A Teacher's First Year

Looking back...

2007-07-02T17:53:00.000-06:00

... I have been at my new job nearly a month now, and I am infinitely happier here. However, I can't help but be a bit nostalgic and slightly sad about not teaching anymore. I suppose I can always try again (though I'll have to get re-certified if I teach after July 2008; my provisional gift certificate will expire)...

It's been very interesting for me to re-read this blog... very bittersweet stuff. I'll update later... for now, it's time to leave work! Ciao.

(8.29.07: Editor's note... I re-read this last entry, and it turns out I wrote "my provisional gift certificate..." HA!!! I meant "certification." You can tell where my head was!! Just an FYI.) :)

They're gone...

2007-05-31T13:26:00.000-06:00

... My students have been gone for 45 minutes now, and I feel as if I've just gone through a break-up. I miss the good times horribly (even though there were countless bad ones), and I cried a lot the last 15 minutes before the kids left. One of my "tough" boys even teared up. He's this completely macho Mexican-American kid (I only bring that up because it's such a deeply-embedded part of his identity) who rides bulls and is a super athlete and student... He told me several times, "You're my second favorite teacher ever. Almost first." (This actually means a lot to me, even though he's only had 5 teachers at this point in his life.) He shyly (!!) came up to me at the end of the day (with only 1 or 2 students as witnesses), and said, "I'll miss you." He gave me a hug, too!! When he pulled away, his eyes were all teary. I lost it then, and just then 3 of my girls came in and we all cried and hugged. I will miss most of them horribly. I promised to come back and visit next school year (which I will absolutely do!!!), so that helped a bit.

I also introduced them to Grammar Girl today. I ran across the hallway to the library, donned a cape and headpiece, and exposed a shirt on which I had drawn a large "G" for Grammar Girl. I came back into the classroom, numerous atrocities of modern language (see below) in hand. I, er, Grammar Girl, spazzed out on them, shrieking, "What's wrong with these people?!?! How do they get away with this?! Bad language use is my Kryptonite!! It'll kill me if you don't help me stop it!!" A lot of kids really bought into the whole deal, asking me, "Where's Ms. Anderson?!" ("She was kidnapped by my arch nemesis, Grammar Goblin!") or "How do you know our names if this is your first time in the classroom?!" ("I've been spying on you all year, and I'm very close with Ms. Anderson.")

Anyway, it's time to do inventory and pack up the classroom... I'll write more later. Peace!

Photos

2007-05-31T05:07:00.001-06:00

So I've just uploaded a bunch of photos from the school year... Here are some highlights (assuming Blogger lets me post them all!!) :

Tuzigoot field trip with the class
Student artwork
Student artwork
More artwork!
The classroom yesterday, after the kids left... It's even crazier now!

Our last (full) day...

2007-05-30T16:40:00.000-06:00

... I'm a bit sad. Today was a pretty good day, all things considered. I actually *taught* for the first 2.5 hours of school today. We finished up fractions (dividing mixed numbers), and when the kids got the hang of it, I let them come up, one by one, and work out a problem to the class. It was actually very enjoyable, and it was great seeing the kids confident in their work. We then did a comprehensive language review (a packet of old tests I compiled), which I hope was somewhat helpful. Then, the students cleaned out their desks- I have pictures to be uploaded!- and we started packing up the room. This morning, I had NOTHING packed, and now I'm almost done. Gotta love free child labor! :)

This afternoon, we finished packing up (which was pretty cool, actually), then I assigned our last journaling activity of the year: A reflection of the school year. I asked the students to make a list of positive and negative things they remember. Next, I had them finish the question: "What I remember about this year is..." with 5 or more endings. I then had them write in a notebook for me what they remembered about the year. Some excerpts:

"You are the 2nd best teacher ever and I was very good this year."

"I got to meet you."

"Through all the changes, I will never forget you."

"You helped me improve in anger." (I think this was supposed to be a good one!)

"I rember [sic] the first day [and] the sign language." (I taught them sign language symbols for "water," "bathroom," and showed them how to ask to sharpen a pencil by holding it up silently. This made the year infinitely easier.)

"I got to meet you! and you are a good teacher"

"I will miss you a-lot" (We worked on "a lot" as two unhyphenated words all year!! Grrr..)

"I will always remember you. You are my favorite teacher. Always remember that you give good advise [sic]. You rock!"

"We will miss you. I had fun."

"Meeting you was the best part of the year."

"I will miss you. You were the best teacher I ever had."

"I wish you were the new challenge (6-8) teacher but I still will miss you."

"You teached [sic] me a lot of stuff like math science reading."

"Thanks for teaching me stuff like, science and math and reading."

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I'll miss my little monsters, too. :( I almost cried today, but it didn't really feel like the end yet. Tomorrow I will DEFINITELY cry.

After the reminiscing, we went to our last "Treat" assembly of the year. This is pretty much a raffle where students got tickets for doing good deeds for others all semester. Ten of my kids won prizes! :)

After the assembly, it was recess, then the first half hour of "Lilo & Stitch," then the kids were out the door. Sigh. The room's a mess, but it's almost packed. We have quite a bit of cleaning to do tomorrow before they leave.

I will also actually miss blogging about this unique experience. It's been a nice outlet for my whole teaching career (short-lived as it may be), and I've appreciated knowing that I have an audience cheering me on. :) Thank you, readers, for caring about the issues I've brought forth in this blog. I'll probably do an entry or two more, then that's it!! Finito!! :( Due to this blog-sickness, I have started another one (check my profile if you're interested). Thus, I can keep writing, but that one will be about more random (and sometimes more personal) things aside from my life as a teacher.

For now, I finish LOTS of work in the classroom. Ciao!

Random thoughts...

2007-05-26T02:37:00.000-06:00

...Struck with a bout of pseduo-insomnia, I reflect upon what, exactly, teaching is to me. In college & grad school, we were constantly forced to develop comprehensive teaching philosophies, and now I realize the importance of those assignments: If one does not know *why* one does things, one runs the risk of being ineffective (or worse, destructive).

Today wasn't as hunky dory as yesterday, though we did have some cool moments. I still love whenever the kids are so enthralled with something that there is this rapt silence that envelopes the classroom. Today, as part of a social studies discussion, we talked about sweatshops, child labor, and the like. I told them about the lack of human rights laws in other countries (chiefly those in Asia and Africa), and how we're impacting such issues. I told them that, for example, if their clothes were made in China or Bangladesh or anywhere that is considered a third world county, those other countries have very loose laws about what constitutes fair labor. I described under what conditions many children and adults labor in foreign nations, and the children were appalled. Immediately, they began checking their shirt lables ("Ms. Anderson, what is C-A-M-B-O-D-I-A?"; "Ms. Anderson, does it make us bad people if we buy clothes that were made in China?"), and they were all fascinated by what they discovered: we still rely a great deal on foreign goods. When they learned what is happening around the world (right now!), many asked, "Why do we have so much stuff that's made in China?" I replied simply, "Because it's cheap for us, and we're more interested as a country in buying cheap goods than ones produced fairly."

Though I'm leaving the teaching profession at the end of next week, I'm starting to think more and more that it is but a temporary hiatus from this line of work. I do so love when the students really *care* about issues and topics, and that's what would keep me going as an educator. I have yet to figure out effective classroom management tactics, homework policies, conflict resolution facilitation, and so forth... but I feel that I may be able to *do* this someday and enjoy it.

I still love all the little "perks" that are included with teaching. Today (as I do on many Fridays), I had lunch with my class in the cafeteria. I love seeing them outside the classroom; I'm like a celebrity. Every single student wanted to talk, and they were all so eager to share the minor occurences in their lives. It was certainly flattering, but I was also feeling like it's one of the few times in the day when an adult actually listens to them and cares about what they have to say. An idea I'd had earlier in the year (that I never did) was to have lunch with them, one by one, throughout each semester, just to chat and spend some one-on-one time together that they so rarely get with teachers or parents.

Anyway, I will very sincerely miss the chaos that has been teaching. Friends in other fields constantly remark to me, "Even when your days are bad, at least they're still interesting! I can't say the same for my line of work..."

For now, I sign off and try to feel confident in my decision to leave the school and the teaching field. Peace!

Our last Friday... ever!!!

2007-05-25T16:07:00.000-06:00

So today was my last Friday being a teacher (at least for the time being). SO weird!! We also had our last Monday this week; there's no school next Monday for Memorial Day. Craziness.

Anyway, I'm EXTREMELY exhausted, so I'm going to do a first: I'm going to go home- within the next 5 minutes- and take a nap!! This will be the earliest I've ever left on a Friday, thankyouverymuch.

We had an end-of-the-year party for the last hour of school today (my class, not the whole school), and it was crazy. We had ice cream sundaes outside, and rootbeer floats/dancing inside. It was fun, but soooo loud. However, I did learn a new dance move from the kids. They're so strange.

Sorry, I'll have to write more later; I'm about ready to fall asleep as I type this. Ciao! Enjoy your long weekend, for those of you who have one. :)

Sigh!!!

2007-05-24T16:35:00.000-06:00

So today was...

...a...

...GOOD day!!! Ahh!! I'll never understand this profession! :P The kids were interested in everything today! They did well with the math, we had a math review, we did a capitalization review... we drew & painted with watercolors (and they listened to my technique tips!!), we had a GOOD class meeting... kids were *interested* in the science lesson today (about the human body- they love it!)...

Just a good day overall. Will wonders never cease?! Tomorrow, we have our class party at the end of the day. It's then that I'll present them with the letters I've made them... I'm excited!

For now, I'm off on a pseudo-date with the (only single male teacher in the school) art teacher. Ciao!

(Update: 5.30.07: Here is some of the students' awesome artwork:)

(Hmm... I'd wanted to add more, but ghetto blogger won't let me right now... grrr...)

It's always something...

2007-05-23T07:39:00.000-06:00

... So I got a text message on my phone at 6:43 this morning from another teacher. It read: "There is no school for kids today but teachers need to go. Has anyone called you? There was vandalism on the buses and at the high school."

Turns out that someone (who is anyone's guess at this point) completely vandalized the buses (slashing tires, sealing locks with glue, etc.) and the high school last night. Thus, the buses aren't running, and students got the day off. I called most of my students' families to let them know, and all but 2 had already heard the news by the time I called. Ugh.

I also called all the teachers whose numbers I have. Of course, my lovely 4th grade teacher buddy got mad... But not about the vandalism, about the fact that we have to be at school today! "That's bull----!" she'd exclaimed. "We have snow days we never used. We shouldn't have to be there!" I, on the other hand, was more upset about the problem at hand. It's so frustrating that just a small group of people can ruin things for a large population. There are about 700 students who were affected by this today. Not fair.

We have our own speculations about who the culprit(s) is (are) at this point. The art teacher and I think it may be my crazy ex-roommate, the former tech guy. Maybe he was acting out of rage of being fired after he went to jail? (He's out now, which is not fun for me!!) Perhaps, the 4th grade teacher purported, it is the parent of one of her students. Obviously, no one's sure right now, but hopefully we'll know at some point. However, they still don't know who vandalized my room several months ago (remember that?). My room had been badly vandalized one day when I had a sub.

Come on, people. There are like 4 days of school left. 3 1/2, actually, but who's counting? Did they *really* have to do this right now? In another district (Scottsdale, a suburb of Phoenix), I heard that last week, all the windshields of the buses in the district were smashed. That was about 100 buses- big bucks and a LOT of work. What the heck? I mean, really.

Anyway, I need to head to school for a staff meeting, and then have a whole workday. I'm actually glad to have the time to get stuff done, even though the circumstances kind of suck. Hope you all have a better day!

Just a few days left...

2007-05-22T14:43:00.000-06:00

... and it's not horrible! :) Right now, I have my last-ever 2-special day... :( Next week, I don't think we have specials at all, and I think I'll survive the whole day and a half.

I'm sort of bombarding the kids with work right now, especially math. I'm trying to squeeze as much into their little brains as I can before the year is up. I don't know how they'll do next year or in their lives, but I'm hoping my influence was a positive one.

We have our awards night this evening, which should be interesting. It'll be all the kids who've made improvements throughout the year and/or who have done outstanding work. Should be a good group there. Plus, beforehand, I'll be going to dinner with the other 4th and 5th grade teachers, so that should be enjoyable (or interesting at the very least).

I'm getting very nostalgic and almost sad that I'm leaving. I start my new job in less than 2 weeks now, which makes me happy, but I can't shake my feelings of guilt for leaving the kids here high and dry. I do believe I'll still participate in the PTO next year, and continue helping with the playground project. I want to stay involved with the school, while at the same time not actually teaching. We'll see how it goes.

That's all for now; time to be productive these last 15 minutes before I get my class. Ciao!

a success??

2007-05-20T02:11:00.000-06:00

So we had our silent auction/raffle/bake sale thingee today. We raised over $2,000, but I feel like it could've been much more. People were cheap on the silent auction bidding!! Almost nothing went for face value, and a lot of teachers ended up bidding the highest on many items. I myself was the high bidder on 5 things (a quilt, another teacher's awesome painting, a 3-book set, a gift basket, and an autographed book by a local author). The kids & community members seemed to have a good time, though. I had 14 of my students volunteer to help during the day, which was awesome! They actually did a really good job helping out. A lot of them worked the entire day. I was impressed by their work ethic! :) I also had a friend come out to help (thanks, Mr. Fitz!!), whose efforts were invaluable.

To celebrate afterwards, said friend and I got dinner and saw "Shrek the Third." That movie was hysterical!!! It was excellent, and it now comes highly recommended from yours truly.

I'm exhausted, and I know I'm about to get the best night of sleep in my life. However, I wanted to update to let the free world know that our event was a moderate success. It's definitely a start. I told the principal that I'll be back whenever I can next year to help out. I still plan to be involved in the PTO (even if I'm not the secretary) and I would like to see this playground project through. I want to be around the kids & community, but I don't want to be in the classroom for the time being. I think I'll end up trying teaching again in a few years, but not at the moment.

Also, I can't help but feel a bit sad at the moment. Next week is our last full week with the kids. The following week, we have Monday off for Memorial Day, then Tuesday, and then a half day on Wednesday and that's it! My first year of teaching will have come to a close. It's a very strange feeling. I'll miss many things, but I have to believe that I'm moving on to better things. We'll see!

Anyway, faithful readers, I'm about to fall asleep. Have a great night! :)

We're gettin' there...

2007-05-16T17:05:00.000-06:00

... to the end of the year, that is!! :) Only 8 more days left, and the students' last day is an 11:30 dismissal!! :) Today was decent... I think I had some good lesson plans (props to me for still trying to teach standards with just over a week left of school!), though I did give the kids a 40-minute recess this morning. Whoops. :P

The high school came to our school today to present their version of "Romeo and Juliet" to the 4th-8th graders... Eesh. It was nearly impossible to understand the actors, between their poor accents, the olde English, and the lack of good microphones. A few kids broke character several times, laughing or apologizing. I was horrified. My class wasn't crazy about the play, but I do give them credit for being a pretty decent audience. To make up for the hour and a half they had to sit there, I gave them their super-long recess. I didn't feel that bad at the end of the day, though, because they didn't have an afternoon recess.

Anyway, that's it for now. MUCH to do to prep for silent auction/raffle. Plus, our class's mini raffle & auction is tomorrow, for which I have to prep. At least the week's going fast!! Peace out.

Man, I feel like a woman!

2007-05-15T14:42:00.000-06:00

(My kids are in art right now, which is sooooo nice!)

So today, I've had quite the interesting experiences revolving around females. Aside from being "that time of the month" (Too much info? Sorry!), I am just kind of taken aback by some girly stuff.

At lunch today, several vets were sharing their former pregnancy experiences. I was the only one in the teachers' lounge who had not had a child, so I was soaking in everything I could. I heard about involuntary lactating (like in supermarkets when other people's children cried and other inopportune times), water-breaking stories, loss of bladder control after delivery, and so forth.

Later, just before art, I had 4 girls (the ones from the "gang" incidents of last week's field trip) being catty again. Drama, drama, drama! I'm not so good at mediating little-people fights, so I eventually gave them a solution: they may not talk to each other for the rest of the day, problem solved, case closed.

Arg- I must go pick up my class in a few minutes. More later! Peace.

Summer has (almost) sprung!

2007-05-11T17:45:00.000-06:00

So apparently Arizona forgot spring and went straight from winter to summer! It's HOT out now! (It's over 100 now in Phoenix, and in the mid-90s in my little area; this is quite warm for a Clevelander in May!)

We took our kids today to Tuzigoot National Monument. It was beautiful, rich in history, and actually of vague interest to the students. (This is a good thing; at least they said the trip was cool.) Though it was hot out (yay for 32 whiny, dehydrated children!), it was still a nice visit to some ancient Indian ruins. Perhaps I shall put pictures of it on here sometime soon!

The trip (and the day) went very quickly. My class had 2 chaperones plus me for 14 kids, which was nice. We had a total of 32 children and 7 adults; not a bad ratio! A nice, older ranger guided us around for 45 minutes, and the kids seemed to enjoy a male leading the gang for once. (I'm not surprised; they pay special attention to male speakers, probably because they aren't that exposed to them.) After our tour, we went on a beautiful hike (though my kids were getting a bit feisty), then checked out the museum/gift shop. The kids actually took a great deal of interest in the museum; I was excited! It's always so neat seeing them geeked out about historical things. :) After our visit to Tuzigoot, we found a nearby park and enjoyed a long, leisurely picnic lunch. Fortunately, there was a playground at the park, so we let the kids play for about an hour (!) before we headed back.

As an interesting aside, I think I'm starting to understand how gangs are formed. Four of my 5th grade girls (all blondies; go figure) have had this constant drama amongst themselves for over a year. They break off into twos, and the mix changes from month to month. This month, our girls teamed up with girls from the other class (oh, joy). Two sides, equally large and annoying, were formed. One group even claimed "territory" at the park, and made hissing noises and spat at those who walked on "their turf." Wow. Eventually, one group was on one side of the park (where the water fountain and bathroom were) and the other group was on the other side. The group away from the bathrooms had to have "escorts" take them into "enemy territory." Unbelievable!! I even had to walk a few girls to the bathroom and drinking fountain so they didn't get harrassed. SO annoying, but the societal implications are pretty frightening. These girls exhibited genuine anger towards each other, all screaming at each other about who did what. I was actually a bit taken aback by the entire ordeal. When we got on the bus, the two distinct groups started out separated, but miraculously, when we arrived back at school, the majority of the girls were getting along.

When we arrived back at the school (with 30 minutes left in the day), I called the front office to see if we could just let the kids stay out on the playground and burn off their excess energy. The secretary had no problem with it, but referred us to our "acting" principal (as the regular principal was out of town on business today). The ensuing conversation went roughly as follows:

Me: "Hello, it's Beth! We've just arrived back from our field trip, and were wondering if we could just stay out on the playground, since the kids are so riled up."

Acting Principal: "No, that's against school policy." (As of last week, our principal decided that there is to be NO recess after 2:30pm, for reasons still unbeknownst to me.)

Me: "Well, it'll just be a waste of time if we take them back to the classrooms."

AP: "You are to take them back and we'll dismiss them as normal."

Me: "But it would make a lot more sense to take them outside. Can't we just do that?"

AP: "No. Those are the rules."

Me: "Well, I don't understand the reasoning why. Why not?"

AP: [Hesitates, then, annoyed:] "Because I said so."

Me: "Can we at least take them to the gym?"

AP: "No, we will put them back in the classrooms and do a normal dismissal."

Me: "I don't understand why. That'd be a total nightmare."

AP: "Then don't let it be a nightmare."

Me: "Fine." [Hangs up.]

I was not a happy camper. "Because I said so"?! What am I, five? I NEVER, EVER give that as an excuse to anyone, not even children. I despise the phrase, "Because I said so." People (including children) have a right to question what is asked of them if it doesn't seem to make sense. I've made it a point to explain to my students why they do the things I have them do. If they ask me why, I am fully prepared to offer them a rational, logical reason for whatever it is. Grrr.

Anyway, I had my class come back to the room, where we played quite whole-class games until the buses were called. Not a huge deal, but I was very disappointed in the way the acting principal handled the situation. It just felt inherently wrong, especially since there was no justification for the denial. :P

On a quasi-related note, yesterday sucked. Completely and totally. Awfully. Horribly. I wanted to just walk out of the room and let the kids have at each other. The last hour and a half of the day was mayhem. We were trying to do some reading for science, but the kids just would NOT be quiet!! Moreover, they were rude and disrespectful to me and each other. I'd had enough, so I wrote a LOOONG 10-question writing assignment on the board and informed them that they had to do it before they could leave for the day. School gets out at about 3:30 (because of our #**#@@#$#@$ing new bus system), so the kids had over an hour and a half to complete the assignment. The ones who worked diligently and quietly finished in about 45 minutes. I felt 1.5 hours was more than enough time to do what I'd asked.

Not so! I had four kids in tears, two who initially refused to do the assignment, everyone complaining, etc. I was just fed up with everything. They then asked (one by one) to get drinks or go to the bathroom. My response to each and every request was a firm, "No." I finally informed the class, "I will deny every request for bathroom or drinks until your assignment is in my hand." People flipped out. Everyone panicked, and then swore they were going to pee their pants and then have their parents sue me. Such little complainers!! One kid (two, actually) shut down entirely for 30 minutes. I told them both that they were just wasting their *own* time at that point.

Some children became defiant. "I'm not going to do this, and you can't keep me after school." My response? A not-so-professional, "Oh, yes I can, and I will. Ever hear of 'after-schoool detention?' Well, you'll be there until your work is done." Yuck. I had one of my shutter-downers draw a picture of himself hanging (like in "hangman") with an arrow pointing to the stick figure that said, "Me." Underneath, he had written "Suaecide." He's already seeing the counselor; I suppose I need to talk to his parents at this point as well. Sigh.

In the end, I actually kept two students after school until their work was done. They both cried at first, especially when I talked to their parents, but they eventually finished up the assignment.

I am just shocked at how mal-adjusted these kids are. It was a writing assignment, not capital punishment! They acted as if their lives were over (the whole class, not just the ones who had to stay), and that I was totally out of line. They complained, they whined, they cried. Finally, I stood up and lectured.

"Listen," I'd said, calmly, "what I'm asking here is not a big deal. I'm asking you to read the science book that we couldn't read together and answer the questions we couldn't discuss together. In the real world, you will be asked to do a LOT more. If you think a writing assignment is bad, just wait. This is nothing! If you can't just suck it up and deal with it, you're in for a long and hard life. You need to show me and each other that you can step up to challenges and deal with them maturely. Otherwise, this world is going to eat you alive."

