buddy next door for almost TWO hours. We laughed, we cried, we talked about men... it was pretty much a "Lifetime" movie. I had an incident with her the other day, though. My class was coming in from recess, when they are allowed to get water at the drinking fountain right outside the classroom. This time, usually about 3-4 minutes, is sort of down-time after recess, where the students find their seats and relax a bit. Well, the teacher next door came over and saw the state the class was in. Immediately, she turned off the lights and yelled, "Excuse me, what is going on here?!" I was mortified. She had singlehandedly discredited me in front of my class AND yelled at them for no real reason. When she left, one kid remarked, "Wow, that was scary." I was inclined to agree. Apologetically, I had said to the class, "Well, she misunderstood what we were doing, so don't worry about it. It's OK."

Today, she and I talked about the aforementioned incident. She then told me, "I kept meaning to talk to you this week, but every time I looked at you, it was like you were saying, 'Don't mess with me right now.' You never smile, you don't seem to enjoy your job, and I just thought I should stay out of your hair." This alone brought me to tears. Wow, I'd thought, this woman I don't even know thinks I'm just this miserable ball of blah. Pretty scary thought. I assured her that I wasn't angry with her, and that no, I'm not particularly happy at the moment. Taking everyone's advice into account, I also said, "I know it'll get better with time, that I just need to stick with it right now and do my best." She agreed, but said, "Yeah, but you can't go on like that. You've already lost weight, and I'm worried about you." Man, just what I need: someone else stressing out because of me.

Anyway, once we stopped talking about ME, I felt much better. She told me the stories of her life (which are pretty traumatic), so I realized I could be much worse off. After our heart-to-heart, I felt the panic set in: I had SO much to do (lesson plan, grade, re-arrange the students' desks, etc.). She had also showed me how she does HER lesson plans, and they look nothing like mine. She has daily learning objectives (which I post on my whiteboard but not in my plan book), skills the students will focus on, and specific activities. This would take me HOURS to plan each day!!! I panicked again, telling her that in my lesson plan book, I write out little more than the daily schedule with book page numbers and topics we're covering. This is how my cooperating teacher did it, and it seemed fine. The teacher here, however, disagreed. She said I need to have detailed lesson plans for EVERYTHING I do. Why was I not informed of this during our in-services? I thought to myself, "Forget it. I'll only do it if someone higher up specifically comes in and forces me to."

A bit disheartened, but understanding my colleague much more, I headed back next door to my room. (The teacher went home when I left her room.) I turned the handle, but the door was locked! My car keys, wallet, lesson plans, everything... they were all in the room. I found out (after 30 minutes of searching both buildings of the school) that the custodians had left. I started crying. I'll never get everything done. I'm here enough as it is, and now I'm stuck here with no way home and no way to call anyone. I must confess that I looked in the cafeteria, where I found TONS of food. I took a cereal bar and a bag of Goldfish. If I'm stuck here because of the school, I reasoned, I might as well have some of their food.

Fortunately, there was still one more teacher here, who looked up one of the women in the office who lives practically next door to the school. The office woman was soon here, key in hand, and I was back in my classroom. By that time, it was 6:15pm, and I still had to make 8 positive phone calls home to the students who had earned them during the week. Some parents were delighted, and others couldn't have cared less. Bummer.

It's now after 7pm, and I *still* have grading, planning, and re-arranging to do. I'm planning on coming back Sunday (I must get out of here!!!) and recruiting an unsuspecting friend to help me with the dirty work. :P

This will probably be the longest year of my life.