My teaching philosophy

... is that it SUCKS right now. The first half of the day, I felt sick. I mean, physically sick. I did NOT want to be here. I didn't want to do my lessons, I cried twice before I even saw my class (usually a no-no in my book), and my teaching mentor stressed me further (inadvertently) by suggesting more things I could be doing right now. AAAAAHHH!!!!

I talked with my principal this morning, who also seems incredibly stressed out. I told her I don't know if I can teach, if I want to teach, and I reassured her that it's not the district. I mean, really, it's not. I keep hearing what a difficult district this is, but that's what I'd wanted: a low-income place where I really felt needed. Here we are, and it sucks. Ugh. I have staff support, I even have a few really good parents, but I just don't like the job right now.

Anyway, the morning was OK once my mentor co-taught with me for an hour. By lunch, I was mostly OK. The afternoon was crappy, but it's over, and I survived the day.

After school, we had a meeting that wasted an hour and a half of my life. We were talking about how to get our 301 money (Proposition 301 is supposed to give teachers/staff extra money, sometimes based on performance). Since I've heard we have to jump through about 8 billion hoops to get the money, I couldn't really have cared less. I just wanted to go home. Now, it's after 6, and I'm STILL here because of that stupid meeting. There was an upside, however: I got to write an ode to my career. Here it is:


O, Teaching, the bane of my existence, how I loathe thee.
Though I'd oft prepared for this career, I now wish I'd been a
money-hungry,
selfish,
uncaring
individual who didn't want to touch children's lives.

To the following, I do give thee my middle finger:
learning objectives, administration, ability grouping, grants,
parents, responsibility, truancy, performance-based standards,
differentiation, 301, certification, goals, expectations, attendance, salary,
criteria, highly-qualified, funding, clasroom management, testing, achievement, meetings,
professional development, curricula, student engagement, endorsements, contracts,
attention span, inclusion, integrating subjects, thematic units, retention,
grades, documentation, behavior, accountability, discipline

I also do flick off the following acronyms: ELL, SEI, IEP, NCLB, AIMS, AYP.

Thank you, education,
for showing me that
being nice and being a good teacher
DON'T mix
(at least not in the first year).

-

Finally, I'll end this little rant on a somewhat amusing note. Last week at the school board (bored) meeting, the 4 new, young elementary teachers (myself included) walked in together. I pictured our entrance like a broadway musical: everyone else was sitting in chairs in rows; we strutted up the aisles as foxy, young dancers: the new teachers! We had a song and choreography and matching sequened costumes and everything! We got up on the large table dedicated to the board, and we did a top-hat-and-cane number before sitting down to wild applause.

Today, at the ever-dry 301 meeting, I had a similar fantasy. However, this time, it was ALL of the teachers, even the veterans. This time, we were chanting, "Money sucks, we're getting screwed over," and we were pounding our fists. It crescendoed into people standing, yelling (in unison and harmonizing, of course) that things need to change. Half the people got on the tables, and the other half stayed on the floor. We then did an intricate series of flips and stomping/clapping routines. It was intense. At the end, we all simply sat in our seats without saying another word. The meeting continued as normal.

Oh, my head. Silly, crazy, stressed-out head. Right now, my goal is to make it to December. I figure I can safely leave the field by then. Anyway, time to make copies and go home.