I know, I can be pretty inspirational sometimes. I also, in my frustration, let it slip that I'm not coming back next year. A few students smiled; the rest sat with their mouths agape: pretty much the reaction I'd expected.

For now, I prepare for the coming week, then enjoy a mini weekend vacation!! :) I have recess duty from 7:45-8:15am next week, so I'll have no morning prep time. It all must get done now!!

Take care.

A bittersweet evening...

2007-05-08T21:01:00.000-06:00

So I just got back from my kids' concert a little while ago. 14 of my students are in one of the two elementary school bands; how could I *not* go? When I arrived (at 6:34pm- oops!), I was swarmed by excited, nervous students. I saw many parents I knew. I felt like this is *my* community. I easily knew half the people present, and the concert had a really good turnout. Sigh.

During the students' performances, I avidly took photos and videos (and filled up my memory card!). I cheered like a nut at the conclusion of each band's stint. Students sat next to me for much of the concert (as the high school band performed as well, so there was some "down-time" for my kids)... I loved it. I almost cried, realizing how much I'll actually miss my little monsters.

The affection I felt tonight made me think I may try this whole teaching gig a bit later on... when I'm more mature, older, wiser, etc. It's quite an experience forming a close-knit community and really feeling like a part of it. After the concert, I met with one parent to briefly discuss issues with the Board of Education, another to see the family's new baby, another to converse briefly in Spanish... it's really cool knowing so much about so many people. I will miss that a great deal.

Anyway, time to waste a few minutes eating & playing a game, then I'm off to try and be productive before bedtime. Ciao again!

I may actually survive the year?!

2007-05-08T18:01:00.000-06:00

Real quick, because my kids have a band concert in half an hour... So I'm SUPER busy right now: planning a last-minute field trip for THIS Friday (it's actually coming together remarkably well!); planning fundraiser for next weekend (hectic, and everyone's panicking but me); keeping up with grading; starting to pack up the classroom; finishing up class projects; maintaining some sort of personal life; trying to wrap up all that I need to do at school while still preparing for my new job next month, and so on and so forth.

In a nutshell: I'm busy right now (extremely so), but it feels good. Idle time is not good for me at this point, so I'll go stay busy until the end of the year!! (Oh, 14 more school days left until freedom!!! Muwahaha!)

Take care, all! Ciao.

This should be the easy part of the year!

2007-05-07T20:26:00.000-06:00

Arg... 16 days left, and I'm starting to lose it. I don't know how the heck I'm gonna get through this. I suppose it'll have to be one day at a time until the end. I was not at school today, as my flight back to Arizona was delayed numerous times. I had a sub (with no sub plans!), but it seems the day went OK (aside from two boys squeezing an ice pack until it burst, spewing blue liquid/ice all over the classroom). Sigh. I've exhausted all my leave, and I'm still sick! Grr...

Fortunately, tomorrow is Tuesday: the day of two specials! It should go by pretty quickly. On our flight home (late) last night, the movie "The Freedom Writers" was shown. Having seen the movie before, I opted to watch it again, hoping it would perhaps inspire me to finish these last few weeks with vigor, enthusiasm, and optimism. Last night I BRIEFLY toyed around with the idea of teaching another year. Then I remembered how it's not a bowl of cherries right now, so I'm out for the time being. I have not, however, completely ruled out teaching for the rest of my life. I may try it again when I'm a bit older (and wiser!).

That's the scoop for now. Time to make copies and go home. Ciao!

T.G.I... T?

2007-05-03T11:50:00.000-06:00

Yay for Thursdays when I'm not coming in on the following Friday!! :) For once, I was in a stellar mood last night. I stayed up extra long (and was productive) becuase I was so happy! :) I get to see a few good friends tonight, then I'm off to see my family in Ohio tomorrow!! Yay!

My kids are currently in P.E. (out on the baseball field, and it's a really beautiful day for it, too), so I have a few minutes to type a bit. Before P.E., I had the kids working quietly on some packets I'd assembled yesterday. They're pretty substantial, and the ones for tomorrow's sub are almost three times as much work! Muwahahhaa. Anyway, I had the class do packets yesterday, and it worked pretty well. Not only did it keep them relatively quiet for 45 minutes (!!), but I also included a pretty comprehensive review of reading, math, language arts, and other various skills. I was able to "double-dip" the grades for it, so that helped. :)

Anyway, the kids asked a lot of very obvious questions to me when completing the packets. Most of my answers were found upon re-reading the directions. Oy. Today, attempting to combat this, I wrote on the board: "For the love of all that is good and right, PLEASE read the directions CAREFULLY before asking me ANY questions. If I can answer your question by reading the directions to you, I will say, 'Duh!' very loudly." I then announced this to the class, who were amused by the statement. A few smart-ass students asked me questions just to hear me say, "Duh!" in my squeaky, raspy voice. After a while, I saw the kids reading a bit more carefully through the directions, so maybe it helped. Man, being in a good mood REALLY helps! Who'dve thunk?

Well, I shall be off. There are things to prep before I go pick up my little darlings. Ciao! :)

Two Forty!

2007-05-02T16:32:00.000-06:00

So I've invented a new catch-phrase for everything that is stupid and asinine: "Two forty!" This refers to the ridiculous schedule we've been keeping the past few weeks at school. Every 1st and 3rd Wednesday of the month, we have early release days. That means the students get out at 2:15, and the teachers have time for meetings and prep until 4pm. HOWEVER, our bus system is so screwed up (and there's construction in one area where the buses go) that a "2:15" dismissal has been pushed back to a 2:40 one. Pah! The kids are *supposed* to be ON the buses, ready to go home AT 2:15. They didn't call the older grades (4-8) to go until 2:40 today! Insanity!!

Anyway, other drama has also unfolded today... Our much-anticipated (though equally dreaded by me) Grand Canyon field trip has been cancelled. It is NOT due to behavior, as the principal, the other 4th grade teacher, and I had agreed. Oh, no. Apparently, I needed to get the Board of Education's approval for an overnight trip beforehand. Did ANYONE tell me I needed to get this or HOW to do so?! Not until today, really. The "acting principal" (another teacher who takes over when our principal is gone) called me & the other 4th grade teacher into the principal's office this morning for a meeting. The four of us (with the actual principal there) discussed the trip and the ramifications it could have on the school. Apparently, having the trip be behavior-contingent is "admitting our incompetence as teachers and as a school." I was told that it'd look bad for ALL of us if we made the guidelines to go based on behavior. What the hell?! They couldn't have mentioned this, oh, I don't know... MONTHS ago!? The "acting principal" pretty much tore me a new one this morning, ripping into how I'm not doing my job right (though I had no specific guidelines prior to today) and how the parents are now going to come after ME for all of this. I wanted to cry. (THIS is "two forty!")

I was also informed- in the last month of school, of course- that I need to have ALL letters I send home with the students approved by the principal. NO ONE told me this up until today. I sent home a letter yesterday, explaining that we may cancel the Grand Canyon trip, and the "acting principal" found out and ripped my head off this morning. Eesh. Definitely "two forty."

Also, last week, I was handed a stack of cardstock sheets with each student's name and the state standards on them. Apparently, before we get our last paychecks, we're to fill in whether or not EACH student has met EACH standard for the year. Keep in mind that there are probably close to 300 standards we have had to teach throughout the year. Keep in mind also that I have nearly 30 students. This will be insane. The other newbies & I have agreed to get together to do these things, armed with the makings for massive amounts of margaritas. We joked that the last few of our standard sheets will look more like Hebrew than English. Ha! This is also "two forty."

Finally, I was told that, since we have the buses reserved for the would-be Grand Canyon trip (NEXT Friday, mind you), we have an obligation to take the students on SOME sort of field trip. We were given a few nearby options, but I know it's going to be a chaotic nightmare organizing a trip in just over a week. This, too, is "two forty."

Have I made my point yet? Also, I'm still pretty sick. I'm on day 5 of DayQuil/NyQuil goodness, but it's not helping as I'd hoped it would. Luckily I only have to come in tomorrow, then I'm off Friday for the motherland of Ohio! :) I swear they're trying (here, at school) to pile as MUCH crap as they can on me in the last 18 days of school. Ya know what? They're doing a good job.

Sweet, sweet May!!!

2007-05-01T17:13:00.000-06:00

It's finally here: the beautiful, glorious, underestimated month of MAY!!! :D Only 19 more days left!!

Ahem. So today went by quickly, all things considered. We finished our core reading book (McGraw-Hill) last week, so we've started book reports this week. So far, the kids are interested in the project, especially since they get to choose their own books (with my approval, of course). Yay.

We had a notoriously bad sub for art today, so my kids were awful. Knowing this would happen, I told them before we left for art, "Regardless of who the sub is, you MUST be respectful and polite. Don't ruin our chances of going to the Grand Canyon by not following directions or by messing around." I got kind of gruff, actually, and eventually said, "You WILL not ruin this trip for us. Understand?" And a lot of kids stood up a bit straighter and replied, "Yes, ma'am." Interesting.

And of course the day was downhill from there. The sub (who is known for doing little more than sitting at her desk and reading a book) told me when I picked up the class, "This is the worst class I've had in the past 4 days here." Joy. Someone shoot me, please.

I'm also still pretty sick. My voice is very hoarse and cracks a lot, I have an incessant cough, I'm sniffly, I'm achy, etc. It's really fun. :P It is nice, though, being so hopped-up on DayQuil that I don't really care what happens in class.

We did do one good thing today, though. I printed out a list of all the students in the class and distributed one copy to each student. I had the students put their names on the papers and write one positive comment about each of their peers. I will compile these (tonight??? soon...) and hand them out before school's over, so that each student has a page full of good things about them. I've heard of other teachers who have done this, and I love the idea! We'll see how it goes.

Anyway, that's all for now. Ciao!

Just pluggin' along...

2007-04-30T17:09:00.000-06:00

So school is *officially* over for the students one month from today!!! Woo hoo!! I apologize, faithful readers, that this blog will probably henceforth be a countdown to the end of my teaching career. (The current coutdown stands at only 20 days!)

My voice is nearly gone. This fact alone made the day very interesting. My voice kept cracking, which made the kids laugh a lot. I must admit: it's humorous. However, it's still extremely annoying when I try to yell across the playground at a kid and all that comes out is a high-pitched squeak.

The kids are still just being little monsters. I'm extremely tempted to just cancel the whole Grand Canyon trip; we'll see how this week goes. I mean, really: the trip is supposed to be next Friday, just a week & a few days away. You'd think the kids could hang in there that long, but they can't. Ugh! Even the 13 who are still going are having a hard time staying focused, getting work done, and not being incessantly annoying. I have a sub this coming Friday (as I'm flying back to the homeland to see my little sister graduate), so I'm going to hold the trip over their heads for this week, especially Friday. Ha.

Anyway, all the teachers here are done. We're checked out. We're not mentally around anymore. I've been getting the same sentiment from all the teachers I've talked to today: Just ride it out 'til the end of the year. This point is review anyway, especially since the state testing is done. What crap.

Again, I don't mean to constantly complain. There are a few good things still happening. For example, I had a really good science lesson with the kids last week. This week, we're starting book reports, so the kids get to choose their own books to read and then report to the class on them. Hopefully, that'll be cool. We still have our HUGE fundraiser in a few weeks, so that should raise quite a bit of money for much-needed playground equipment.

Ok, off to go into town for some errands. Have a great last day of April, y'all!

The Last Friday in April!! :)

2007-04-27T16:19:00.000-06:00

So I'm excited! In addition to having only 21 days left of school, this is also our last Friday in April. After that, it's all May, which is when school gets out! I feel bad for being excited, but I don't feel bad at the same time.

Anyway, some things of note today:

1.) It's finally warm out!! Today's high is 85, and it feels that it's about hit it presently (at 4pm). The kids were complaining today, "It's too hot! We shouldn't be outside!" (I thought to myself: "You wusses; you're Arizonans, for crying out loud!)

2.) We got to watch "Madagascar" today, which I lovelovelove. However, I was about to lose it at the screening. We had grades 4-8 in the gym, watching the movie on a screen, shown from a laptop and projector. The kids were antsy, and at least 2 students were up every few minutes, asking to go to the bathroom or get a drink or go to the office or do any other of 8 million things that DIDN'T involve sitting quietly and enjoying the movie. Bleh!! The other 5th grade teacher said that she thinks we've sort of conditioned the kids (as a society) to have only 30-minute attention spans. From what I've seen this year, that seems to be a pretty accurate statement.

3.) I met with another newbie & a sub after school to discuss our upcoming fundraiser. Our "playground benefit," as we now call it, will be held 3 weeks from today. I'm a little frightened! There is SO much to do: contacting local newspapers & radio stations, making flyers, coordinating volunteers, collecting donations, writing thank you letters, etc. I'm a bit stressed, especially with our Grand Canyon trip only 2 weeks away (IF we even go!). I will be SOOOO happy 3 weeks from this Sunday, when everything is essentially over.

4.) We teachers received hilarious letters from the principal in our mailboxes this afternoon. The letter reads as follows (errors remain intact):

"4/27/07

TEACHERS,

We are rapidly approaching the end of the year. I realize that both the students and teachers are anticipating this. I am attempting to make sure that students understand that they will be learning and working rigut up to the last day of school... It is important that you stress this to your students so that they do not get the attitude that school is over from now until May 30th. We are already experiencing difficulty with classrooms being unruly for substitutes. I don't wish to cancel fieldtrips but this will happen if they cannot demonstrate control and good behavior in the classroom.

"I would also like to ask that you keep your absences down to a minimum. I realize that you all have things that you need to do and places you would like to go in the nice weather. Please think of your students and consider them in your decisions to be absent. In addition, it is becoming harder and harder to get subs. They too have places they wish to go and things to do. [Our librarian] does a wonderful job of covering your absences but even she cannot pull rabbits out of a hat. If you absolutely must be gone for medical reasons so be it. Please keep all other appointments after school hours.

THANK YOU,

[Our principal]"

Hehe. I laughed aloud when I read it. This week, we've had an immense amount of teachers call off (myself included- twice!). I can't help but empathize with the teachers who are taking time off; if we don't use the time, we essentially lose it. (The district offers to pay us half a sub's pay- $42.50- for each day we don't use, but I'd much rather take the day off and still make my usual $110.) I'm also taking off next Friday to go to my little sister's college graduation. I'm sort of morbidly hoping that the class will have a REALLY bad day next week with the sub, so that I can cancel the Grand Canyon trip. Is that horrible? Actually, if the trip *does* happen (it's still uncertain at this point), it'll only be with about 12 or 13 kids who deserve to be there, so it'd be pretty nice after all. We'll see!

Anyway, that's about it for the time being. I'm actually sick at the moment (go figure!), so I've been hopped-up on DayQuil for the past 2 days. Now it's time to go home, rest up, and spend the week backpacking in Southern Arizona! Peace.

Being positive

2007-04-26T16:44:00.000-06:00

So I'm going to try my darndest today to NOT complain in my blog. I know I do frequently, and I know it can't always be a joy to read.

That being said, today went pretty quickly (which is about all I can ask for at the moment). We had a cool presentation by some members of our local American Legion branch, and I learned some stuff about the U.S. flag. For example, I guess at one point in our history there were 15 stars and 15 stripes. I had no idea about the stripes! Also, a U.S. flag should always be on a speaker's right-hand side. Flags should not be displayed at night unless they have adequate lighting. Tattered, torn, or old flags can be given to any American Legion or VFW branch, who will then properly dispose of it. The way a U.S. flag should be destroyed, apparently, is first cutting the stars and stripes apart from each other. Then both pieces are to be burned. Who knew all this? I sure didn't!

We've had 3 assemblies this week, which the kids and I all like. Tuesday, we had a staff member play the glass armonica (an in instrument invented by Benjamin Franklin) among other cool percussion instruments; yesterday, the kids saw a presentation given by a parent on the Grand Canyon; today, we had the flag ceremony. Props to the community for sharing this all with us!

Tomorrow, to celebrate the students' good behavior during the AIMS test, we're going to have a popcorn-and-movie party in the afternoon. (This was sponsored by the prinicpal, who will be providing the popcorn!) I opted for "Madagascar," since I love that movie, and the other grades 4-6 teachers agreed. Score. That means I really only have to teach 'til 1:30 tomorrow! Yippee!

Also (and this isn't complaining, this is merely stating facts), we may not go to the Grand Canyon on our overnight trip. Apparently, when I was gone yesterday, the kids were off the walls. People were throwing books, erasers, and other objects; people stood on chairs; people were running around the classroom and yelling, etc. Yuck!! We had just had a bad sub report Monday, so I was even more upset by the news of yesterday's occurences. Additionally, one of my normally "good" students threatened the sub at the end of the day! She said something about throwing a chair at the sub, and how the girl's mom could beat up the principal. That girl is on in-school suspension all next week, and was sent home today and tomorrow. I cannot believe it!

Hmm... that about sums it up for the time being. Now I'm off to play catch-up with grading, copying, and PTO stuff-ing. Bleh! Have a great night, y'all!

3-day week for me!!

2007-04-24T16:54:00.000-06:00

So I really can't complain that much; I have a 3-day week this week (I'm taking tomorrow off and I wasn't here for more than an hour yesterday), I have a 4-day week the 2 weeks after that, and then we only have 2 more weeks of school left! As we speak, I am printing out this entire blog (serveral hundred pages) on the library printer... muwahahaha.

Apparently, the sub had a heck of a time yesterday. She called in our acting principal (another teacher who takes over for the principal when the principal's not here). This "acting principal" can be very nasty with the kids, but they generally had it coming. Yesterday, she sent 3 students home! Incredible that they were so bad. Yuck. I feel a bit bad leaving tomorrow, only because the kids will have had 2 subs this week. Oops. However, I feel somewhat justified in using my last days of leave before I go. (I currently have .5 sick day left, and 1 personal day. I plan to use both of these before the year's up.)

My kids were actually pretty good for me today. I think they *do* miss me when they're gone, though they still won't be quiet for more than a few minutes at a time. They had a heck of a time in art today... The art teacher told me, "They just can't control themselves. I've about had it with them." Next week, they'll be doing writing assignments instead of painting, drawing, or creating cool stuff. Punks.

After art, I sat the class down for another one of my famous "spiels." We talked about respect (as usual), fairness/equality (as usual), and why the teachers keep leaving the school. A bunch of the kids were able to vent some feelings about the teachers leaving, and I tried to explain why it happens so frequently (bad leadership on some levels, disrespectful students, low salaries, etc.). I really do feel guilty for leaving the kids next year, but the guilt isn't enough to make me stay.

We ended the day with recess, then I read "Now Let me Fly: The Story of a Slave Family" (I can't use the "underline" feature, so I had to use quotes). It's a good book, and it's sometimes calming for the kids & me to have me read to them. That's how we'll wrap the days up for the time being, I think.

Anyway, I have much to do (sub plans for tomorrow, plan out our ever-closer-approaching Grand Canyon trip, getting ready for our upcoming fundraiser, etc.). I shall be off, and I probably won't update again until Thursday. Hope you're all well. Take care!

A "Sick" Day

2007-04-23T10:41:00.000-06:00

So I got to school today (about 10 minutes late, as usual) and just sighed. "Oh, I don't know if I can do this today..." I'd thought, and immediately decided to see if I could get a sub. I went to the librarian (a grandmotherly figure whom I like and who likes me), who is responsible for getting subs for the district. I'd told her I wasn't feeling good (not a right-out lie; mentally, I felt like crap), and asked if there were any subs available. At first glance, it appeared that it'd be impossible to get a sub, so I'd resigned myself to "tough-out the day." However, a few minutes later when I was in my classroom, an aide came in and informed me that there was one sub who was able to come in on such short notice. Surely a blessing!!

So I taught the 4th graders math (we're doing subtraction of fractions with unlike denominators) for a while before the sub came in. When she arrived, of course, there was pandemonium in the classroom. "What's that lady doing here?" or "Where are you going?!" or "Don't leave us!"... Eesh! Perhaps I should've told them I was leaving?? Anyway, the sub was a woman maybe in her late 30s/early 40s who seemed very competent. She was confident that the day would be fine, though I worried aloud, and she instructed me to get home and feel better. I hope the day goes well for all of them. She should be good.

This is the second such day I've taken this year. I don't feel bad about it in the least. As a matter of fact, I feel I should use up all my sick and personal days (I'm also taking off Wednesday of this week to explore the city where my new job will be). It's pretty much "use 'em or lose 'em" as far as leave days go, so I'm gonna max them out before the end of the year.

Anyway, that's the update for the time being. I've promised myself I'll do a few productive things today to offset the minor guilt of leaving school. Have a great day, all, and thanks for hanging in there with me these last few (5) weeks of teaching. Peace.

27 more days left!!

2007-04-19T17:10:00.000-06:00

(Who's more eager: me or the kids? It's a toss-up!)

Today, all things considered, it was a decent day. Not stellar, but definitely manageable. The kids were pretty good all morning (!), and not too bad in the afternoon. I only had to send 2 out of the room due to behavior, and they both returned later, ready to work.

There are a lot of odd times in my day transition-wise. I have a lot of students (10 or so of 28) in the gifted program, which meets twice a week for 45 minutes each time. Thus, I have about 2/3 of my class, so I can't really teach a new lesson, and it's not fair to give them extra work, so we do a lot of reviews and games. Then, in the afternoons, we have beginning band and intermediate band, each of which is 45 minutes, and each of which meets 4 days a week. That's a large reason why the afternoons are so messed up. So, all in all, I rarel;y have my entire class the whole day, which actually sucks, because then I have to go back and fill in gaps of information that some students missed. Oy!

Today we had a rather successful game of adding fractions with unlike denominators. This process (which I had thought to be rather easy, especially for the older students) has turned out to be a great cause of stress in the 4th graders' lives. We're spending this week on that concept, then next week on subtracting unlike denominators and a test on Friday. Yay!

Hmm... in other news, I got a call from the superintendant today. He asked me if my roommate (the former tech guy) is still in jail; I informed him that he is. The super then asked if I could let him (the super) into my house to get the tech guy's computers and go through them. Seems there may be some "questionable material" on the computers (???), so the super wants to see what's up. I ran this whole thing by numerous veteran teachers, who all warned me against it, unless the super had an officer and/or search warrant with him at the time. The veterans said that I could eventually get sued by the former roommie for such invasion of privacy, etc. I had to call the super back and ask if he had a search warrant or an officer to go with him; he informed me (through the school secretary; he wouldn't talk to me) that he didn't. He then promptly dropped the subject, and that was that. Hmm... I hope this whole story makes sense. The entire thing just seemed absurd. Hopefully I was able to convey that much.

Anyway, I shall actually input some grades for the time being; I've been slacking a great deal with this. I have ONE set of grades for language arts and ONE set for spelling; the other subjects (even 4 weeks into the 4th quarter) are blank. Oops. Can ya blame me, though? Oh, and tomorrow morning is the older grades' student of the month/honor roll assembly. I plan to do a little speech about Darfur, so I must go prepare. Peace!

The end is in sight

2007-04-18T10:19:00.000-06:00

So, faithful readers, the school internet is back up, however temporarily. My kids have just left for library and computer, so I have a teeny bit of down-time before I get the rest of my work done.

So, to update: the school has finished its dreaded AIMS testing, meaning the school year is coming to a close. We have just over a month left (29 more school days left, but who's counting?), and the kids are starting to get even antsier. As an aside, we were *supposed* to have the 4th graders do a pilot version of the Science AIMS test (it was traditionally only for reading, writing, and math), but the Arizona Department of Education lost the tests! Ha! My 4th graders are off the hook for the test, thank goodness. (Gotta love incompetence, right?)

Anyway, times are still pretty rough. I'm finishing the year on anti-depressants, which I hope to discontinue as soon as the last student leaves on May 30. It's difficult getting up in the morning, so I habitually show up just 15 minutes before school starts. (We're supposed to be here half an hour beforehand.) I figure that since I usually stay 'til 7 or 8 anyway, it doesn't really matter what time I get here, as long as I'm prepared for the day.

The class, as usual, is driving me absolutely crazy. However, there is solace in commiserating with other teachers. One of the other newbies, completely fed up with her bunch, has taken drastic measures. Apparently, yesterday morning, she split her class into two groups: those who put forth an effort and try to learn, and those who don't. She placed the "slackers" in the back of the classroom, telling them, "I don't care what you do, but do NOT interfere with the students who want to learn." The students who try are in the front. Though this seems inherently wrong to me, it is an awfully tempting idea. I hate the fact that it's so easy to just give up on students (and I never had dreamed I'd do so). It just gets to a point where the "trouble" students a.) do whatever they can to piss you off, b.) sit there and do absolutely nothing, or c.) actively try to get kicked out of class each day. What the heck do I do?? They don't care about lunch detentions; their parents just get angry if I call with bad news (and I'm sure little good comes of that); the principal does NOTHING to help in these situations... So I'm left angry and ineffective. Powerless.

Case in point: We have this brilliant new method of getting our students on the buses. For some reason, it seemed like a good idea to line up ALL the kids outside on the playground and have them get on their buses in HUGE lines. It's a nightmare. For about 10 minutes at the end of the day, all the teachers in the school are herding all 350 students. Yuck. Anyway, my (self-chosen) "job" is to stand by one of the tetherball poles, telling students not to touch the ball or rope. (The kids are jam-packed near the tetherball, and if someone were to hit it, people would definitely get hit.) One of my students (who's been driving me CRAZY lately) blatantly defied me. When my back was turned (for literally 3 seconds), he took the ball and BAM! hit it as hard as he could. I whirled around, furious, and said, "I told you not to touch the ball and-" before I could continue, I got pelted in the side of the head with the ball. I was absolutely livid (and in pain). "That's why you don't hit the ball! You've got a lunch detention tomorrow!" And the kid just looked at me and laughed. I was so upset, I almost cried on the spot. What nerve! It helped that a bunch of other students were appalled at the situation, and offered apologies and condolences. Sheesh. AND I'm the only adult who will go near the mosh pit of students. All the other teachers kind of stand back and watch the chaos unfold. It sucks.

Hm. I really don't mean to complain so much on here. We had a PTO meeting last night that was actually very nice. As secretary, I feel an essential part of the group, which is nice. This playground fundraiser is getting to be HUGE. So huge, in fact, that we've pushed it back to next month. The fire department will be here (firetrucks, ambulance, games, firemen, and all), local community figures and businesses will be helping, and we'll have a bake sale, cakewalk, raffle, auction, and more. Should be awesome. Actually, I have to go so I can type up a flier to go home to families. Hope this update helps. Keep your fingers crossed that I make it through the next month and a half alive!! Peace.

my apologies for the delay.

2007-04-12T18:31:00.000-06:00

It's been exceptionally difficult to be in touch with the world this past week. You see, I've lost my cell phone (eek!), AND the school's internet is down. It's been down all week, and there's little hope of getting it back anytime soon (especially with my ex-roommate, the ex-tech guy, still in jail). Furthermore, my home internet connection is tenuous as well, so that doesn't help.

So, today was day 3 of 4 for the AIMS (Arizona Instrument to Measure the Standards) test. Yuck!!!! The kids and I are all wiped out from the week; thank goodness we only have one more day to go! Fortunately, I've only had to work with my 5th graders for the testing this week; pseudo-mentor teacher took my 4th graders for the mornings of testing. It's been VERY nice having only 12 little monsters in the room instead of the usual 26/27 (depending on who's withdrawn or enrolled this week).

My class has been out of control lately, and I know it's my fault. Yes, it's April, yes, we only have a month & a half of school left, but they have just been absolute monsters the past few weeks. I'm so sick of it. I feel like I'm on "autopilot" these days, not really caring what they learn, but just that the time passes quickly. I feel bad about the whole ordeal, especially since the students' education is severely in jeopardy. What to do?? I'm trying to "hang in there," especially since the end is in sight, but it's incredibly hard to give one's best when one is completely and utterly done with one's job.

I apologize again; I'm just in a funk. The better news is that I'll be starting as a Health Educator the first week in June!! :) School gets out (for the teachers) on May 31, then I start that next Monday (June 4th) in my new position! I'm so thrilled that I won't be in the same classroom all day, that I'll get to travel a lot, and that I'll have money and healthcare over the summer!! I will not be returning to this school next year, for I am just done with teaching at the moment. (Have I made this painfully clear yet?)

The principal at our school is also quite a popular topic of discussion lately. It's either love or hate, and most people don't seem to be on the favorable side of her. I personally think she's doing an OK job, considering all that she's been handed. Anyway, she offered to be a reference for me for the aforementioned Health Educator job. They called her last week, and apparently she gave me a good recommendation, because they told her that their intention was to offer me a position. (When I spoke with the woman with whom I'd interviewed and she offered me the job, I enthusiastically accepted it on the spot.) The principal- that afternoon- BEGGED me to stay at the school. "We'll give you any grade you want, any class, guaranteed. We'll work with you, and I promise you no more combination classes." The teacher who was with me at the time couldn't believe her ears. I was very flattered, and told the principal, "I'll think it over." Eesh. The principal asked me today, point blank, "Have you given the county an answer yet? Will you be staying with us next year?" I looked her in the eye and flat-out lied. "I'm not sure yet," I said, surprised at how easily I just lied to my supervisor.

Anyway, I shall be off. Hopefully this update calms a lot of eager minds! :) I'm taking next Monday off for my own sanity, but I'll write tomorrow, provided the internet's working. Take care, all, and I'll catch ya on the flipside!

P.S. We have our GIANT fundraiser for the playground next month AND the class Grand Canyon trip. I will be the most relieved person in the country when May is finally over. Ok, ciao!

...and I'm done.

2007-04-05T16:46:00.000-06:00

I'll try not to turn the remainder of this blog into a complete bitch-fest, so I'll keep it positive. (We have only 37 days left!!! How's *that* for positive?) Anyway, my friend Joe did, in fact, complete his blog entry about his perception of the school and public education. For your reading pleasure:

Today was interesting.

Maybeth treated me to an inside view of our public education system. In some ways, the classroom antics are the worst I've ever seen. I've never seen so many kids just not care, not try, and take advantage of a genuine teacher. Then again, I've never been in a classroom with ~30 kids that consists of both 4th AND 5th graders. Not to mention the arbitrary change in the year's lesson plans to teaching to a standardized test after the year has already started. Why don't we add the fact that this teacher is in her first year teaching?

Overall I'd say that Mb is doing a great job for being pulled in over 30 directions every day, all day long. Even with more experience, given her situation with the students, less than zero support from the administration, the general government education snafu, teaching to obtuse standardized tests, and general lack of resources I'd be hard pressed to expect more than a Pyrrhic victory, let alone any success whatsoever. The fact that Mb has achieved what she has in this situation so far is impressive to me.

Case in point on support from the administation:
As I write this one of the janitors comes in telling of a vacuum that just broke. The hose into the bag no longer has a latch, so it spontaneously removes itself during operation and spews crap all over. In reporting the situation our janitor friend is turned away with the boilerplate response: "There's no money for it in the budget."

So they're okay with not vacuuming. Interesting. Isn't it a telltale sign in the corporate world that the company is falling apart when they start looking to cut expenses by screwing the janitors? I don't really care how much money they have in the budget, that is the wrong response. Any functional administration, regardless of budget, would find a way to solve the problem for the janitor. In other words, the administration, if it were competent, would support its staff of teachers, janitors, lunch ladies, etc. instead of using some blanket excuse like "it's not in the budget."

On last anecdote. I once worked on a student project. We also had a restrictive budget. And yet somehow we were able to build the world's fastest electric landspeed car ever. The point is that where there is a will, there is a way. If the school needs a new vacuum I am sure you can get one donated, or solicit a local handyman to fix the broken bracket. Duct tape anyone?

Fortunately for me I got to work with a few smaller groups of good students. I tutored 2 in math and 3 in stoichiometry. The kids I worked with genuinely tried hard. Though if I had to make general comments on their performance, they had a hard time knowing where to start when attacking problems and they were very easily distracted.

For instance, when I was helping one girl with a math problem that involved the use of division. Her difficulty with that particular problem stemed from not conceptually understanding multiplication and division as repeated addition and subtraction, and then using the derived results such as multiplication tables in reverse. Hence her frustration started at the beginning of the problem when she didn't understand how to go about solving it. After she had a starting point it was a little difficult keeping her focused. Though, interestingly, after a few minutes of working on problems her attention and focus for the math became better than before.
She also had some trouble with identifying trends in data when presented in a table. For instance, if you had a function that increases by 2 every year she would have trouble identifying what the list of variables meant all together. For this I had her read the tables out to me in proper English sentences, then summarize what's happening in English. I think she was overwhelmed by the information at first, then couldn't remember the data long enough to see trends.

Wow... this has grown to be slightly epic for a blog post. I will finish with one last story.

As I write this it's now 2 days after the incident described above with the janitor. This morning at work I was in a meeting for 2.5 hours, for which I was needed for about 10 minutes. In my extreme boredom during the 2 hours and 20 minutes I wasn't needed, I noticed that what happened in the classroom is the same as what happens in meetings with too many people and a lack of structure. In both cases, people will act on their own initiative to fill the void of leadership, even if what they fill it with is off-topic comments, repeated commentary, or confusing comments. A room full of highly educated engineers acted the same as a room full of 4th/5th graders. In a strange way, I am not surprised. Then again, what does this say about people in general? What are the implications for business? For schools? Where's a social psychologist when I need'em...

Silence.

2007-04-04T11:18:00.000-06:00

So my room is silent right now, and it's full of students. "What?!" you may ask, not sure of what's going on. That's right: I'm coming down on them like the wrath of God. I've just really had enough at this point.

We all went to library (which is unusual) today, and it was a complete disaster. The librarian grew so frustrated at one point that she demanded, "Heads down!" The students sat in silence for the last 10 minutes of library. I was completely embarrassed, but also too exhausted to really care.

Right now, they're all in here with options of work to do. I've set out guidelines for what they MAY and MAY NOT do, and I've mandated total silence for the next 30 minutes. This is actually more for me (so that I may unwind and subsequently vent to this blog), but a lot of them also seem to appreciate the calmness. I think we're all tired of the constant chaos and mayhem that seem to define our days here, and I'm doing my best to stop it.

Sadly, all I can think about right now is how many more days I have to do this. (Our countdown currently stands at 39 days.) Perhaps this isn't the right time for me in life or the district or the career itself, I'm not really sure. What I do know, though, is that I'm completely done with this particular job at this particular moment in time.

Hm. Not everything is bleak, though; I interviewed for a position as a Health Educator yesterday, and I think it went relatively well. I'll know the outcome this Friday, so it's a pretty fast turnaround time. Also, the social life is pretty decent, so that always helps. My friend, Joe, was out here last week & part of this week, so he's working on a guest blog for this. (He came in for the full day on Monday, and has quite a few things to say about the current state of public education.)

I suppose that's all for now, faithful readers. I think my biggest hope for you all is that you find a career and a lifestyle that makes you truly happy. Ciao.

untitled

2007-04-02T18:02:00.000-06:00

This, dear readers, is from my good friend, Joe, who came to visit. If I have posted this already, I'll look and delete this one if I have.

Today was interesting.

Maybeth treated me to an inside view of our public education system. In some ways, the classroom antics are the worst I've ever seen. I've never seen so many kids just not care, not try, and take advantage of a genuine teacher. Then again, I've never been in a classroom with ~30 kids, which consists of both 4th AND 5th graders. Not to mention the arbitrary change in the year's lesson plans to teaching to a standardized test after the year has already started. Why don't we add the fact that this teacher is in her first year teaching?

Overall I'd say that Mb is doing a great job for being pulled in over 30 directions every day, all day long. Even with more experience, given her situation with the students, less than zero support from the administration, government education snafu, teaching to obtuse standardized tests, and general lack of resources I'd be hard pressed to expect more than Pyrrhic victory, let alone any success whatsoever. The fact that Mb has achieved what she has in this ridiculous situation so far is impressive to me.

Case in point on the administation:
As I write this one of the janitors comes in telling of a vacuum that just broke. The hose into the bag no longer has a latch, so it spontaneously removes itself during operation and spews crap all over. In reporting the situation our janitor friend is turned away with the boilerplate response: "There's no money for it in the budget."

So they're okay with not vacuuming. Interesting. Isn't it a telltale sign in the corporate world that the company is failing when they start looking to cut expenses by screwing the janitors?

Fortunately for me I got to work with a few smaller groups in tutoring math and stoichiometry...

2 months to go!!

2007-03-30T17:38:00.000-06:00

(But who's counting?) Today was INSANE. Yesterday, we decided as a class to rearrange the desks. The kids chose people to sit with, so they're in groups essentially of their own choosing. The past two days have consequently been a noisy nightmare. I told them we're on a "probationary period" for the groups, and I am their "probation officer." (I can't help but use those terms when they fit so closely into my own insane life at the moment!)

I hate to complain, but I'm just so tired. I'm tired of the job never *really* being done. I'm already far behind in my grading and lesson planning, and we're only 2 weeks into this quarter! Fortunately, the students' last day of school is exactly 2 months from now. I think I'm more excited about the end of school than the kids are! :P

We had an assembly at the end of school today where all the classes attended. For having 350ish students and their teachers in the gym, we were all relatively comfortable. Anyway, it was an awards assembly for good behavior. We have these "TREAT" coupons we're to give to students who are extraordinarily helpful or considerate, and they go into a big jar. Each day, two students are chosen for a small prize. Today was a HUGE raffle for larger prizes (basketballs, CD players, etc.) for the whole school. 9 of my kids won! 9! Very cool. However, after the assembly, all the kids were riled up, so we went outside for recess for the last 30 minutes. Nothing major happened, but I realized I really, really *don't* like being responsible for 27 kids all day, every day. If something were to happen to any one of them at recess, I would be held legally (and ethically!) responsible. Sigh. I also really, really *don't* like being an authority figure with kids. They're just so explosive and immature. It's quite annoying.

After school, we had a little female bonding time in the office, where 5 of us happened to be gossiping about my (ex-)roommate, who was "let go" from his job at last night's board meeting. It was a good time, and I really do like the staff here. We're mostly on the same page, and it's SO nice to vent to people who completely understand what I'm going through, because they are, too!

Final gripe, then I'll stop... our educational system. After said bonding time, I went to the teachers' lounge to check my mail and finish up for the day. Our SLP (speech & language pathologist) was there. I was her Secret Santa in December, so I learned a lot about her then. I respect this woman a great deal, and we had a nice heart-to-heart today about how ridiculous education is right now, at least in our district. We agreed that the accountability for children is being placed more on teachers/school staff and much less on parents. In fact, the music teacher yesterday told me that CPS wouldn't take kids out of a drug-ridden home because the parents' drug use is a "lifestyle choice." What the hell?! The SLP and I agreed that we do it all: we're babysitters, parents, disciplinarians, nurses, counselors, bookkeepers, data enterers, crisis managers, social workers, and so forth. I don't know of any other profession that has SO much responsibility thrown on someone her first year.

I feel I spend so much more time on classroom management than I do on education. I feel like my kids are getting ripped off by having me as a teacher. During parent-teacher conferences, one mother was recounting her usual conversation with her daughter:

Mom: "So, honey, what'd you do in school today?"
Daugher: "Dividing by fractions, a lot of reading, some grammar, and a bit of science."
Mom: "That's all? How come you didn't do more?
Daugher: "Because the class will never stop talking, so the teacher is constantly getting on people to be quiet."

And really, that's the truth. The kids are missing SO much instructional time because they can't keep their fricking mouths shut! Ahem.

I hear it's worse at the high school, too; the SLP was telling me about an altercation she had had last week with a high school senior. Apparently, he was looking up porn (and she could hear the conversation from her office next door) and started making lewd comments about women. Eventually, she'd had enough and stormed into the classroom, saying, "That's it! That talk is entirely inappropriate for school. I've heard all I need to hear from you! Shut your mouth!" And I can't blame her, from the things this kid was saying. She turned to leave and heard the kid mutter, "You bitch." She marched back over to him and escorted him to the office. Upon her arrival, the secretary (who apparently adores this kid) said, "Oh, Johnny, you weren't swearing, were you? Well, just don't do it again." And that's it!! Glad he learned a valuable lesson there.

Anyway, I'm feeling OK about the day (though it was really loud and ridiculous), but I'm increasingly pessimistic about what is happening in education in our country. What's worse is my exact case: I, an educated, caring, motivated young woman, had wanted to make a real difference by entering the teaching profession. What I was met with upon my arrival (indifference, anger, drama, irresponsibility, lies, etc.) has caused me to reevaluate my career choice. I am nearly certain I will be out of the field within the next few years, and that fact worries me about our country. I've decided that I don't want to deal with all this right now. It's too much. And if I, who was so dedicated to enacting social change, am so jaded and bitter and cynical, who will teach our children?

My fickle friends

2007-03-29T16:52:00.001-06:00

So now, even as I'm increasingly convinced that I won't be back next school year, I still struggle with this decision! Today was not a good day by any means, but there are so many other little "extras" that keep me going. For example, I like the kids being excited to see me every morning. I like the enormous amounts of hugs I receive every day. I like telling people, "I'm a teacher," and I love it when they say, "Wow. That must be so difficult." I like the staff at the school (though half of them are leaving), and I'm overall very impressed with the parents. The question now is: Will I do it all again, and if so, will I do it next year?

On Monday, I went to Phoenix to see about a job with the Sheriff's Office; I landed an interview the first week in May. I also applied online for a few jobs in my own county, and I have an interview next Tuesday already. The latter job is as a health educator for my county, which actually sounds like a pretty sweet deal. We'll see how it all pans out.

I'm also stressing a bit because we have two big things coming up: the playground fundraising project (which occurs in less than a month now!!) and our overnight Grand Canyon trip that I still apparently have to clear with the school board. Oops. After the GC trip, the year is essentially over, so that helps, but there's a LOT to do these next two months. Anyway, I have a friend who flew in from out of town, so I've gotta go have a social life! Peace.

All right, Tuesday...

2007-03-27T16:43:00.000-06:00

... not too shabby. Considering the way I felt this morning (miserable emotionally!), I actually feel pretty good right now.

Turns out the kids were AWFUL for the sub yesterday!! (Yes, faithful readers, your teaching heroine took yesterday off as a mental health day, YET AGAIN.) The poor woman left a long and detailed note, saying, "I feel like I failed. Most of the time, I was shepherding them to be on task, be quiet, and get some work done." The majority of the note was along those lines. That poor, poor sub! I MUST make this up to her. All the kids who gave her grief were already required by the principal to write apology letters to the sub. Sigh.

Today, I heard a lot of the kids say, "Yay! [I'm] back! We're so glad!" And this was when they didn't think I was around. It really *is* always an ego boost coming back after a sub.

The day was smooth also thanks to two specials. I heart Tuesdays. I bribed the kids to be good in art: I told them that if they were quiet and calm in art, especially, during the beginning and end, that I would give them 10 minutes of recess afterwards AND 10 minutes of earned free time. It worked! This is the FIRST good art report I've had from the art teacher in 2 months. Wowzas.

In this crazy pendulum of a job, I feel like today was a lot better. See, it's days like today that make me think, "Maybe I *can* do this after all." Who knows? I haven't completely decided whether or not to teach again next year, though I'm pretty sure I won't be back. I dunno. ARG. And now I only have a few weeks to decide, especially if I want to move up with my 4th graders. It's kind of up in the air right now.

In other news, I went to Phoenix yesterday to check out the job market. I have NO idea how that'll pan out, nor where I will be (nor what I'll be doing) in 2 months. Quite an adventure. Also, my roommate (reference the previous entry) got arrested Friday! Ha! Right after I collected my rent from him, too! Boo yah. He won't be out of jail for at LEAST a month, so I'm stoked. The superintendant is going to tell him (today or tomorrow) that his contract is terminated. I love this place.

Really?

2007-03-23T16:22:00.000-06:00

So I'm frankly surprised I'm still alive to write this entry. First, because of my pseudo-psycho roommate, and second, because of the rottenness of the day. UGH!! They were total monsters today. And I only "taught" 2 1/2 hours total! YUCK!! Further, I had to deal with a parent of one of my former students (he had wanted to subpoena me earlier in the year, for some unknown reason) AND a very vocal parent of another student not of mine (this dude's a PTO member). The chaos never ends. At lunch, one of the lunch ladies asked me, "Does it feel like you've got f***ing psycho magnet tattooed on your forehead?" I replied, tiredly, "Yes, yes it does."

Next: parent-teacher conferences, day 2. I only had 6 show up this afternoon, for a whopping total of 14 (of 26) families. MUCH better last time around. I suppose I'll be doing a few over the phone the next few days. The last conference, which should've been the best (sweet, stellar student and fellow PTO-officer mother) was actually a bit bummy. See, our math has changed for the time being; we're working from AIMS prep books (to get ready for the upcoming state testing next month), and the material moves at a FAST pace. Coupled with this is the fact that the 5th graders have been going to the 5th grade teacher for about half the year now. Her pace is also rivaling on the speed of sound, whereas I go at a slower, more thorough pace. Guess it just depends on what you're hoping to accomplish with the class. Anyway, this student of mine is a VERY hard worker, and often chooses to go to the library at recess to study and/or take notes. She got a C+ in math, completely based on assessments from this new curriculum. The mother was not happy, and I didn't feel the grade was completely indicative of the girl's progress, but I didn't argue much with the numbers. Plus I think it's good for the girl to learn how to deal with a C now (in the 5th) grade as opposed to getting her first one senior year of high school.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna go home and nap. I have been just DRAINED all week. This job never ends!!! I'm stressing, too, because I know before Monday I still need to do lesson plans, PTO minutes, parent phone calls, and grading. An office job sounds pretty fricking good about now. Oy. So I'm off to rest and enjoy my weekend. Though I feel like I *should* be back in the classroom on Saturday, I shall probably not come here. Muwahhahaha. Should make next week interesting. OK, I'm off for real. Peace!

Conferences: Take 2

2007-03-22T17:20:00.001-06:00

And here we are... 5 months after my FIRST-ever parent-teacher conferences, we have them again!! I only had 8 (of 14 scheduled) parents show up, so that was a bit bummy. A lot of teachers opted to only hold conferences with their "struggling" students' parents; I thought that was a cop-out, so I decided to meet with whichever parents were interested enough in their children's lives! :P

The bitterness and jadedness has set in, I'm afraid. I used to look at the veteran teachers, thinking, "I hope I leave the field before I'm *that* cynical and jaded." Nope; I'm now one of them. Yes, I still care about my kids (all of them), but I've almost "given up" on some of them academically. I mean, really: if they won't put in ANY effort whatsoever, what else can I possibly do? At a point, it doesn't seem like it's up to me; it's up to them! (Or am I just being lazy?) Regardless, I don't find myself as concerned with their academic progress as I once was.

I hate that this job takes good-intentioned, idealistic youngins and promptly turns them into (forgive the repetition) jaded, bitter little things. I honestly thought I had the heart and mind for this; I don't know why I don't enjoy it. Every day when I get here, I think, "Oh, here's another day..." and when I go home (usually around 8pm), I'm too tired to think. I just veg out, go to sleep, rinse, and repeat. It's vicious, really. And I'm not only burned-out on the teaching; it's the administrative crap, the gossip, the constant anger that tears through a school, the meetings, the accountability, the standards, the requirements, the tutoring, the responsibility... you get the drift.

Oy, vey. So I have NO idea what I'll be doing in 3 months. I may teach summer school here for two 8-week sessions, but other than that, I don't know where I'll be or what career I'll be doing. We'll see, I suppose. And though I know I've grown (emotionally and professionally) by leaps & bounds this year, right now I'm too exhausted to care. It's almost harrowing to think of how I was when I started student teaching (just over a year ago)- bright-eyed, eager, idealistic- and to see how I am now- completely done with the whole thing. We'll see, though; next week might be drastically different.

If I never teach again, I have a million times the respect for teachers that I did when I started. What we have to deal with (a roomful of under-fed, over-stimulated, violent, emotional, jaded kids; drug-addict parents; administration; workshops; meetings; financial death; state standards & testing; CPS; custody battles, and so forth...) it's almost too much. I'd once told myself that I would NOT be one of the 50% of teachers who burn out in the first 5 years... Goodbye, yellow brick road.

I still have a few weeks to decide if I'm gonna sign my contract or not. I'm leaning towards no at the moment, but who knows? I have to do some soul-searching, and I have to do it fast.

For now, I'm off to plan out next week and then actually see some friends for once! Catch ya on the flipside.

All I really want...

2007-03-20T20:04:00.000-06:00

... is to go home and sleep!! I just finished putting in the grades that are due tonight, I served at the PTO meeting for an hour and a half, I got through today (somehow), and now nothing sounds more appealing than just sleeping!!! However, I have to prepare for tomorrow (in the classroom), and then type up the PTO meeting minutes, and then lesson plan and then prepare a bit for the upcoming parent-teacher conferences. It never ends.

Also, a fun bit of trivia for you: I got a message today from my roommate's probation officer (?!?!?!!). I foolishly agreed to let a new staff member rent out a room in my apartment for 2 months while he found a more permanent place to stay. He's apparently on probation for 2 DUIs (aggressive ones, or something- not just the standard ones)... AND he drives his car AND the district car. What the ...?

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel: he found a new place to live, and will be out in less than 2 weeks. Also, tomorrow the kids get out an hour early, and then Thursday and Friday, they leave at 11:35am! (We have parent-teacher conferences those afternoons.) Should (SHOULD!!!) be a fast week from here on out, but we'll see how it goes.

Anyway, time to be productive (quickly), then go home!! Ciao.

Post-Spring-Break Stress Disorder!

2007-03-19T11:55:00.000-06:00

So the students and I seem to be suffering from a bad case of PSBSD: Post-Spring-Break Stress Disorder. The morning has been a constant flow of excessive energy. Usually the kids are calm after a weekend (and even after winter break!), but today they're hyper and SO full of energy! This morning, I felt like a cattle herder, and feel like I did more "crowd control" than actual teaching. Yummy.

Anyway, I am going home in about 10 minutes!! :D I'm taking a (mental) health half day, which I so desperately need (even after spring break!). I haven't gotten much sleep lately, and I *must* be here the rest of the week, so this is the time to rest up.

Also, our contract renewals were distributed today. We have to turn them in, apparently, by 3:30pm on April 17th if we want to be certain of our employment here next year. That gives me less than a month to decide if I want to come back!! Granted, I don't think I'm going to sign it anyway, since I am positive that there will be a boatload of positions available, even as late as the summer. We'll see. I have some SERIOUS thinking & analyzing to do this next month. Only time will tell.

For now, I go home and rest (and finish up grades, which are due tomorrow). Peace to all of you!

A new approach

2007-03-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

So I atttended this AWESOME seminar in Phoenix yesterday! It was about dealing with disruptive students, and I loved it. The man who presented it (Mr. Lucio Padilla) was energetic and... happy. An educator who likes his line of work... inconceivable! He gave us really good ideas and starting points, and I took meticulous notes during the entire presentation.

Having introduced the awesomeness that was yesterday's seminar, I shall now talk about a student of mine (let's call him "Tommy"). Tommy came in about halfway through the year, and was completely disruptive, rude, and unable to stay in his seat for more than 3 minutes at a time. The other kids ostrasize him because he is older (12), bigger, and quite obnoxious. Even the librarian has specifically requested that he not be sent to her... EVER. Anwyay, Tommy left right before winter break, and I felt a bit guilty when I sighed with relief. However, it turns out that he's now back, having been kicked out of another school and sent back to us. (He was kickd out of 2 other schools before we got him in October.) Anyway, I can easily see that Tommy is not a bad kid, not by any stretch. He's had an extremely trying childhood (including parents who are on drugs and have no desire to help Tommy do anything worthwhile), and a lot of people don't like him because of his admittedly abraisive nature. I don't mind him all that much, all things considered. I can tell he really just wants to fit in and be liked, and I can't possibly fault him for that.

Anway, at the seminar yesterday, our instructor had us choose one (or two or three) REALLY problematic children. Of course, Tommy immediately came to mind. (I have a few others, too, but Tommy was the first on my list.) Mr. Padilla suggested that we try to establish relationships- real relationships with caring and patience and praise- with our most troublesome students. He reminded us that these children most likely have really crappy home situations, and that we may be the ONLY positive adult role models in their lives. A little depressing, but absolutely true.

The point of the story? I tried some of Mr. Padilla's stuff today, and it's been a really incredible turnout. I told myself that, no matter what, I would NOT lose my temper or snap at a student AT ALL. I pride myself on accomplishing this so far (and there's only an hour and a half in the day left!!... my kids are in art at the moment). I've been trying to apply the ratio of 4 praises to every 1 behavioral reprimand, and it's working pretty well. It is extremely difficult to be positive sometimes, but the atmosphere in the classroom today was a lot happier than usual, and I can't help think it's because of the approach I took today.

The other 5th grade teacher asked me at lunch today, "So where do you stand for next year? Are you coming back or not?" I reeeeeeeeeeally don't know yet. No idea. I'm starting massage therapy school in a month, and that will be my second career at the very least. We'll see. We have a staff meeting today after school with the superintendant, so we may be presented our contracts for next year at that time. Scary!!

Anyway, those are the major updates for the time being. My little sis is in town, and will be coming to school tomorrow and Friday with me. Should be a trip! That's all for now. Ciao!

yay, march!!!

2007-03-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

So evidently it's March. Let's celebrate by playing "teacher" in a classroom full of ROWDY, HYPER, CRAZY students. Yucky!! My kids were off the wall today. The WHOLE day. We hit the ground running this morning, and it went that way all day. I'm SOOOO incredibly relieved that today's over!!

In the morning, we practiced our readers' theatre scripts. Our class is performing 3 different plays (they're broken into groups), and we did a read-through today. It'll be interesting to see how their performances go tomorrow. However, I was pleasantly surprised by a few of my "lower" kids' reading!! Some of them really got into their characters (imagine a shy girl shouting out lines in a good Southern accent and a boy who "hates" reading passionately crying out his lines with hand motions). It was really cool at some points. However, the kids who weren't reading at any given time felt it unnecessary to pay attention or at least be quiet. I had to continually stop, redirecting my noisy little monsters.

In the afternoon, a mother came in to help out with a social studies lesson. I did what *should've* been a cool lesson on explorers. I did it during my student teaching (5th grade), and the kids loved it. I learned today that the material was a bit too intense for most of my 4th graders. Live and learn, right? The kids were just out of control, so I had to have them work absolutely silently for a while. Even the mother commented to me, "They're different kids here. This is a rough area." I couldn't help but nod enthusiastically in agreement. Oy. I'll grade their papers either tonight or tomorrow, and see how they did. We were *supposed* to play a game as a culminating activity, but the kids were just too loud. It sucks. And I can't help but think it's me failing at maintaining order in the classroom. So many of the other teachers blame the kids, the parents, and the area, but I tend to take it pretty personally. I feel like an effective teacher a.) presents good enough lessons to maintain a lot of control in the class, and b.) is able to keep the kids relatively quiet and on task for the majority of the day. I feel like I do neither, but that there should be a way to do it. Arg.

The day ended with NO recess because it took the kids forever to clean up the classroom and stand silently at their desks. Grrr... I also had to tutor after school. SO not worth the $20, but oh, well. I usually work with grades 4-6, as I have material for this age group. However, due to scheduling issues, I worked with the kids in grades 1-3 today. They were SO impatient!! Every few minutes, one of them would ask, "Is it time for us to go home yet??" :P We even played a game for the first 20 minutes, but one boy kept running around the classroom. Awesome. Finally, when the time was up, I walked them over to the other building to wait for the activity bus. The activity bus showed up 30 minutes later. Yuck!! I waited with another teacher, supervising 15ish kids who were wound up from the day. When the bus FINALLY came, I felt like taking a 3-day nap. However, there was still PTO-related work to do, and now I need to wrap up in the classroom before heading home.

In other news, my little sis will be here in 2 days!! :) She's coming to visit for a week for her spring break. I'm pysched!! I'm even more excited because we have TWO field trips next week (which the sis is unvoluntarily chaperoning!), AND I have a conference on Monday. All said and done, I'll only be in the classroom 2 and a half days next week. Pretty sweet. Then it's spring break!! Two of the other newbies and I are finalizing our Vegas plans, so it'll be awesome.

Tomorrow is the culmination of "Read Across America" week. To "celebrate," we're letting the kids dress up as characters from their favorite books. The other 5th grade teacher will be going as Mrs. Nelson from the series about the nasty substitute. It'll be awesome. I'll see if I can pull something together. Also, in the afternoon, we'll have a schoolwide parade on the playground with posters and books and costumes. The local newspaper may be coming to document the insanity. Finally, we'll be both performing and watching readers' theatre with other classes in the afternoon. I can already tell that tomorrow will be CRAZY. Wish us luck!

For now, time to wrap up and go home to clean! Peace!

P.S. Some food for thought... I was on The Hunger Site today, and there was a provocative quote on it... "Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we do about living." - Omar N. Bradley

Amen, brother.

"Hump day," indeed!

2007-02-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

So today wasn't awful, but it wasn't awesome, either. This morning (as usual), I was feeling jaded and not so into the whole teaching thing. However, once I got back into "the groove," it was fine (as usual). At 10am, I was supposed to have my second formal eval. of the year by the principal. I was reviewing last night's reading homework with the class, waiting for the principal to come in. And waiting. And waiting. Finally, at almost 10:30, I called the office to see if she was, in fact, coming. I was informed that the principal was meeting with two irate parents, and that an intense argument was ensuing. The principal ultimately rolled in at nearly 11, which was fine; we were rocking a pretty good reading activity.

My observation actually went freakishly well. First, the guidance counselor (who I like more as time goes on) offered to pull out my two biggest "troublemakers," and I gladly took him up on it. It really helped. Second, the activities we were doing ("popcorn" reading, re-reading selections with inflection, discussing vocabulary and meaning, etc.) are ones we do every week, so the kids knew the format. I actually ended up tying a LOT back to the daily learning objectives I have posted on one of the whiteboards. Shocking. I walked around the room (as I usually do during reading) to ensure engagement by each student. The kids were well-behaved because I told them the half-truth that the principal was coming to watch *them*. Did I lie? I like to think not. :) At the end of her time in the classroom, the principal gave my class a brief lecture about how there is to be NO dating of ANY sort and no fighting. Schweet. Bases covered. I debriefed with her at lunch, and she gave me a glowing evaluation. Pretty schweet.

After lunch went pretty quickly. We're starting an explorers unit in Social Studies, to help give the children the background on our country. Of course, it's also in the state standards. I gave the children excerpts from a book that is far better than their U.S. History book the school provides. I tried to do the lesson in whole-group format, but the kids were just too rowdy. They ended up reading the material on their own, then taking a quiz on it. Not my preferred way to delier a lesson, but the usual manner was inefficient. Yucky. The day ended with a brief video on Christopher Columbus (which was OK), a writing assignment with it, then more poetry instruction. The kids will have completed poetry portfolios by the end of next week, which should be pretty cool.

Friday may be a disaster. We're having a "Literacy Parade" to celebrate authors and books. That means that EVERY class from K-8 in the school will be marching outside, in storybook character costumes, and having the local press ooh and ahh. Marvelous. After that, the principal insisted that we do a "readers' theatre" for other classes, so that's a pain to prepare. It sounds like it'll be a looooooooong afternoon, but we shall survive!

OK, time to grade papers, lesson plan a bit, go run errands, then crash out early. Peace!

tuesday!!

2007-02-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

briefly, then I'm out:

Today didn't go as quickly as it might have otherwise. This was probably due to the fact that my most troublesome student was back in class today. I think he's a good kid (with really, really crappy parents), but he is obnoxious, loud, and rude. Gotta love it.

Anyway, we got quite a bit done today, too. Not too shabby. Tomorrow is my second "official" observation/evaluation by the principal, and I'm actually not the least bit concerned about it. Of course, the psycho teacher next door completely freaked out about hers, but when all's said and done, our evaluations really don't amount to anything. (Good thing they do 'em, right?) I guess it is good to have another set of eyes in the class, though, to give me helpful tips.

Hmm... I just spoke with two more parents tonight. For as poor and ill-educated as parents generally are around here, they really do care about their children. I think nearly EVERY student in my class has at least one parent who genuinely cares about his/her child's progress and development. I'm astounded. I also happen to have a rather smart class; I had 9 students tested for gifted services, and 8 qualified. That's almost a third of my class! Pretty sweet.

I suppose that's it for now. Time to get out of here & actually be social! Ciao!

Triage

2007-02-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

Before I explain today's title, let me *first* say how I knew it was Monday today...

So it was about 6:34am. I usually hit the "snooze" button about 4 or 5 times until I actually get out of bed on school days, as it's soooo hard to leave the warm, comfy goodness of my bed. Ahem. So I had just hit "snooze" again, telling myself, You'll get up on the next one. Seriously. Well, that's not what Monday had in store for me. Lately, both of my cats have been sleeping on the bed with me, and it's so cute. Today wasn't the slightest bit cute. Mouschi, the calmer of the two, was curled up right next to me, sleeping away. Sixer, the rambunctious one, pounced on Mouschi, but ended up clawing me in the face in the process! "Ow!!," I'd exclaimed, feeling blood ooze from my lip. I got up, giving Monday the finger in my head, and checked the damage in the mirror. There it was: a split bottom lip and a little gash on the left cheek. Nice, Sixer, nice. And thus began my Monday.

It's extremely hard coming back to school after a weekend, and today was no exception. I even did a little job hunting this morning before the kids got here. Anyway, I was kinda glum until the day really began. For some reason, the very same students who drive me crazy also keep me sane. We're kind of in our own little world in the classroom- a mini society, as it were- and I am able to immediately forget all my outside problems and concerns.

Anyway, the day went surprisingly well. I threw a lot at them today: faster-than-normal-paced math, more homework (and time to do it), a poetry unit, a quick science lesson, writing, reading, etc. I went at a much quicker clip today, and a lot of the kids seemed to appreciate it. I think today's pace is probably about the norm for veteran teachers, but I can't keep up with it just yet. I did not have to yell once today. Not once! It was awesome. It was also possibly due to the fact that the kid who usually stirs up the whole class was absent today.

In other news, I saw "Bridge to Terabithia" this weekend. Excellent movie, and it was especially interesting when I watched it as a teacher. There were moments when, horrified, I'd think, "My God, those are my kids in this!" Craziness. However, the movie prompted today's journal entry: "Describe a world completely of your own designing. What would happen that can't normally? What would you do? What would everything look like?" and so forth.

Finally, spring break plans are in: it's over to Vegas with some of the other newbies! Should be a blast. Also, my little sister gets here on Saturday, and I'm super-stoked for her & the kids to meet each other! Should be a treat.

Ok, that's all for now. I'm actually *prepared* for this week, so I'm gonna head home, plan a teeeny bit, then relax. Ciao!

P.S. Ha!!! I never explained the title! (It's later, looking back at my post.) Anyway, we had a "grade level" (really: grades 4-6)meeting after school today. As if we're not bogged down with enough stuff, the principal wants us to do all this progress monitoring stuff on top. Long story, lotsa work. Anwyay, she said that it's important to be working "triage" with our kids; that is, help the ones who are "borderline," ignoring for a moment the really "high" and really "low" students. From what she said, we kind of are giving up on our failing students and focusing on the middle- to top-range ones. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it *is* extraordinarily difficult to work with students who choose not to do the work. Any thoughts?

tell me on a sunday, please...

2007-02-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

(It's the only title I could think of that had "Sunday" in it. If you don't know the tune, it's an Andrew Lloyd Weber piece.)

Yes, faithful readers, I greet you from my classroom on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I had every intention of coming in here today, getting ALL my work done for the coming week, and being awesomely productive. However, I've now been puttzing around on the computer for half an hour, and I'm meeting a friend for lunch in 30 minutes. Not as productive as I'd hoped. On the upside, though, I did spend 6 hours here yesterday getting stuff done. Turns out there's no better cure for a heartbreak than physical activity (I'm getting my arms in shape, finally) and a bunch of hard work! :)

Also, as my luck would go, I realized that the science lessons I did last week are NOT in the 4th or 5th grade state standards. Grrr... We're doing a human body unit (which the kids really dig), and we covered the skeletal system last month. Now, intertwined with other things, we're doing a unit on the organ systems. We did the respiratory system last week, and I just checked to see what standards I'd covered. NONE. Grrrr... so I'll have to make the body unit a little shorter to make room for whatever else I have to teach.

Anyway, I shall now try to be productive for the next 20 minutes before I leave. Peace!

ah, yes...

2007-02-22T16:21:00.001-07:00

...so sometimes my job cheers me up. I walked into school today sick, jaded, and generally in a bad mood. Yucky. I thought, "I reeeeeeeeeeeeally'd rather not be here." However, I remember how dull yesterday was, just sitting around all day, sick. It sucked. I figured that once the day got rollin', I'd be set.

I was right.

This morning, I was flooded with hugs and, "I missed you!!"s and "Where WERE you?"s and "I'm sooo glad you're back!" ... And the kids were happy, too. ;) It's always kind of an ego boost coming back after a sub; I felt like a celebrity. However, I was NOT in the mood to be messed with, so I was a little bit bitchy with the kids. It's so weird, though... they *like* when I get all nasty and take charge. It actually makes the days run much more smoothly. Weirdos.

The other 5th grade teacher was out today, so I had both the 4th and 5th graders with me for math. I actually prefer that, because then I can do things at my own pace, instead of being constrained by the time of the other teacher. My fourth graders got REALLY into math today- it was awesome. We were ordering and comparing fractions and decimals today, so it was kind of a slow start, but once they got into it, MAN, they were yelling enthusiastically about math! Again, one of my "troublemakers" gets so into math. It's really a cool time.

Later, I prepped the class for their cloze spelling test tomorrow... We'll see how it goes. None of us have ever done one before (for real; last week's was a practice). Keep your fingers crossed.

It was actually nice being at school today, because I was on my toes the whole time. It seems (and I think you'll agree, casual reader) that time goes by MUCH faster when you're busy! There's no time to sulk or feel sorry for yourself when you're running in 340 different directions.

Ahem. Science was pretty cool, too. I'm surprised by how much I know about the body and chemistry. We were talking about the respiratory system today, and the kids fired ALL these cool questions my way. (e.g, "Can we live off of carbon dioxide alone?", "What's the difference between oxygen and carbon dioxide?", "What do aveoli do?", "What's the difference between choking and suffocating?") I love when they *care* about stuff. I even kind of branched off into a brief chemistry lesson (explaining how hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon atoms all bond to each other, and what charges the molecules will carry after bonding). The kids were fascinated. Swoon.

We had an impromptu fire drill today (and were already fortunately outside for another program), and the kids were a bit chatty. I came down on them pretty hard, and said that it was a bit "iffy" if we'd have end-of-the-day recess or not. It was all up to the class meeting and how they did in it.

For the class meeting today, I tried something a teacher did with us in middle school: I used a koosh. Whoever had the koosh could talk, and NO one else. On the board, I wrote "Recess" with two columns under it: "Yes" and "No." Every time someone who didn't have the koosh talked, I'd explained, I'd put a tally under the "No" column. Every time someone was able to finish talking uninterrupted, I'd put a mark under "Yes." It worked well, and the kids got really into it.

I think our meetings are actually accomplishing something. It's so amazing what the students pick up from each other and their interactions. When someone expresses a concern with another student, we have a process to go through (in an older August entry). At the end, the person with the concern watches the other person for the week and reports to me if the problem got better or not. So the kids have an amazing ability to recall these events. I frequently hear things like, "At last week's meeting, I had a concern with so-and-so because s/he did ______. So-and-so has gotten better, and the problem's gone!" Three people said this today, which means that something's working, at least.

In the end, we were able to go out to recess. Ah. It was gorgeous out today: high 60s and sunny. I had a lovely chat with some of my girls, and then a student came running up to me, eyes wide. "I saw Mara* and James* kiss on the lips!!!" (*Names have been changed.) "What?!" I'd asked, awed. I walked over to Mara and James, a trail of eager students behind me. "Disperse!" I had commanded them except for my two lovebirds. Apparently (I'm out of the 10-year-old loop), Mara and James have been "boyfriend/girlfriend" all week. I told them that, while they're at school, there is no kissing on the lips. I said they're setting a bad example for the kindergarteners, who will then want to kiss. I must call their parents in a few minutes to discuss all this. Oy. I didn't have *my* first kiss 'til 8th grade!! Mara is in 4th! She had also passed a note today saying, "Did you french kiss?" Egads. Gotta keep these guys in check.

Anyway, all in all it was a decent day. I was stern (and sometimes just no-nonsense) with the kids, but it felt fine. Hopefully tomorrow'll be good, and then I can relax for another few days! :)

Ciao for now. Take care.

sick again

2007-02-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

so i've been extremely sick the past few days... NOT enjoyable. even with dayquil, my old friend, it's still a crappy time. on top of the illness (that's been going on for a week and a half now), my beau decided he didn't want a relationship. awesome. our break-up started last wednesday, on valentine's day, and continued through the weekend. additionally, my car died two days ago, so i spent $500 fixing the stupid thing.

if i had had an office job, i probably would've been able to make it today.

if i only had to deal with ONE of the above problems, i probably would've been able to make it today.

however, neither of the above cases hold, so i took (another) sick day. (i was out yesterday for the same reasons, plus i was stuck in another city because of my car.)

i'm really not sure where i'll be 6 months from now. as usual, i'm debating the teaching thing. my principal, who's now on her 4th career, told me that when she was fresh out of college, she was nowhere near ready to teach. she said she needed to do some other things first, to mature, and then she was a classroom teacher for almost 15 years. inspirational. i, however, have NO clue what to do at this point in time. i'm obviously staying with my class for the remainder of the year (just a tad bit over 3 months left in the year). considering all that i've been through this year, i'd say that's progress.

anyway, i don't mean to be a downer, but i thought i'd check in with y'all and let you know why your favorite first-year teacher has been slacking on the writings lately. i hope you're doing well, and that your professional and personal lives are exactly where you want them to be.

hot & cold

2007-02-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

So sometimes I really despise this job, and other times I really adore it. Today, I actually like it. Even though I'm quite sick at the moment (nasty cough, fever, cold, etc.), I'm in a relatively good mood. Out of bed a little late this morning, I said, "It's gonna be a good day." And it was!

We started with the Student of the Month (S.O.M.) assembly this morning. As I have both 4th and 5th graders in my class, I like to choose one from each grade for this monthly assembly. I also had a band S.O.M., which was nice. All three of my S.O.M.s' parents showed up, making all of the winners extremely happy. The assembly went well, and my kids were pretty well behaved.

After the assembly, we had a 10-minute review of homework, which was writing 10 sentences (using the words "its," "their," "they're," "too," and so forth). I still have A LOT of work to do with my students, but I suppose they're a little better off than at the beginning of the year. A hard thing for a first-year teacher to understand is that she will NOT be able to make every student perform perfectly on everything. I'm slowly coming to grips with this fact, but it's excruciating.

After the assembly, the class had library and computer, and I was actually productive during this prep time! (I graded, prepped a lot, and got almost everything done for my morning stuff!)

We then had our first-ever cloze (yes, it's spelled correctlly) reading test, where students filled in a story's blanks with words I read. According to a spelling seminar I'd attended on Monday, it's far better to use cloze tests than the traditional word-list-on-Monday, spelling-test-on-Friday format. (This spelling program insists that our usual way of doing spelling is ineffective because it only tests short-term memory, and leaves long-term memory and writing transfer by the wayside. I can't help but agree.) We'll see how this thing works out long-term.

I then had the kids journal again, this time about what kind of job they'd like to do (I left it reaaaaaaaaaaaally open), and why. I'm excited to read their responses. The vast majority of them really like journaling, and I like reading what they write, so I think it's a good thing. We're starting to fine-tune everything, too, via the 6 Traits philosophy. This week, we focused on conventions, and next week we'll probably be focusing on word choice. Score.

We are also working on a class newspaper. The project was kind of thrown out from before, since I'd misplaced many of the students' work. (I recovered it last night, luckily!) This time around, I'm letting each student choose what s/he wants to write about, which has the students more engaged in the project.

Before lunch, we had math, which I still enjoy teaching. Today was a bit like pulling teeth, though, and I got a little frustrated with the class. I just wished they'd work with me, even when we're not doing the most interesting of things, and take some stock in their education. Bleh. At one point, I was so fed-up with the lack of effort/participation that I took the book I was teaching with and smacked it against my forehead in exasperation! :P

Lunch and recess were a welcome break, and I ate lunch with some other teachers in the library. (It's a big hub of activity, by the way.)

I allowed students to do make-up work after lunch, filling in any gaps in the grade book. A lot of them worked really hard, so that was nice. We then had reading buddies with one of the 2nd grade classes (the teacher's a newbie and a friend of mine), so that was some nice academic time for the kids and down time for the teachers. Beautiful!

At the end of the day, we had our weekly class meeting, which went ok. The kids are getting better at listening to each other, and maybe it's because I've been stricter with them on that lately. It's just SO hard for them to stop talking for some reason. They talk over me, over each other, over pretty much anything. It's frustrating and annoying, but they're improving just a bit. Of course, I don't tell them this often, because then they'd begin to slip again.

We did a quick clean-up, then raffle, and that was the day. We spent the last 30 minutes of the day outside, as the class chose to use their EFT (earned free time) with recess today. During EFT, I met with one of my "problem" students (who's actually a "secret favorite" of mine), and had a big talk with him. From the conversation, I learned: he DOES like school (he admitted it!!!); he's interested in math, science, and writing (woo hooo!); he cares about how he does in class (makes things MUCH easier!); he's worried about his future. All of these characteristics make for a good student, I think. The only problem is, I don't think he realizes how awesome he is. He's so used to getting in trouble with other teachers that he now lives up to *that* role. I think, though, that I've won him over, since I see his potential. He's actually been very helpful in the class this week, and I hope that he'll continue that behavior.

Finally, one of my darling little Spanish-speakers came over to me during recess/EFT. "Podemos leer en español?" ("Can we read in Spanish?") "Claro que si," ("Of course!") I'd replied. We read part of a book I had in the classroom, and a flock of interested girls soon formed. A lot of the students LOVE hearing Spanish, and for some reason, they're all geeked out that I can speak, write, and read in the language. So my little Spanish-speaker and I tried to teach our little group a bit of Spanish. It was very enjoyable.

All in all, a good day. Hopefully, next week will be just as good, though I'm not so sure. In a few weeks, my little (21-year-old) sister will be here for 7 days to visit. You BET that I'll be putting her to work in the classroom! :) I'm gonna have to build up her arrival so that the class is extra good when she's here. Ok, that's all for now. Three day weekend, here I come!!

Time to go home...

2007-02-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

Oy, what a day. First, my Valentine's Day celebration after school totally bombed. :( Seems my love life is perhaps on its way out. Since yesterday was pretty crappy in the personal life department, I was in a pretty crappy mood at school this morning.

Ahem.

Anyway, the day didn't go as fast as I'd hoped. The kids had an extra recess this morning to make up for their lost P.E. time today (due to the county spelling bee, which our school hosted). I took my class to the bee once in the morning (for almost an hour! Oops.) and once in the afternoon (for about 45 minutes). Am I lazy? Perhaps. Am I exhausted and overwhelmed? Definitely. Thus, I gave us *all* a little break by observing the bee. (I let the students bring books and papers and allowed very quiet whispering, so they were pretty good during the whole thing.)

Sigh. Sorry for the "blah" entry, but that's how I'm feeling. I'm actually going home before dark (!!), but I still need to: grade, plan out my next few units, figure out crap, and get to sleep early. Hopefully tomorrow (T.G.I.F.) will be better. Ciao!

Happy V-Day!! :)

2007-02-14T16:41:00.000-07:00

To all of you cynics: Happy day to celebrate love! :)

For our in-school celebration, we had an inservice. Not too shabby, actually. However, I've come to realize something:

This- my first year of teaching- won't (and can't) be perfect. There is SOOO much I want to do, but not nearly enough time. (Also, I don't know *how* to do a lot of stuff I want to do.) At times, I get pretty overwhelmed by all that I'm NOT doing. Then I cut myself some slack and realize that I don't think there's actually enough time in the day to do all that I want to. Then I panic, because I think that maybe, if I stop "slacking" and start working more (read: stay at school MORE than the 10-12 hours I already put in daily), I'll get more done. Who knows?

On a good note, the Southwestern Rotary eClub (they're online only) has offered to donate 150 dictionaries to the kids at our school!! :) Next month, all kids grades 3-5 at our school will receive a free dictionary!! I love people sometimes.

Also, I have a bit of trivia for you: Did you know that teachers don't make very much at all??!? After I figured in all the actual time I put in (not just when I'm teaching), I make about $13/hour? I could *temp* for more than that! Just a thought.

Anyway, I'm off to enjoy this V-day with my very own valentine! (I had the class all make him cards yesterday; they're hilarious!) Have a good one, all!

PTO secretary extraordinaire...

2007-02-13T19:22:00.000-07:00

That's me!! I'm *officially* PTO secretary now!!

Briefly:

-came into school today (in a quite yucky mood) and learned that my classroom had been vandalized. ?!?!? Apprarently, at lunch yesterday (when I had a sub), someone came into the room and doused everyone's books and desks with water. Also, a few desks were flipped over and nasty notes were written on the wall. :(

-today was our "non-Valentine's-Day-party," since we were not to have parties (per the principal). The end of the day was ok, with sugar and hearts galore.

Man, I'm so exhausted, my eyes can't even focus on the computer screen. Luckily, we have an in-service tomorrow, so I don't have to worry about policing any kids! :)

Ok, time to type up tonight's PTO meeting minutes and be on my way. Good night!

Reaaaaally quick...

2007-02-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

Today was good, overall. Two of the boys I'd ousted from the trip didn't know it until this morning. (One's family doesn't have a phone, and the other's mom didn't tell him!!!) So the sub had 2 angry boys. (The third boy stayed home.)

Field trip: good & interesting. A nice time was had by all! (It actually all went surprisingly well!)

After school: came back to learn that the school had had a REAL lockdown today! According to the bulletin the principal had written, "Our school experienced a 'LOCK DOWN' today at 12:15pm. A suspicous person was seen in the vicinity with what turned out to be a BB Rifle..." etc. Numerous spelling/grammatical errors (aside from the two evident here) irked me, but I'm glad that it wasn't anything too serious. Another newbie talked to me after school and said the lockdown only lasted 10 minutes. Not too terrible.

Anyway, must leave sub notes (I'm going to another conference on Monday... muwahhaha!), and then I'm out! Ciao!

A much-needed break!!!

2007-02-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

Today was, for me, a pretty good day. We had the 5th grade field trip, which went probably as well as possible. The kids were loud on the bus (which is to be expected), but the field trip itself was very well organized and interesting. The kids were actually really, really good during the whole thing (even though we were only at the heart center for 2 hours). During the bus rides, I was able to polish off quite a bit of Stephen King's new book, Cell. It was a nice trip.

When we arrived back at school, reality hit. My sub, a woman who I esteem pretty highly, said my kids were awful today. Awful! Excerpts from her note:

"...as I said, Bad Bad day."

"Heads down for 15 min after lunch"

"many in class extreamly [sic] mean to guest student..."

"I could go on, but I'm gonna leave it there"

Yuck!!! Even some of my usual "angels" were cruel and crazy today. One girl who is usually shy and quiet got sent out of the room for 10 minutes! Unbelievable.

Anyway, after said nasty report from the sub, I went on to tutor the 4 students I work with once a week who are extremely low in reading. It went pretty well (and quickly, for once!!), and I was actually energized afterwards. It's SOOOO nice to put in a full day and NOT feel completely drained at the end of it. I feel good right now, despite the awful report from my sub.

Also, I asked the sub to leave me names of perpetrators (sp?). She gave me 3 "problem students" and "to a lesser extent" names. I called the parents of the "problem students," and discussed the matter with them. All the parents backed me, and those 3 will not be joining us tomorrow. Ha. (I did one of the calls en español, thankyouverymuch!)

Anyway, that means tomorrow I have 10 kids, 4 chaperones, and me! That's a 1:2 adult:student ratio!! Unbelievable!! :) The other 4th grade teacher (I call her "Crazy McCrazy Chore") and I were planning to join our classes together for this field trip. However, as it's all fallen apart as a result of her planning it (and not me), I've decided to keep our classes separate. Tomorrow should be awesome on my part... I'm excited! We're going to see two cool movies (an IMAX one and a planetarium one), and there are TONS of hands-on activities and explorations for the kids! I think it'll be a cool day.

Also, as an aside, we have 2 really hard working custodians here at the school who are getting a raw deal. They each labor to their potential every day (even staying over their time unpaid, as I do), and are only working 6.5 hours. This is the most they can work without receiving district-paid benefits. Go figure. I guess there's a huge pool of applicants, too, who would take the benefitless job in a heartbeat, so these people have to work EXTRA hard for a low wage. Sometimes I really abhor capitalism. One of the custodians was telling me tonight that her twin brother had a heart attack last night. They air-vacced him to a neighboring city (we're in the middle of nowhere), and he had some tests run. They then tried to transport him to a nearby city, but his insurance wouldn't cover the doctor's costs. This man works in our little town also with no benefits, but somehow makes *too much* to get on the state-paid healthcare plan. ARG!!! What the heck??? I can't stand it when hardworking people get the raw end of the deal. This must change!! (Not to mention that my own healthcare plan sucks; I have a $2,500 deductible. Awesome.)

Grr... Ok, social commentary aside, I suppose I'm grateful for a lot. It's nice to have good days and feel like I did all I could do as an educator and as a person. That's all for now. Good night!

Le sigh.

2007-02-07T16:24:00.000-07:00

Today, a "short" day by definition (the kids got out an hour early), felt EXTREMELY long. My 4th graders got tested this morning for the aforementioned NAEP. Apparently, they were polite and nice with the test proctors, and the principal came in to specifically praise the class. Cool. She had also popped in earlier to informally observe the class/me for about 10 minutes. Fortunately, we were in the middle of a math lesson, and I've found that I really enjoy teaching math. It's just nice to see that the kids are learning something instantly. It's harder to tell with all the other subjects.

Anyway, the morning was ok overall. Not spectacular, but not awful. I do feel my patience wearing thin at times, though... I actually surprised myself (unpleasantly) today. I had said several times, "Real quick, class, eyes on me, voices quiet." (I usually say stuff like this before beginning a new lesson or switching subjects.) About half the class was following directions, so I raised my voice and repeated the directions. Finally, after another TWO MINUTES of about 8 students not listening, I got fed up. I yelled, "Show me you all can follow fricking directions!!!" As soon as it came out of my mouth, I regretted it. The stunned silence of the kids reinforced that this was, in fact, a bad point I'd let myself approach.

I try to be nice! I touch this bell in my room and raise my hand to quiet the class, I ask politely, I redirect negative responses and behaviors, I repeat myself numerous times... and I can't help but think it boils down to disrespect. I think I've really, truly earned about 2/3 of the class's respect. Even one of my "troublemakers" now helps me enforce rules and I think I've won him over. However, I still have that pesky 1/3 of the class who fight me on EVERYTHING and often refuse to follow directions or do their work. Ugh!!! They know there are consequences, they know that I get angry, they know that they're getting in trouble... and they don't care. It's SOOO frustrating.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the point at hand: disrespect. I was watching season two of The Office last night. For those of you who haven't seen/heard about it, it is a "mockumentary" about an office of workers with a ridiculously "off" boss. The boss, despite his good intentions, is completely disrespected by his employees because he is annoying and inappropriate all the time. I wonder if, sometimes, my kids are nice to me just to my face, but really don't respect me behind my back. I dunno.

I also got to thinking about my high school band director, Mr. Sanford. I have a great deal of respect for that man, one, because he is a high school band director, and two, because his bands do extremely well in competitions and in performing. However, during our band practices all through high school, I remember how out of control we high schoolers were. Mr. Sanford, a wonderful person at heart, would almost ALWAYS yell and raise his voice every day, due to the impossible task of attempting to congregate 150 high school students into a decent band. And I got to thinking... *I* have been yelling and raising my voice a lot lately, though I really don't like to. I can't tell if this makes me (and Mr. Sanford) somewhat ineffective and/or inefficient, since we don't seem to have good control over our students. Sigh. What are the alternatives? As I see it right now, it's either yell/raise my voice or have the kids police each other (which I'd tried, but it really frustrates all of us even more). I'm happy to take suggestions.

Hmmm... Anyway, we had a SUCKY after-school meeting today. It was dull and monotonous and an immense waste of an hour. :( Then a thought chilled me: Is that *my* class??! Are my kids acting out because they're bored and perceive their time in my class an immense waste of time? This put me in a bit of a funk.

SO: How to make the class enjoyable AND productive AND respectful???? I want to do it all perfectly, and I don't know how, and everyone has different philosophies, and I'm just kinda having a teacher-crisis at the moment.

To make matters worse, we have 2 field trips the next 2 days. Tomorrow, I voyage with the 5th graders to a heart museum. Hopefully it'll be cool; I have no idea what we'll be doing, since I piggy-backed on the other 5th grade teacher's field trip. Must organize trip before trip occurs... Bleh. AND my 4th grade field trip on Friday, since I left it to the other 4th grade teacher to orchestrate, has fallen apart. It's a HUGE mess, and it's in 2 days, and I have to answer to all these parents now...

Forgive me. I'm just freaking out a little bit, and I want to go home and forget it and relax, but I can't because the trips are the next 2 days, AND I have to do sub plans for them. EPROIU@#IO@U$PO@#U$OIPIOUOIEFU... Ok. I'll be calmer next time I write, hopefully. Thank you for reading. Ciao!

99 Red Balloons...

2007-02-06T18:43:00.000-07:00

... or something. This is my 99th post, so the title felt appropriate. Plus we had a party today, so it fits.

Sooo, today was pretty decent. This job is so fricking bipolar, I can't stand it sometimes! I think I'm finally starting to see that some of the kids are getting *something* out of being here. I keep wondering to what extent I'm responsible for the students' growth, maturity, and self-discipline. For now, I'm resolved to doing the best I possibly can, and letting everything else go.

Another issue: patriotism. I have opted to NOT say the Pledge of Allegiance the past 2 weeks. The kids haven't really noticed (since I stand in the back of the room at that time), and I don't really want to make a big deal about it, but I'll let them know what's up if they ask. Why I'm not saying it: I broke it down, line by line, and here are my reactions:

-I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America (I don't.)
-And to the Republic for which it stands (absolutely not)
-One Nation under God (oh, really? Whose God?)
-Indivisible (have you seen our 2000 and 2004 election results???)
-with Liberty and Justice for all (umm... how do you figure??)

So I'd explain it more professionally to my students, but that's that.

Next topic: Journaling. I'm soooo proud of my kids' writing abilities. A lot of them aren't great at conventions (grammar, spelling, etc.), but the IDEAS are there, and they're powerful and great. Some recent excerpts (mistakes included):

[about traveling to any point in history:] "If i could go in a time machine, to any point in time, I would choose the time in October before halloween to stop my dad from going to Jail so my family don't have to go throw what we are now so now I will do anything to save my family I've been want to do anything for them since I was a baby..." (wow.)

[about living in a world where YOU create all the rules:] "If I lived in a world where I made up the rules the only rule would be that there are no rules. Even thow that doesnt make sence thats the only rule. There would be only that rule because I want to have a fun world for once with no rules and everyone would love me because they could do what ever tehy wanted and wouldnt that be awesome."

[about being stuck on a deserted island for 10 years where they could have one food and one drink item with them:] "My drink item will be a water tree, but in winter, when my water tree is sleeping, I will drink sea water."

So we're getting some really amazing things out of these kids. We're working on conventions, but that's really secondary to their ideas. (I can't believe I, the Grammar Queen, am writing that!!)

Anyway, on a positive note, I've been collecting items/money like crazy from neighborhood businesses and individuals; I can't believe it! Our local Habitat for Humanity has offered to donate 6 computer to local families who couldn't otherwise afford them. I made the phone calls to the families tonight to set up arrangements for the pick ups, and one woman was so happy she cried!! She said, "This is just such a blessing!!" It was awesome. It really made the whole effort worthwhile.

Tomorrow's a short day (luckily!!), then we have field trips Thursday & Friday!! :) Should be a mellow week. That's all for now. Peace.

Me vs. February

2007-02-05T16:12:00.000-07:00

So it's finally happened... I am officially sick. What started out as a cough and sore throat last night has developed into a smorgasboard (sp?) of symptoms. Yuck. What's worse: this is an "easy" week... here's how:

Tuesday: 2 specials (woo hoo!)
Wednesday: my 4th graders will be gone ALL morning to take the NAEPA test, leaving me with just about 13 students.
Thursday: field trip with the 5th graders (half my class)
Friday: field trip with the 4th graders (half again)

Sooo... it should be simple. However, I feel like complete and utter crap. In fact, I'm going to go home soon (early for me!!!), get some rest, and try to prepare for the rest of the week.

All in all, today was a pretty decent one. The kids are in their second week of journaling, and I'm overall impressed with their writing. I have three or four REALLY talented writers, and I'm constantly amazed by their abilities. I think we're all FINALLY starting to find a balance as a class.

I discussed NCLB with the class, figuring they have the right to know WHY they're taking the stupid AIMS (standardized) tests in April. I also showed them my book of state standards, and we had a really good discussion about schools, money, and academics. I'm really quite proud of them sometimes.

Hmm... What else? I'm still up-and-down on the never-ending roller coaster that is... teaching. I don't know if that'll ever change. However, I do find that I really like the vast majority of the class, and even my "trouble makers" are cool one-on-one. I still don't think I'm covering all my kids need to know, and I don't yet know how to do all that I need to do as a successful teacher. However, I'm very honest and real with my kids, and they know that. I fall behind on a lot of stuff, but I think the kids usually appreciate the honesty and support I try to give them.

I suppose that's it for now. Despite feeling crappy health-wise, I actually feel pretty decent teaching-wise. Peace.

3-day week

2007-02-01T18:29:00.000-07:00

So I've been fortunate to have only had 2 days of work this week (and tomorrow for a 3-day week). For some reason, I've been in a funk the past few days. Perhaps it's for some of the following reasons:

-I was informed yesterday that it is apparently illegal in Arizona for schools to participate in "gaming or gambling." So what, you ask? So that makes it difficult for us to have a silent auction/raffle, since these are considered "gaming." Grrrr. Turns out I have to now go through our newly-formed PTO (of which I will soon be the secretary) to hold such an event. Yuck. I did NOT want this to be PTO-sponsored; I wanted it to be solely through the school. Oh, well.

-My kids were little bitches on Monday. Yuck.

-My principal told me today that I've maxed out my professional leave days for the year. Whoops. I wasn't aware we had a quota. I can't complain, though; I've gone to 2 already in 2007, and I'm still going to 3 more. I just won't get approved above and beyond those.

-I've been talking with friends/the beau too much lately about depressing things (e.g., ALL the problems in the world & how much we *can't* do about them).

Anyway, I got to school yesterday and was greeted by the first thing listed above (about the gaming/gambling), and then a whole host of other crap. I felt the tears well up immediately, and realized I wouldn't be a good teacher that day. I asked for a sub (and actually got one!!), so I got to go home at 9:00. It was nice to be away again. (Tuesday I had gone to Phx with another teacher for the day to check out the science museum, where we'll be taking the 4th graders next week and the 5th graders in a month or two.)

Today wasn't too awful. I really felt like (emotional) crap this morning, but the day ended up pretty decent. The kids now have *positive* earned free time this week (last week they owed *me* 15 minutes on Friday!), so that was nice. They were actually pretty respectful and worked well today. I didn't have to yell much, which I always appreciate. We also had a decent class meeting, and they got an extra 10-minute recess this morning which helped us all IMMENSELY. I think I may do that more often (though the principal and super frown on it). Ha.

Tomorrow should be ok, though the nurse is taking ALL my girls for a 15-minute chat in the morning. Turns out two of my 4th grade gals are forcing themselves to throw up nearly every day... Um, BULIMIA in 4th grade? I'm more than a little disturbed. I hear the nurse is good at "putting the fear of God" into elementary school children, so I can't *wait* to hear how the talk goes.

Ok, that's it for now. Time to wrap up here (at school), then eat, sleep, come back, and repeat. Ciao!

yay for Friday!!!

2007-01-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

Real quick:

I'm getting less and less tolerant of the students' crap. Shit, even. Their shit. Their storming out and huffing off and yelling and running around the room and not doing *anything* in class and being jerks to me and to others. I've become Ms. Mean, and I don't feel bad about it. So there. (Actually, interestingly, the kids seem to do better when I am a bit meaner/stricter. I think it's what they're used to.)

Hmm... We did a skeleton-building thing today, and I had a mother in helping me. It went OK, but the kids were rowdy. We had a ranger in yesteday from Grand Canyon, and it was very similar (with my noisy group). I just need to find a way to unite my students' energy to a positive force, and we're set!

Anyway, I reeeeeeeeeally want to get home. (I calculated that I actually spend 50-60 hours *in school* each week. That doesn't count home prep/grading/planning time!) I'll be back tomorrow afternoon, though, so I'm not slacking! Peace.

(Oh, we're really rolling on the playground project!! Lots o' donations and money!)

Daaaaaaaaang, Tuesday!

2007-01-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was pretty much the day from hell. Ugh. I'm SO glad the internet was down yesterday, because my entry would've been little more than a pity/bitch fest. Yuck!!!

Today was MUCH better. Infinitely better, even. The kids were calmer (though they were still, of course, loud and somewhat annoying), and we got a lot of cool work done. The only downside: they're now -12 earned free time minutes, meaning they'll owe me that time Friday with heads down if they don't clean up their act. Ew.

Anyway, the literature circle thing today was AWESOME!! We're reading Hatchet by Gary Paulsen (even though I had to buy 6 more copies of it so we'd have a class set). I'm going to be reading the whole story aloud to them, and I started yesterday. Two pages into the book when I started yesterday, one kid said, "Dang, this book is boring!!" I wanted to smack him. They're so quick to be negative and judgemental. Bleh. Today, Chapter 2, was MUCH better. There was a captivated silence as I read- so much so that you could have heard a pin drop. I looove moments like that, when the whole class is with me. When I finished the chapter, I asked, "Who here is even a little bit interested in the story?" Every hand shot up, and a few kids yelled out, "A LOT interested!!" It was cool.

Equally awesome was the ensuing discussion. Before we started reading today, I prepped them on their first literature circle role: "Discussion Director." This role means taking some excerpts from the book and analyzing and/or asking questions. I told them that we're trying to move away from literal ("who," "where," etc. type of questions) and onto inferential/critical ("what would happen if..." or "was there ever a time in your life when..."). The discussion kicked ass. I had questions like, "Would the plane still have run out of gas if the pilot were alive, and if so, would the pilot have known what to do?" and, "Why does Brian keep repeating words like divorce or The Secret?" Beautiful!!

After that, I was to lead the beginning band's flute sectional. There were 4 girls with whom I worked, and we had a pretty good time. Turns out they know almost nothing about music. I helped them on fingering, note recognition, tone, and we even sort of did a B-flat concert scale. All in 30 minutes, thankyouverymuch. I even played 2 songs for them. At the end, one girl was like, "I want to be just like you! Famous and all." I laughed saying, "I'm not famous, my dear." The other girls chimed in, "Yes, you are!" Adorable.

The end of the day was pretty good... when we went out to recess, I had "the usual suspects" sitting out on a bench. Instead of having them sit there and do nothing, we brainstormed what would work better than their present course of action. They actually had a suggestion: make a stoplight-esque poster with each student's name on it (on something movable, like clothespins). Every day, each student starts at "green," and can move through the colors (from negative behavior) as the day progresses. Super- at least we're trying.

After school, amidst mountains of paperwork, I was invited to dinner with 2 of the other newbies. We went, then came back for the PTO (parent-teacher organization) meeting at 6. (And hence, I'm still here at 9pm.) It was a good meeting. The highlights:
-I got nominated as Secretary of the PTO, and I'll be running unopposed at the next meeting.
-I was able to share the playground project with the parents, who were also enthusiastic about the idea! (To date, we have nearly $2,000 in donations... in less than a week!!) I think this thing'll be HUGE!! :)

Also, I got an e-mail from a local community college saying that my application has been reviewed, and I am eligible to teach numerous classes. (I'd applied a few weeks ago to teach online courses to earn extra $$.) I may be making BANK in a few months... we'll see. :)

Anyway, these days are somewhat bipolar, but that means that it's not all bad! I just spent the past hour doing sub plans for tomorrow... If I were a sub, I'd want my plans. They're *that* good. Anyway, I'll be in Phoenix tomorrow for a conference... yay! A paid day off!

For now, I wrap up in the classroom, then go home (finally)! Peace out.

'Tis Friday ... [dies]

2007-01-19T18:01:00.000-07:00

Loooooooooooooooooong day!!

the morning was good (don't feel like using caps, sorry)... assembly went well; i had the kids do an ohio state cheer for the crowd (the "o-h" call and the "i-o" response)... the parents seemed to like it. :)

had spelling/vocab tests, then i told the class the GOOD news about the playground project that's already underway!

the kids were really loud, obnoxious, and annoying in math today. it felt like lunch would NEVER come... when lunch *did* come, though, i got yelled at AGAIN by the lunch lady (who's usually super cool with me)... we were like 4 minutes late, and she yelled at me/our class all at once. NOT a good feeling. i must figure out a.) how to get the kids to lunch on time and b.) what consequence there should be if *i* get yelled at when it's more of the class's fault than mine. gr...

the afternoon was ok... i'm stopping s.s.r. starting next week, in lieu of awesome literature circles. we'll see how it goes. we're starting by all reading hatchet by gary paulsen, and we'll examine it from a different role (e.g., vocab specialist, imagery finder, etc.) every few days until the kids understand the jobs they'll have in a lit. circle.

carpet remnants are here!! my "main squeeze" (a deputy) brought them in today, which rocked. they're really nice, and i think the kids will love them. :)

ummmm... i'm just really tired right now. this week (which was 4 days, mind you), i've spent a grand total of 45 hours at school and an additional few hours doing school stuff at home. i was super energized, but now i'm dead. time to head to flagstaff to see old friends & unwind for a bit. ciao!

Holy decent day, Batman!

2007-01-18T20:16:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! I typed this *awesome* blog, but stupid Blogger crashed on me!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrr.... I've learned my lesson: save, save, save!!!

Ahem.

Today was actually pretty cool. In a nutshell:
-It began by me asking a child, "Why are you throwing donuts at that boy?" Heh.

-Math was good: I had both the 4th and 5th grade classes, and taught half while the other half worked, then switched. It was mostly good. I really enjoy teaching math.

-The kids (and I!!!) are excited about our three upcoming field trips (a 4th grade one, a 5th grade one, and our Grand Canyon one).

-Had to babysit the crazy teacher next door... Ugh. She's like 5 years old sometimes, I swear.

-Did my first FBA (functional behavioral analysis) today. Lots o' work!

-Attended the jr. high basketball game for 20 minutes after school (as it was in the elementary school gym)... it was so cute! (Our team, as always, is about 1/3 the size of all the teams we play... yay for rural schools.)

-Got asked by the superintendant if I'd coach jr. high girls' basketball next year. Heh. Like I know *how* to coach.

-Both the principal and the super said they'd work with me by helping me move up to 5th grade with my 4th graders if I decide to stay next year. The principal said the superintendant was like a kid when he told her, "Beth's thinking about staying!!!"

-We had a pretty dang good class meeting today! There were the usual petty issues/conflicts, but a lot of students brought up school-wide issues. Of particular interest: "nasty" cafeteria food (I disagree) and a lack of playground equpiment. The latter issue piqued my interest, as the students really *don't* have much to do on the playground, which causes all sorts of problems (fights, restlessness, boredom, aggression, etc.).

-One girl had her b-day today, so we sang to her... en español. :) (She's bilingual, and was delighted that I taught the class how to sing to her in Spanish. It was cool!) She brought a cake in, and I dished out a piece to each student who was quiet and ready to leave at the end of the day. It was a nice wrap-up.

-Called around a few carpet places after school to see if anyone'd be willing to donate remnants to my classroom so the kids have something to sit on, should they work on the floor. The *second* place I called was happy to help!! They'll have 30 bordered remnants ready for me tomorrow afternoon!

-The above stroke of luck & generosity prompted me to rationalize, "Hmmm... I wonder how many other places would be so kind..." So I decided on the spur-of-the-moment to organize a fundraising activity (a whole-community silent auction) to get $$ for playground equipment!! I've sent a mass e-mail to more than 500 local organizations, businesses, and people. In less than 2 hours, I've received offers for the following donations:
**several $50 gift certificates
**an aromatherapy gift basket
**a restaurant gift certificate
**cash
**$100 personal donation
!!! Wow!!! I think this thing'll be HUGE!!! I can't WAIT to see what pours in the next few weeks!! A local newspaper has already offered to cover the whole effort FOR FREE!!! I'm so psyched, and I can't wait to tell my kids tomorrow! !:) I've also received several nice e-mails from people who are eager to help and are excited about the cause. :)

-Finally, tomorrow, we have our student of the month (S.O.M.) assembly. How awesome are my kids? Let me share some stats:
*2 S.O.M.s from my class (whom I chose, but oh, well)
*1 band S.O.M.
*5 perfect attendances
*4 Principal's List students
*11 Honor Roll students
*3 art S.O.M.s

I think I may actually cry (out of pride & joy) for my class at the assembly. Overall, I'm so proud of my kids. :)

On this crazily optimistic note, I leave you. I'm SOOOO psyched about these new projects!!!

She works hard for the "money"

2007-01-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hehe. I thought of that title last night in the shower... aren't I clever? :P

Anyway, today was OK. We got a fair amount of work done, I think. Man, I'm just tired... I've been here almost 11 hours so far today (and I was here 11 yesterday), and there's ALWAYS more to do.

Of note: Grand Canyon trip seems to be working out well, AND I got it pushed back a week! :) In a few weeks, I'm taking the 5th grade portion of my class to a schweet heart museum thingee, and the next day, I'm taking the 4th graders to a science museum where we *may* get to see the Body Worlds 3 exhibit!! :)

Also, our newspaper project is slowly coming along. I'm trying to get literature circles started (very slowly) next week, so we'll see how that goes.

After school today, we had a teachers' meeting in the computer lab. The purpose was to analyze assessment data we've been collecting since the beginning of the school year... Anyway, at one point, the superintendant actually said, "Take [the test scores] personally; they're your kids." Wowzas. No pressure there. Furthermore, the district is trying to get each class to bring 60% of its students up one level (of which there are only 3) before the end of the school year. Um... For my kids who are already at the top level, it's impossible to bring them up anymore! For the rest, 60% seems to be asking a lot. They tell us *what* we have to do, but they don't really help us with the *how*. In my superintendant's defense, though, he's just trying to do the best he can with the mess he's got, and I can't really fault him for that. I'm just trying to do the best *I* can, and I'm nowhere near my potential.

Hmph. I suppose I'll do a teeny bit more grading (to stay up on it), then I'm out. Peace!

Not a bad day!

2007-01-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

Today was actually a decent day (!!!!). I have recess morning duty all this week at 7:45am, which sucks, but after a cup of coffee, I am generally fine.

So I started Geometry with the 4th graders today. I actually really, really like teaching math that's not just facts/memorization. We did 2-D geometry today (lines, line segments, perpendicular lines, rays, etc.), which I think is too fun. The kids mostly enjoyed it, and I'm always happy when this one troublemaker gets really into the math. He had a good time today, so that helped.

During reading, I was giving our weekly spelling pre-test. Since it's a pre-test, I don't care if the kids whisper, so I told them they could whisper as long as they don't talk. It got too noisy, so I ultimately had to abolish the whole talking/whispering thing altogether. We came to the word "spray" in the test (they're working on the initial /spr/ sound this week), and I made up this dictation sentence for it: "If anyone talks during this pre-test, I will spray that person." Of COURSE, I had three students take me up on that. True to my word, I got my squirt bottle (usually reserved for overhead use) and sprayed those three students. I think you can guess what happened next: complete pandemonium. I was soon spraying everyone, realizing that my plan had backfired. Oh, well. We had a good laugh!

On the way to lunch, the last student in line called me over. When I approached him to see what he needed, he yelled, "REVENGE!!!" and proceeded to squirt me with his own water bottle. Ha. I couldn't help but crack up.

When the class was at lunch, I checked to see how many had finished their weekend assignment. Out of the 23 students present today, 10 (ten!!) turned in their work. Ten!! Since they had earned weekend homework from last week, their assignment was this:

In 200 words, describe what you can do to make our class a better one.

Simple enough, eh? I had girls in TEARS because they "didn't know" about the assignment or they weren't in the room when I assigned it. Too bad! I've had enough of the lack of responsibility from these kids. I'm cracking down, and I'm cracking down hard. Now that I'm getting a little more of teaching figured out, I'm now ready to start dealing with student accountability. Ha!

Later, science was a smashing success. We did a KWL chart about the skeletal system, the muscular system, and the internal organs in the human body. We only did the "K" part today, but the class was relatively engaged in the discussion. This is also the first time all year I've made a chart that we can keep up (as opposed to using the whiteboard and erasing it later). Score. Tomorrow, we'll do the "W" section, and we'll move on from there. :) I got this cool book over winter break that has the students build, piece by piece, a model of the human body. It's pretty sweet. When they're done, perhaps I'll scan a few of them for your viewing pleasure.

Also, I went over a letter today with the students. I sent home a notice to parents/guardians explaining my Grand Canyon policy. As of right now, I have 12 parents/guardians who want to come on the trip. Holy crap!! (As an aside, I may have to change the date, which I don't know if it's possible at this point. Bleh.) Anyway, now the students AND their parent/guardian have to sign off saying that they have read and agree to the conditions set. I offered my phone number and the opportunity to send a note to school for dissenting parents. Bases covered? Hopefully.

Finally, I just finished meeting with a parent about her son. Her son had failed 5th grade last year, but is extremely intelligent. (As many of my students, he's just lazy... I'm working on getting the laziness to dissapate.) Anwyay, we're brainstorming ideas on how to motivate this kid, who already knows the material rather thoroughly, to be a productive member of the class. I'd like to challenge him, but how??? Oy. I told the mother I'd like to meet with her AND her son whenever they can to develop a contract/plan about the student's work. She seemed to like the idea, and I think it'll help.

Wow, I'm getting there... Slowly, but surely. Now, time to go home and do MORE school stuff! :P

Weekend musings...

2007-01-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

So things have been pretty enjoyable & mellow this weekend. It's SO nice to have downtime, yet there's always schoolwork hanging over my head, so that kind of sucks.

Anyway, faithful readers, I thought I should update now since I haven't in nearly a week. First, the workshop on Thursday was AWESOME. It was about using literature circles and other activities to boost kids' reading comprehension and enjoyment. At first, I thought it was a lame conference, but I got really into it after an hour (and a cup of coffee). It inspired me to start a notebook that will serve as my "inspiration deposit-box." Any time I'm inspired by something school-/education-related, I shall put it in my notebook! Score.

Second, the spelling bees Friday went pretty well! The other coordinating teacher (also a newbie) and I panicked at first, because we couldn't find a way to hook up two microphones in the gym. However, a kindergarten teacher had a self-contained system (think a boom box with a microphone) that we were able to use. For having never coordinated a spelling bee before, I'd say it went pretty dang well. :)

Also, my friend sent me this article about Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" documentary. It basically says that some parents have objected the film's being shown in school. Ha. Two teachers at our very own school showed the film to their students (grades 6-8) last week. Boo ya. Anyway, interesting article. There's also a rebuttal, if you're interested.

For now, I go enjoy the long weekend!! (Thank you, Dr. King, Jr.!!) Have a good one! I'll be back in action on Tuesday for your reading pleasure.

Exhausted...

2007-01-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

... I was energized throughout most of the day, but I'm sooooo tired now. Here's why:

-got another new student (class total: 28 + 2 who come in during the afternoons for science/social studies)

-class was loud & obnoxious today; I raised my voice a LOT

-tried to start class newspaper project with my kids- they were sooooo loud

-end of the day was crazy hectic

And it's not over yet!! Still to do this afternoon/evening:

-call the Grand Canyon to work out some kinks with the trip
-make the program for Friday's spelling bee
-make sub plans for Thursday & Friday
-attend PTO meeting tonight at 6pm
-pick up ribbons, awards, and trophies for Friday's spelling bee
-make several phone calls to parents
-pay my (overdue) rent before the office closes
-get my AIMS (stupid standardized test stuff) prep stuff ready for next week
-fill out forms for students w/ IEPs
-crash out (& die????)

Thank GOD tomorrow is my last day teaching this week, or I think I'd flip out. Oh, also, I just took a survey b/c my 4th graders will be assessed next month by the NAEP (National Assessment of Educational Progress) people. It's a big thing, it sounds like, and I had to fill out a questionnaire about my teaching style, content, and student demographics. It was depressing; it asked stuff like, "How often do you group your students?" or, "How often do you differentiate your instruction for different learners?" I don't!! I suck. I just despise hearing about all the awesome stuff I *could* be doing, but a.) don't know HOW to, and b.) don't feel like I have the time and resources necessary to do so.

Bleh. Time to go run errands so I can be back here by 6. Le sigh.

Monday, Monday...

2007-01-08T16:49:00.000-07:00

So for once, I actually got up *early* this morning!! I got to school (10 minutes) early, but it made a huge difference! I had time to get crap done! What are the odds?

Anyway, in the morning, I fluctuated back and forth between wanting to be here or not. It usually turns out that the kids say or do something goofy that makes me laugh, and then I forget what I was so upset about. Today was no exception. During our daily 5-minute stretching (which usually goes surprisingly smoothly), I was reaching really high up with my hands outstretched. The children were doing the same. At one point, one student raised her hand. I called on her (since there is NO talking without permission during stretching), and she said, "Nice tattoo." D'oh!!! I was discovered! I got a tattoo just a few weeks ago (over winter break) with my little sister, and I was hoping for it to remain private. Oh, well. So I told them the whole grueling story (about how I screamed and cried like a baby while I was getting it done), and they were cracking up. That made the day a lot less tense and quite a bit more enjoyable.

Over the weekend, I saw "Freedom Writers," a phenomenal movie about a very true story. I'd heard about the project years ago, so I was psyched to see the film. Wow. Though I don't work with inner-city high schoolers, I do work in a low-income district with adolescents who also face very real problems. I think I have the potential to do something amazing in the world, I just don't know *how*.

After school, we had a grade-level meeting (which happens to be the 4 teachers from grades 4-6). Ughhhhhh... Our principal was there, and we have to do these progress monitoring things to make sure that our students who are low in reading & math are being monitored weekly and that interventions are put in place to help them. While it's a wonderful idea, I have NO clue how or when to do this all on top of all the other crap I have to do. :P Boo hiss!! Each monitoring takes about 3 minutes, but that's per student, and I have 28 students. Yucky. If I had, I dunno, someone to help me with this, that'd be cool. Le sigh.

Anyway, the days are continuing to fly by; it's really freaky. I'm now officially more than halfway done with the school year. I think the kids *may* be learning stuff here & there (as I do occasional pop-quizzes), but it's still hard to tell. We're all used to each other now, so I'm having fewer and fewer discipline problems in the room, though I still have 2 students who don't really *do* anything during the day. Pish.

Hokay, that's all for now. Time to go home and plan, then take a mini vacation for the night. Peace out, faithful readers!

T.G.I.F.!

2007-01-05T17:10:00.000-07:00

Since I want to get out of here, I'll make this brief.

Had a good day with the class overall... played an impromptu state identification game... was very enjoyable! Have the class set up with a new seating arrangement (a "U" inside of another "U"- it works very well). I just did 15 phone calls home to parents (honestly- it was 15- I just counted!)... I have 2 phone calls left to do to the Spanish-speaking parents... I'm usually a chicken, so I just write a note home for those parents. Is that bad of me? I just don't know how to say everything I want to say without a dictionary, and I get really flustered when talking to parents on the phone in Spanish for some reason.

Anyway, it was a nice, fast 3-day week back with the class. I'm delighted that next week will also be a 3-day week (essentially) for me! Muwahaha.

Oh, also- the sky outside is bright yellow. It's really quite freaky. In fact, one of the mothers with whom I spoke was weirded out by it as well. Hm. Hopefully it's not the apocolypse (sp?). For now, I leave you. Peace!

Another day gone by...

2007-01-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

So today, as most days, went remarkably fast! In the morning, I heard one student remark to another, "It's always so boring in here." The other replied, "Yeah, I know." :( My little ego shrunk a bit, but I still rolled with the punches. Math, admittedly, can be a bit dry, but I try to spruce it up when I can.

Reading today was actually really, really good. We got through all the material (!!), and the kids seemed interested in the story and the surrounding information. Cool.

After lunch, I had the kids read for a ridiculously long time (almost 40 minutes... I'm lazy sometimes). It was a nice, mellow time, and I was able to get a lot of stuff done in the classroom. Social studies went pretty well, though it was loud. The day was relatively uneventful, except for one student putting another in a headlock. Awesome.

At the end of the day, I discussed our Grand Canyon trip with the class... they're really excited about it! I also asked the other 4th grade teacher if she'd be interested in taking her class, and she replied, "Absolutely!" Whoops. She's crazy, and I often feel like I have to babysit her when doing anything outside of the curriculum. (I've done all the legwork for us to go to a conference, I'm planning out the entire field trip, I had to "save" her on our last field trip, etc.) Silly me. Oh, well; it'll be nice to have another class around, I suppose.

Finally, after school, I tutored for an hour. $20 is SO not worth it. I try to be goofy with the kids, but I think they're so sick of school at the end of the day that more schoolish stuff makes them lethargic. (Same with me, heh.)

Oh, and the homework thing... We already have "H-O-M-E" on the board!! After one day!! I had *21* students either not finish all their homework or not have their homework folders signed. Gross. Sucky, sucky. They may have homework tomorrow, after all. Punks.

Ok, that's it for now. Ciao!

Ahhh, 2007.

2007-01-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

Soooooo, I'm back in the saddle, so to speak. It was actually pretty good being back today. The kids were all rested, as was I, and it was a pretty quick day.

I made a stricter homework policy that the kids actually dig. I put "--------" on the board (in a spot where it will remain, along with their earned free time). Some of my kids who've been around the block knew that there were just enough letters for "homework." I eventually explained to them that I will check their homework AND their homework folders EACH and EVERY day. (I gave them ALL new homework folders and sign-off sheets today.) For every 5 people who either do not have their homework done OR don't have their homework signed, they'll earn a letter. If, by the end of the week, "homework" is on the board, they will have Friday homework. If it's not, they'll earn a party day. (They have 13 of the 20 necessary party days to earn a party of their choosing... we'll get there someday.)

I also got another student back today who I'd had at the beginning of the year. Her parents were not happy with our district at the start of the school year (I couldn't help but take it somewhat personally), but now she's back... who knows? I also got *another* new student today. My class total is now at 27, with 2 boys who come in during afternoons for science and social studies. Joy. It's actually not bad; I think I've got the hang of this 'til the end of the year.

In other news, I'm now officially off my anti-depressants!! I stopped taking them almost a week ago (by accident; I couldn't find them), and I still feel fine. Good deal, eh? It's just me vs. the world now. :) The personal life's good also, which helps immensely.

Heheh... also, I was trying to see how many days of professional leave I could get away with (since I view them, essentially, as paid days off). Check this out: I'm going to a conference next Thursday (paid by the district, thankyouverymuch), then running the spelling bee next Friday (so I need a sub that day- score!). Finally, 2 weeks after that, I'll be going to another workshop (all paid for as well). Muwahahha!! So check this out:

This week: 3 days
Next week: 3 days
Week after: 4 days (MLK day off)
Week after: 4 days

Oh, heck yeah.

Ooooh- other news! I'm planning an overnight camping trip to the Grand Canyon in May. How sweet is *that*? We did the camping thing last year when I student taught, and it was awesome. The only problem this time around: I can't find another teacher crazy enough to try it with me... Looks like I'm on my own to organize it! If I get the crapload of parent chaperones that I'm expecting, all should be cool. I'm also making the trip behavior-contingent; if the students can't be mature and respectful in class, no WAY they're going on the trip. So there.

Finally, I'm at home... (Internet was crappy at school tonight.) I watched "School of Rock" a bit ago, and I'm trying to think how to make learning more FUN for my kids. Sure, we laugh and I'm goofy, but I really want them to enjoy school... I just haven't quite figured out *how* yet. Hm.

That's all for now. Peace out!

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Winter break is here!!!!

2006-12-19T16:39:00.000-07:00

Since I want to get out of here (and come back around New Year's), I'm gonna keep this short.

First, I survived half the year so far! I'll be back in 2007, new policies (e.g., homework, behavior, etc.) in hand. Yay.

I got a gazillion presents and cards from staff & students. I feel loved!

During recess today, it snowed! Like, actual snow!! It was cool, but the kids freaked out about it.

All in all, not a bad two days before break. I'll be back in 2 weeks, which is nice. So, to all my faithful readers, this is the halfway point of the year. Happy 2007 to y'all, and I'll catch you then!

Woo hoo!! Tomorrow, then break!!

2006-12-18T15:51:00.000-07:00

So today flew by. I was in a relatively good mood all day, mostly because tomorrow's our last day 'til winter break! After lunch, I was downright chipper- it was astounding.

We had our "official" class spelling bee today, and the results were surprising. Though I teach a 4th/5th combo, 3 of my top 4 spellers were 4th graders! A lot of the kids got all shaky and nervous, and some of my best spellers froze up a few times. It's very interesting. Just when I think they don't care about anything, they show me that they do.

Oh, speaking of which, reading was pretty cool today, too. In the series we use (Mcgraw Hill), each new story is preceded by a related photograph or painting. The idea behind that is to get the students engaged in the topic. Today it worked very well! The story was about the carving Crazy Horse:

The intro photograph was of the Sphinx:

Apparently, the Sphinx and ancient Egypt fascinate the class, as they did me at that age. We had a looong discussion about Egypt, which I didn't mind, since the class was interested and learning things.

In the afternoon (after the spelling bee), we worked with my second grade teacher-buddy's class. We made gingerbread houses (out of grahm crackers "pasted" onto milk cartons with frosting), which actually was fun to do! The teacher had a friend in the class to help out, and the school nurse joined us for the festivities. With 4 adults in the room, the 50 students were manageable.

The end of the day came quickly, and the students weren't super crazy, despite the massive amounts of sugar around them. As a reward for a good day (with no real incidents!!), I gave them the gift of no homework.

Tomorrow morning (7:30am) we have a staff potluck. Judging by the list of foods to be brought, we should be enjoying a feast! :)

Oh, and as an aside... Did you, faithful readers, ever play "Hangman"? You know, where you guess letters until a stick figure "hangs" on the scaffolding? Well, the kids were playing it today during the spelling bee, and I later looked at their games. Nowadays, they draw the noose in full detail. I didn't remember ever doing that in my day. Just an interesting little thing.

Finally, this morning, it was actually cold enough here to get a teeny little snow flurry. The kids absolutely FLIPPED out. They ran to the window, screaming, "Snow!! Snow!!" A native Clevelander, I barely raised an eyebrow. I just became upset that they were all out of their seats, yelling. When they were all back in their seats, I said, "Ok, I know there's a bit of snow. Now, onto reading..." One student replied, "But we don't see snow here much at all! To us, this is a big deal!" I stopped, and realized that she was right. In the Great Lakes states, snow is an all-too-familiar ordeal; to the kids here, it's an oddity. I loosened up on them and let them appreciate the "snow" they saw.

Ho, ho, ho

2006-12-15T15:42:00.000-07:00

Today was not altogether a bad day. Crazy, yes, but not awful.

This morning, the 4th graders had their math test (which some 5th graders later graded and entered in my gradebook for me!!). We had library, where I got a lot of grading done, and then grammar, practice, and spelling tests. Not too bad, all in all. We then had our practice spelling bee, which went relatively well. We have our real one on Monday, which angered one girl a great deal. Her grandmother will be taking her to Mexico on Monday (don't ask me why), so she begged that we have the bee today. I apologized, but said that our bee is Monday. She was furious for the next hour. Awesome.

We did, however, have our practice bee today. It went quite well. We'll see who our "official" class winners are on Monday. The top three students will go to the school spelling bee the second week we're back from break in January. Score. As a spelling bee coordinator, I have my work cut out for me. The other teacher and I have to organize the entire fiasco. What's more, for some reason, the *county* spelling bee will be held at our tiny little school. That'll be interesting!

Anyway, after recess, I had the students use their books to fill in a map of the states of the Midwest. Ok- could I have made this any easier? ... We reviewed the states last week and this week, and today I let them use their books to fill in the maps. We then had an open-note test where I put the exact same map on the overhead that they had just filled out. The students numbered a paper from 1-36. I put numbers in each state, asking the students to name each state on the corresponding number (1-12) on their paper. Then I erased the numbers and put more numbers (13-24) on, asking for the capitals of each state. Finally, I erased the numbers once more and put another set (25-36) on, asking for the 2-letter abbreviation of each state. Piece of cake, right? Wrong!! Several students became frustrated, saying, "I don't know these! I don't know how to spell these!" Come ON, kids... We've spent a week reviewing them, AND I gave them the answers before the dang test that they could USE on the test!! I still have people who failed it. You have to TRY to fail that badly.

Ahmem. After that, we did a final review of the states, and we were off to our school's holiday sing-along. Eeesh. Imagine students grades K-8 (about 350 students total) packed into a gym, plus teachers, plus bleachers full of parents and families. Wow. The sing-along itself was fun, and I took mad pictures. (Too bad there are sickos out there, or I'd post the pictures on my blog!) After the sing-along, however, disaster occurred. A few "organizing" teachers opted to "organize" some holiday games for the kids. I use "organize" in quotes because there was no sense of order whatsoever. It was loud and unruly and just plain crazy. One by one, teachers took their classes outside instead. I joined them with 15 minutes left in the day.

Anyway, it wasn't an awful day. The worst part of today (and many days) was just dealing with the anger some of these kids have. They're just so full of negative feelings. The girl who gave me grief yesterday did the same today. Some students lately have been helping sweep the floor during downtime in the day. I told this girl that she couldn't sweep at the time because I had previously told another student he could. She became irate, and screamed, "I HATE THIS SCHOOL!" Wow. Displaced anger much? It's just something every day with her. Also, I had one student become extremely upset because he couldn't go outside until I dismissed him. (This is the same rule to which every other student is subjected.) He threw down a chair on another desk. Of course, I also have the girl who was furious about missing the spelling bee because she's going on an early vacation.

Why are these kids so angry??? I can see how their lives aren't easy (parents are on drugs or in jail, they're homeless, they don't have good role models, etc.), but the constant overreacting really is ridiculous. I'm trying to help them cope. I've already given two of my overreactors journals, which helps on occasion.

Three days 'til break!!

2006-12-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

Soooo, despite staying up waaaaaaaaay too late last night, I actually felt fine today. The days go so quickly, it's frightening. The morning was good overall, though my kids are not doing their homework very much. In January, I MUST have a stricter homework policy.

Also, I don't know if I'm too lenient with the kids. There are several students who are openly defiant to me on a near-daily basis, and I really just don't know how to handle it. It's extremely frustrating, and I can't figure out a way to just have them cooperate with me. It's not like I'm asking for the world- just for them to do some work and to not be cruel to other people. Hmmm... maybe that *is* asking the world of them.

So I have this nasty habit of going to the bathroom right before I have to pick up my class from lunch recess. The art teacher and I constantly vie for the (one) adult bathroom in our building, as this is both of our preferred times to go during the day. Somedays I get there before him, but he usually beats me there. Today, not only did he beat me (causing me to be a few minutes late picking up the class), but he had locked the door behind him (accidentally) after he left, which made me even later because I had to hunt down the key.

Aaaaaanyway, long story short, I was about 7 minutes late picking up my class from recess. Whoops. When I went outside to the spot where they line up, there were no students there! I went back inside to check my classroom, but there was no class! Who loses a class?! I was eventually informed by a recess aide that they were all seeing the principal. All of them. Turns out a lot of the students were throwing rocks, screaming, and just being little punks. Sigh.

I marched the kids back to the room and had them put their heads down for a few minutes. (Some teachers make their classes sit with their heads down for a full 30-45 minutes... I can't do that; it feels like such a waste of time.) After a few moments, I asked people to tell me what happened. I decided to practice school conduct with them, so I marched them back outside and lined them up against the wall where they normally line up. I told them that, for 20 minutes, there would be NO talking, and that they needed to sit where they were. Only 5 students (out of 23) were able to completely follow the directions. Sigh. However, it was cool to watch them entertain themselves. Without talking, about half the class managed to make an enormous dirt volcano, complete with red lava (a broken bracelet one of the students had). It was cool to see them deal with each other without words and without violence. Small steps, I guess.

Later, I had them back into two lines, and we picked up trash on the playground for 10 minutes. They were to do it in teams, and each team needed to stay in line. This proved a most difficult task for the students. They mostly worked well together, but there were some anger issues as well. They kids are so fascinating.

After the trash pick-up, we had our weekly class meeting. For once, it seemed to go relatively well. Upon the completion of the meeting, a parent had volunteered to come in to teach a lesson on Ireland and family heritage. Though the lesson was dry, I think it was nice for the students to have a guest speaker for a change. They were pretty well-behaved with the mother, and then it was time for them to pack up and go.

The last 5 minutes of the day seem to be the toughest. I asked one girl (who had a coat and two of her sweaters on the floor by her desk) to pick up her belongings. I asked calmly and politely, and her response was, "I don't want to." Our conversation went something like this:

"OK, well, just pick up your belongings, and then you can go home." (me)
"I don't want to!" (student)
"You don't have a choice. Just please pick up your things." (me)
"No!" (student)
"If you miss your bus, it'll be because you chose not to follow directions." (me)
"I'm not doing it!" (student)
"Well, you'll just wait here until it's picked up." (me)
"No!" (student)
"You know, the apology in the card you wrote me yesterday really means nothing to me right now, because you're doing the same thing you apologized for yesterday." (me)
"Fine, I'll pick up the stupid jacket. I didn't mean the card anyway. I wish you'd just left and gone to friggin' kindergarten." And she walked out the door.

I stood there, stunned. I wanted to cry, because I was both hurt and angry, but I didn't. I didn't chase after the student, either. I just really, really abhor situations like that where I don't know what to do. What the hell!? I just asked her to pick up some of her things on the floor. Ugh. She and four of my other students constantly overreact to simple requests or instructions. It's very annoying, and it really wears on me.

Ok, I must get home now. All in all, a very interesting day. Thank goodness tomorrow's Friday AND payday AND we only have a few more days 'til break!!

"Winter," my butt!

2006-12-13T16:47:00.000-07:00

So it was like 70 out today. I love this state!! It's mid-December now, and I don't need my winter coat yet. The kids come in some mornings, complaining, "It's sooo cold!" I just scoff and say, "You don't even know what cold is." So there.

Anyway, I was a bit of a dork today with my class. We are studying the Midwestern states at the moment. This is my chance to talk about Ohio (my motherland), and I get all geeked out about the darn state for some reason. Anyway, I have a buckeye necklace hanging by my desk- a necklace from my Ohio State days. Today, we were identifying Ohio, its capital, and its 2-letter abbreviation. When several of my students couldn't get the abbreviation, I thought back to my college days...

I remembered the chant I'd hear every game day: "O-H"... "I-O!!" It's a back-and-forth chant they did at the stadium and in the streets. One person (or group) would shout, "O-H!" Another person (or group) would respond, "I-O!" This would go back and forth several times (sometimes too long). Anyway, I did it with my class. I divided them in two, and then we did the "O-H!" "I-O!" chant several times. I also taught them how to do a wave, where each group says one letter (O, H, I, and O). It was a blast. They loved it, and I told them that my mother would be so proud. :) (She, too, was a Buckeye. It's also her birthday today, so that was sending some Ohio State/Arizona love her way!!)

Right before recess, I told the class that I'd decided to stay. They cheered for a while, and I was bombarded with hugs. It was a great feeling. The end of the day was actually good, and I am looking forward to tomorrow. (?!)

Also, I love that people I don't know read this blog. Really. It's nice getting comments from you random readers- feel free to come back and check in from time to time, and I'll do the same for you! :) It's nice to have support from perfect strangers. Thank you!

Okee, I'm out. Have a great night!

The verdict is in...

2006-12-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

I just talked to my principal, and the news is in:

I'm staying with my class!!! Ultimately, the principal asked me point blank, "What do you want?" I replied, "You're gonna kill me for the fickleness, but I'd like to stay with my class." She was very happy with the decision, and it turns out they found the perfect candidate for kindergarten. Seems like this is what needed to happen. :)

Right now, I'm elated, and I'm excited to tell my class. Maybe this drama will carry me to winter break, then I'll recup and start anew with them in January. I know it'll be a hard rest of the year, but I'm now officially here for it.

Bring it on, crazy job.

Oh, bipolar job!!

2006-12-12T15:43:00.000-07:00

So today, I decided to have another heart-to-heart with the students. I don't know what's up with me being so open in front of them, but I'm just trying to be honest with them and with myself. I told them about the situation with me leaving or not in January, and asked for them to vote. I created ballots that read:

"What do you think?

______ I would like [our teacher ]to stay with our class this year.

______ I would prefer to have a different teacher for our class in January.

______ It does not matter to me either way.

Comments: _______________________________________________..."

So the class voted, and I encouraged them to NOT put their names on the papers and to vote honestly. After the votes were in (I had a student collect them so I wouldn't see them), I tallied up the results in front of the class. Turns out they voted unanimously to have me stay. I was quite surprised. I got a bit choked up, and told them that I appreciated the sentiment.

However, after the voting, they were little hellions again. They just cannot stop talking. If I punish them for talking, they still do it. If I reward them for silence, they still talk. If I try to use peer pressure against the talkers, they still talk. It's most frustrating. I hear it's not just my class, though; a lot of the kids in this area seem to have little respect for anyone or anything. I don't quite know how to hand this right now.

I was at a dilemma this morning: I realized I like my class. Hm. Now, at the end of the day, I remember why I'm so disheartened with the situation: no matter how much I give or what I do, I don't feel like the class is getting anywhere. I end up tired and frustrated, and then have to come back and do it all over again. I guess I just hope the good moments become more and more. Also ,teh principal comes back tomorrow, and my fate should be decided soon.

Stay tuned for further updates.... for now, I go meet with the mother of one of my most troublesome students.

A good time...

2006-12-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

So this morning was rough; I didn't want to be here (as usual). However, the kids are always surprisingly mellow on Mondays for some reason. Today's math and reading went pretty well, and we went to lunch with no huge incidents.

After lunch, I pulled a little poetry activity out of the air. I had planned to watch a movie with the class today. We watched a 26-minute video called "The Snowman," which was a cute story put to music. (There was no dialogue, only music. At one point, a kid asked aloud, "Is this a silent movie?" Another student, known for his sarcasm, replied, "No...." It was pretty funny.) Anyway, we ended up writing poems that were drawn inside snowmen. The poems had this format:

Noun
Adjective, Adjective, Adjective
(Gerund) verb, (gerund) verb
Noun

They turned out pretty well! Some of my favorites:

(actual poem) (intended meaning)
icy Icy
sloshy Slushy
Flacky Flaky
enjoying Enjoying
sleding Sledding
snowboarding Snowboarding
snowballing Snowballing
Snow House

Another:

Winter
Beautiful and graceful
Falling
Snow

Another:

Stars
Shiny, Yellow, Decoritive [sic]
Shining
Celebrating
Sparkling
Shooting Stars

Another:

Snow
is a white
fluffy cloud
of softness.
When I feel
snow I feel
like I'm floating
on a cloud.
I like catching snowflakes
and snowball fighting.
playing while it is snowing
is alot [sic] of fun

So those were cool. We'll have to hang them up also. We had a decent Social Studies lesson on the Midwest (I'm representin' the homeland!!), and then they were out to recess.

After recess, we did vocab. This was the most fun I've had with the class, aside from doing "The Macarena." The word "exploring" came up, and as a class, we write the WORD, the DEFINITION, and draw a PICTURE of each word. (Those 3 words in caps are the headings they put on their papers.) I asked the students what we could draw to show someone exploring. One student replied, "We could draw a person in a Jeep, driving around and exploring." "Great idea!" I had said, and I proceeded to attempt to draw a Jeep. My "Jeep" looked like a box with wheels. The kids all burst out laughing, and I couldn't help but crack up as well. I actually laughed so hard I cried! It was a great time. Vocab after that was a blast. My drawings got progressively worse, and the word "amuse" came up. One student told me, "Your drawings today amuse me." I thanked him. Later, we had the word "pitied." For the picture, it was suggested that I draw the class pitying my drawings. I did so, labeling a few students. This, for some reason, was a riot. I also attempted to draw a boy in the class's face. He has a cut on his cheek, and I was drawing "applied" to show that he had applied ointment to his wound. The drawing was hilarious, though I didn't mean it to be.

After vocab, it was already the end of the day, and almost every single student left with a smile on his/her face. It made me wonder if I could maybe harness this kind of awesomeness on a regular basis. Only time will tell. Also, our principal is recruiting tomorrow at a large university. I'll find out sometime this week where I'll be a month from now. At the moment, it's up in the air. Peace.

Second-to-last Friday?

2006-12-08T16:42:00.000-07:00

So today was a bipolar day... We had our "Student of the Month" assembly this morning, which was nice. Afterwards, I did some announcements with the class, and then we had some extra recess. I played "Horse" with some of the kids, and we had a blast! During their library/computer time, I called students out in groups of 2 (I chose my most hyper students, in hopes of depleting some of their energy) to come and shoot some hoops with me. Very enjoyable time, especially since it was about 70 out today! (Oh, how I love Arizona!!)

After specials, we did jumping jacks. We counted first by ones (to ten), then by twos (to 20), then threes (to 30), fours (to 40), fives (to 50), sixes (to 60), and tens (to 100). This totalled 70 jumping jacks, which wore me out. We took a stretching and water break, and then went through the regimen again. The students who *did* all 140 jumping jacks were exhausted; the rest were still full of energy. Oh, well. We then had our spelling and vocab tests (during which the counselor and his assistant came in to observe two students), and off to math the 5th graders went. I worked with the 4th graders on some review, and then it was time for lunch. All in all, a good, energetic morning.

The afternoon started out well; they came in and read silently for a while. Afterwards, we started science. During science and social studies, I have two boys who come in from a self-contained classroom, since it is in their IEP (individualized education program) that they attend these classes. One boy (who was ousted from my room early in the year) is particularly annoying. He sets off the whole class. He was said by others to have been cursing, and I heard him ask another boy, "Are you horny?" I immediately kicked him out, sent him back to his class, and his teacher marched him over to the principal. I love my job.

The class voted to use their EFT (earned free time) outside today- hallelujah!! They had earned a whopping 24 minutes this week, giving them a total of 39 minutes outside. After we finished science and social studies (which took a while, but we were only a few minutes late getting outside), we all went out. I played basketball with 5 students, and did sprinting drills with 6 others. It was tiring, but very enjoyable. I also swang on the swings and ran around for a bit.

At our recent after school staff meeting, our principal had informed us that we may no longer have recess at the end of the day. She reasoned that this is when students are getting pulled out of school, and when end-of-the-day announcements are occasionally made. Fooey. So now I have to have recess from 2:30-2:45, giving us half an hour at the end of the day which is generally a waste of time.

Today's after-recess time was wretched. I showed the class how to make paper snowflakes, which should have been a simple, enjoyable process. HOWEVER, the class was so wound up from our time outside (I'd thought they'd have been tired!!) that they could NOT stop talking. I told them they could whisper, but that talking was just too loud. They still persisted. I had to stop after EVERY single direction, and got super frustrated. Finally, I asked, "How many of you in here are thinking of ever being a teacher?" A surprising number of hands shot up. I chose two responsible students to be the teacher for a while, and I assumed the role of a student.

...

Chaos- utter chaos- broke loose. The kids were screaming at each other to shut up. Others chanted, "We want ice cream! We want ice cream!" Others were running around the room. Two students, fed up with the situation, walked out the door. The two overwhelmed "teachers" asked me if they had the power to give lunch detentions. I said that, yes, as teachers, they had that authority. They were nice: only 5 students received lunch detentions. I felt bad, though; they two "teachers" could NOT keep the class quiet. I had to step in after ten minutes and resume my role as teacher. It was amazing how quickly and quietly they pulled their act together. I love it. :P

The day ended with a silent clean-up, and the students stayed even after the buses were called to finish cleaning up. I love it. What a day!

After school, two students came in to hang out for a bit. I recruited them to help me hang the snowflakes from the ceiling. The classroom actually looks pretty festive right now. Another teacher and I joked that we were using child labor to make the classroom pretty. One of the students remarked, "But this is fun child labor!!" I asked if I could quote her, she agreed, and there is her comment.

On that note, I take my leave. I MUST be back here this weekend; my desks are a mess. Also, planning needs to be done. Next week the decision will be made as to where I'll be in a month. Stay tuned!

75th entry!!

2006-12-07T16:48:00.000-07:00

So this writing officially marks my 75th entry in this crazy teacher blog of insanity. Feel free to throw a party in its honor.

Today: confronted teacher who let my secret out. She said it was the male sub (not she) who brought up the topic with little ears nearby. Anyway, who knows where I'll be in January? I don't even know!! My options:

1.) keep my present position until the end of the school year (may 2007)

2.) take over the kindergarten in january 2007, leaving my class to a different teacher

3.) pray that our principal finds teachers for BOTH my class and the kindergarten, and i'd sub and go to massage therapy school in january

So I'm very undecided at the moment.

Today was a heck of a day with the class... the morning was rough, and we had a BIG class meeting (almost an hour!) in the afternoon. I think it went relatively well, but they just never LISTEN! It's not just me they ignore, it's their peers as well. Seems no one's taught them how to be a good listener. I have to find a way to make them practice! Sigh.

After school: tutored a group of 4 students. I did an informal assessment of their reading ablities today, and WOW, are they low. I have one 4th grader, two 5th graders, and a 6th grader. We worked from a moderate (not high or low) 4th grade leveled reader, and they all struggled a great deal with it. I have my work cut out for me. How to be awesome at everything all at once (teaching, babysitting, putting out "little fires" all day, counseling, mothering, etc.)... It's enough to drive an already crazy person even more nuts!

Tomorrow should be nice... We have a Student of the Month assembly, spelling/vocab tests (I love Fridays!!), some fun winter activities (what??? me??!?), and EFT, among various academic stuff. Should be (relatively) enjoyable.

For now, I'm off to a police academy soirée! Peace out.

A mid-morning update

2006-12-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

So.... my secret's out. Darn it. I didn't want to tell my class about the kindergarten thing until the END of next week. This morning, half the class was talking about it as they came in. Oy. So I had to make an announcement that I *might* be taking over kindergarten after winter break.

The response? Most of the girls were very upset, one of the boys was thrilled (since he knows my replacement will be a male), the rest seemed indifferent. Heh. One girl even tried to skip her math class and specials today to "spend quality time" with me. Aww.

Anyway, it seems my secret is out because of my lovely teacher friend next door. Nevermind that she's semi-dating the sub who would take my position. I'm angry, because the kids who knew said she told them. That was not her place, and I'll have to have a word with her. Grrr... So that's the big news for now.

Thank GOD for early release days; the kids get out an hour early today!! Tonight's their band concert, which I'll be attending. I feel pretty sick at the moment, but I promised myself I wouldn't take another sick day until after the winter break (unless I'm absolutely dog-sick, of course). And here we are.

The end is in sight

2006-12-05T16:28:00.000-07:00

So it's looking more and more like I'll be doing this kindergarten gig in January. How strange that a spur-of-the-moment conversation has taken me in this direction! I'm swarming with ideas right now, and am excited about the change of scenery. We'll see...

This morning, as usual, I did NOT want to be here. However, after talking with the principal, I realized that this might be my second-to-last week with my class. I was then feeling bittersweet about leaving my kids halfway through the year. We have a male sub at the school who will most likely take my position (he's a certified teacher looking for a full-time job), which would be nice... Seems he's a former Marine, so the class could benefit from an assertive male, I think. I'll still visit (I'll only be across the building), and I'll recruit some of my girls to help out with the kindergarten... Oh, sigh.

Anyway, it's about time for me to get to my massage therapy class... (Another side job massaging teachers looks promising!!) Peace out, faithful readers!

Monday's over...

2006-12-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

... not a phenomenal day by any means, but I survived. By some fluke, I have somehow ended up talking to the principal about taking over the kindergarten class in January. What?! Umm... we'll see. I'm just at that point again where I don't like coming to work and have been getting progressively more annoyed (and thus meaner) with the students. I don't like that.

At the moment, I'm looking into starting a Massage Therapist program in April of next year. I'll still teach during the day, but do the classes in the evenings. We'll see how it turns out, but that's the plan for the time being.

Of note today: in science, we began talking about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs (even though technically alcohol is a drug!). It was very interesting, and I like having discussions about actual things that matter. This far this year, we've talked about:

1.) The Darfur situation
2.) The war in Iraq
3.) The *real* meanings of the words "gay" and "retarded"
4.) Evolution/intelligent design
5.) School shootings
6.) Drugs

I do like that part. The kindergarteners probably wouldn't be able to talk about any of the above. Hm.

Anyway, I'm back in the first year teachers' group, and I just got invited to dinner! I'm out, y'all. Peace.

So I can't stop updating!!

2006-11-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Briefly...

1.) The bad news: one of our custodians (my favorite!!) is being sexually harrassed by another custodian (who I thought was a decent person). She's talked to the principal and superintendant about it, but not much was done. She (the custodian) came into my room tonight and broke down into tears. She's thinking about quitting to be rid of the guy and the whole situation. I told her she did the right thing, and that she should make a police report as well. I hear she's not the first in this position, either. Oy.

2.) The interesting news: the superintendant took me out to lunch today. Only it wasn't just him & me; he invited a "friend" who is also from Ohio. This "friend," it turns out, is a DPS officer with whom the superintendant was trying to set me up. Ha. Seems *everyone* wants to hook me up with law enforcement officials. Also, turns out that almost the ENTIRE staff at school knew about this matchmaker attempt... except me!

3.) The good news: I'm in Phoenix tomorrow for a conference... suckers! I get to leave town AND get paid for it! Doesn't get much better than that! Peace out.

T.G.I.T.!!

2006-11-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

Yay!! So since I'm leaving town for a conference tomorrow (God bless professional leave!!), today is essentially a Friday for me. Also, in about 15 minutes, the superintendant will be taking me out to lunch for "dealing so well" with the situation on Monday. Ha. That means I get an extended, free lunch away from school! Awesomeness.

Also awesome is our staff "Secret Santa" program... I've already gotten: a scented candle, body lotion, and today... hot chocolate! I am one perky person.

Hmm... that's about it for now. Thought I'd update mid-day, so I can tutor in the afternoon and then go home. Peace!

Observation #1: complete

2006-11-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

So I felt quite sick this morning, and decided when I woke up that I'd come home after the observation. The only problem? The school had no more subs left!! :( Fortunately, the resource teacher took over for most of the day, and then a library aide will be helping for the last hour of the day.

I had all my kids there this morning for math (minus 2 or 3 who were absent), and the lesson actually went pretty well! The prinicpal gave me a very nice evaluation, and said, "You're a good teacher now, with no experience. You'll be a WONDERFUL teacher if you decide to stick with it, and I hope you do." That was nice.

I left school around 10:30 (after teaching for an hour in the morning, meeting with a parent, then with the principal, etc.), and when I got home, I felt mostly fine. Now, at 1:45pm, I'm feeling a little "off" again, which makes me feel less guilty for taking the day off! Maybe this is all in my head? Anyway, I MUST be there tomorrow because I won't be on Friday (due to a workshop I'll be attending). I'll probably have to get hopped-up on DayQuil before school. Hehe.

Finally, before I left school today, I informed the class that I was feeling sick and was leaving. They protested!! A lot of them begged me to stay! It was hilarious... they love me when I'm leaving, yet they abhor me when I'm there. Anyway, I'm gonna take some time to plan the rest of this week (and next??) out. Ciao.

Another day done.

2006-11-28T16:23:00.000-07:00

So today was neither awesome nor awful. A bit annoying, perhaps, but tolerable. I'm just sick of the kids being so mean to each other. They're also so loud... oy.

Anyway, tomorrow is my first *official* observation by the principal. I'm not particularly nervous, even though my plans have been slightly thwarted. You see, I had originally planned to have the observation done yesterday (Monday), but then rethought it when I realized it was the day after Thanksgiving break. Turns out my kids were calm and relaxed in the morning, and it would've been a pretty mellow observation. Ha. Well, tomorrow, the 5th grade teacher is out, so she's requested that I keep my whole class for math. Go figure. So instead of 12 fourth graders, I'll have about 28 crazy kids. Should be interesting...

Not too much else to complain about at this time; I need to jet to the dollar store and massage class, though, so I'm out. Peace.

An end-of-day visit from the sheriff...

2006-11-27T18:14:00.000-07:00

Oy. It was NOT easy coming back to school this morning, especially after such a wonderful Thanksgiving break! I didn't even plan out today's lessons until an hour before school started... whoops.

Anyway, I got yet *another* new student today, who seems to have some pretty bad learning disabilities. My class total is now up to 28, and I'm sure I'll hit 30 at some point. Joy. I still had 4 out today, though, so it was manageable. It'll be rough when the whole class shows up.

So let's fast-forward to the end of the day. There was a student (we'll call him "Carl") who would NOT do his work all afternoon. It was annoying, but there wasn't all that much I could do about it, aside from giving him consequences (detentions, call home, etc.). Bleh. Anyway, it got to the point where Carl was not only *not* doing his work, but was being defiant and disruptive as well. Eventually, after the whole class and I had had enough, I told Carl to go across the hall to the library to do his work. He refused and just sat there. I told him he was only making things more difficult for himself, but he still didn't budge. At the end of the day, the class was ready to go to recess. I told Carl and another student to go to the classroom next door, because that's where I send students who have not earned the day's recess. Again, Carl refused.

At this point, we were all out in the hallway. I stood in Carl's way, redirecting him toward the other classroom. He still refused. It got to the point where I blocked him by putting my hands out in front of me and standing in his way. Eventually, I was physically holding him back from going outside. He pushed against me several times, one time bumping me against the wall. There were several teachers and numerous students who saw the whole thing. Ultimately, I let him go and he took off running outside. I was so furious that I actually burst into tears right in front of my whole class. I haven't been that angry in... I can't remember how long.

All the teachers who witnessed the incident told me I had to call the police. Our principal was gone (oy), so I had to try and handle it myself. I went to the office once all the kids had gotten on their buses, and I told the secretary what had happened. She immediately radioed the buses to get Carl off his. During this time, I called the Sheriff's department to have an officer sent over. Carl came into the office, and I was still shaky from adrenaline.

The officer showed up minutes later, and I explained what had happened. The officer was verbally harsh with Carl, who was himself visibly shaking. Carl was commanded to call his parents to pick him up. He called his mother, who showed up about 20 minutes later. She was not happy, especially when she saw a deputy there because of her son. The father was then called, and the principal, and the superintendant. Soon, there were 6 adults in the principal's office for Carl. The father was PISSED (and was very scary at a muscular 6'3") because he had to leave work to come and deal with Carl. All of a sudden, I was asked if I was going to press charges. Oy. Press charges?? I didn't want to be in that position at all. I said that I was not comfortable making that decision, so it was left up to the principal and the parents. In the interim, Carl was handcuffed and put roughly in the back of the sheriff's car.

The verdict? That Carl will serve in-school suspension (for an as-of-yet-to-be-determined amount of time) and will join... the basketball team. The superintendant demanded this, saying that Carl needs productive ways to get out his agression, and that he needs to be part of a team. Interesting. I had to go outside with the deputy to get Carl and inform him that I would not be pressing charges and thus, he did not have to go to juvenile. Oy. This kid is 11 years old...

Anyway, an interesting end to a long day. I'd like to go home and relax, but I still have the rest of the week to plan out. How long until Winter Break, again???

Trying to get out of here on time...

2006-11-21T14:24:00.000-07:00

So my class is at Art right now (Thank God!!!), so I have a little tiny bit of downtime. I figured I'd write in this now, so that I may leave on time (at 4!) today and get my Thanksgiving weekend started! :)

Today has been OK so far, though none of the teachers (myself included) particularly want to be here. Considering the nature of today (the day before a fairly long holiday break), it hasn't been all that bad. Sure, the kids are a little hyper and restless, but it's been manageable so far.

For "writing" today, we made hand-shaped turkeys (Hey, I can be a dorky teacher once in a while, can't I?). On each "feather" (finger), the students listed one thing for which they're grateful. We then cut them out, glued them onto construction paper, and wrote more on the final product. Though they're not perfect, they look pretty good. I'll take a picture of some now, and add them to this post later.

All we have left is a brief brush-up of geography (The Midwest!! Represent!!), a quick clas meeting (yipee...), classroom clean-up (always a joy), and recess/earned free time. Wish me luck!! After that, syanora, school! Muwahaha...

(My fear is, though, that I am an ineffective, unmotivated, boring, lazy teacher. I hope I can improve, because I still don't know if I'm cut out for this. At least I know I'm here for the school year, though. That helps.) OK, peace out!

Turkey Day break can't come soon enough...

2006-11-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

So today started out well... almost too well. The morning was actually really good, and it was downhill from there. I'm starting to think it's them, not me, who are crazy after recess. How about that?

I'm just glad that I only have to teach tomorrow, and then we get the rest of the week off! :)

Not too much to report, aside from the end-of-the day fight between two of my boys. One called the other a "dirty, black Mexican," evidently. The insulted boy punched the other several times. I love it.

I came in to school today with NO plan for the afternoon, and somehow it all turned out relatively fine. We did a lot this afternoon (that I planned during P.E. and lunch), and academically, the kids had a decent day.

I'm starting to wonder if the kids are bored in school at times because my teaching style is boring. I don't want to be in front of the class all day, but I don't know how to differentiate my instruction, either!! As always, ideas are welcome and appreciated! I've tried group work a time or two, but we're not ready for that yet. I don't know if it's them or me, but group work failed miserably. Any other fun, creative ideas would be wonderful, though!

Ok, I'm out. Time to go home, relax, then just get through tomorrow! :)

Oh!! I have a website with photos... (This one is me with my funky socks & another teacher on Halloween!) Let's see if this works:

by picturesofmb

Yay!! The week's over!!

2006-11-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

Today was just an annoying day overall. The morning was OK, and then ... chaos. The Thanksgiving family luncheon was scheduled for half an hour before our regular lunchtimes this week, don't ask me why. However, about 20 minutes before our class was supposed to go, an office worker came in to let me know that we got pushed back to our normal lunch time, half an hour after what I'd told the kids ALL week. Blah!

The lunch wasn't all that bad; about half the kids (and 2 parents) ate in the class with us, so it was pretty chill. Two of the boys danced around the room (I had music on) with their pieces of turkey. Sadly, it was pretty amusing.

During their library time, I had to stay with them, since the librarian apparently can't handle 26 kids all at once. (Like I can?!) Anyway, I had not 1, not 2, but six volunteers who helped me grade papers! I got ALL my grading done from the past few weeks!! :) I just have to put it in the gradebook, and it's done! Awesomeness.

The rest of the day was blah, and I don't particularly feel like recapping it right now. More than anything, I'd like to have a beer after today, but that and the job-required antidepressants don't mesh well. We have 2 days next week (we'll get so much done then, right??), and then we have 5 days off for break!!! Yay!!

Anyway, that's all. I need to get out of here, and it's gotta be fast. Peace.

Almost Turkey Day break!!!

2006-11-16T17:13:00.000-07:00

So today was better than the past two days, fortunately. The morning actually went like clockwork; the kids were attentive and relatively calm. We got ALL of our morning work done (which rarely happpens), and we did reading buddies with another class. It all went very well, and I kept telling them all how proud I was of the whole class. It was a great morning.

As usual, the afternoon was a little rockier, but it wasn't terrible. This week, instead of reading aloud to the class after lunch recess, I have them read for 15-20 minutes. It's a beautiful time to watch: 20-some students all engaged in a book. A lot of them are very into my comic book collection (consisting mostly of old Archie & Garfield books mooched from my sister), but the point is they're reading and enjoying it. Awesome.

Interesting things today: 1.) During P.E., one of my kids (we'll call him "Jack") got in a fight with another (who had been ousted from our class and placed in a self-contained setting). Jack apprarently was pushed by the other, so pushed him back. This caused the other boy to punch Jack in the face. When I came to pick my class up from P.E., Jack was in the hallway, away from the rest of the class. When I approached him to see what was going on, he exclaimed, "I'm gonna go kill that kid!" and promptly took off running toward his assailant. I sprinted after Jack(down the hall, past the library), which shocked nearby students. I caught Jack before he got to the other kid and asked him what on earth was going on. He was seething, but I actually got him to be calm enough to rethink his decision. I asked him what he needed, and he responded that he needed to see the counselor. I was so proud!! He was rational enough to realize how to better react in the situation. We ended up going to the office, where other staff members took care of the problem. Later, Jack and I talked again about the incident, and I told him that it's not OK to push or threaten other students (so he served a lunch detention), but that I was proud of him for not making things worse.

2.) Three of my girls were in tears today from P.E. Turns out they're doing physical fitness tests, which require the girls to do fewer push-ups than the boys. The P.E. teacher allegedly told the girls that they were to do fewer because the boys are stronger. This upset the girls a great deal, who came running to my classroom to tell me about it. When we reconvened as a class, I explained that there are different standards for males and females, all the way up to the military. One boy raised his hand to comment, so I called on him. "My opinion," he said, "is that women are good for being teachers and cleaning the house and that's about it." I stared at him, a deer in headlights. What the heck do I say to that?! , I wondered. By some miracle, my mentor happened to pop her head into the classroom just then, and went off at the boy about discrimination and how much trouble he could get into by saying things like that. We explained that having opinions is OK, but that there's a time and a place to share them. Heh.

3.) I tutored two of my lower students yesterday (the daughters of the angry-letter mother from a while back). I drove them home (since their mom apparently can't afford the $1.50 in gas it'd cost to drive here and back), which was no small feat. My car is a MESS. That's no exaggeration, either; neither girl had much room to sit in the car. We were laughing about how the car is "my dirty little secret." It was quite a ride. Today, one of the girls left me a note on my desk: "Homework: clean out dirty secret!!?" I love it.

4.) In math today, we were studying a 12 by 12 multiplication table and noticing patterns. They were very observant in what they saw, and we ended up talking about prime numbers. At first, one of my boys was completely uninterested and frustrated that we had to learn about prime numbers. However, once we started doing more and more examples, he became one of the most involved participants in our discovery of them. It was really awesome. For once, it seemed like someone actually learned something in the classroom!

5.) At the end of the day for Social Studies, I got a video from the library about Thanksgiving. I had the children write down at least 5 facts about the movie, showing them how to take notes during the viewing. I was so impressed; many people filled a whole page with notes, and only 3 out of 25 students wrote just the required 5 facts (everyone else did more). Another beautiful thing!

Finally, tomorrow is our school's Thanksgiving family luncheon. It shall be a disaster, I think. First, our lunch got scooted up half an hour (for some unknown reason), which makes the plans for the afternoon unclear to me. Next, I was told that we had to eat with our class and their families in the classroom, but others said we don't. Very confusing. Quite a few parents should be here tomorrow, so that's always nice. We drafted thank-you letters to them, which we'll finish up tomorrow morning. Should be good. After that, the day will most likely end in chaos.

Okee, that's about all for now. That was a really long entry... it's nice to be excited about school, though! Until later, peace.

A first-year teacher loses her temper

2006-11-14T17:09:00.000-07:00

Good grief! I love my kids, I swear I do, but they just drive me crazy sometimes. Today was definitely one of those "sometimes."

So I try to mix it up a bit for the kids sometimes- playing games, doing pair work, etc. However, either I can't manage them right, or they just can't do it. I can't tell which. This morning, math was a bit boring (even for me), and we're just doing multiplication. I tried to spruce it up a bit with a game my mom bought me called Multiplication Math War. It's just a deck of cards with multiplication problems on them, and the kids go against each other to see who has the larger number. It worked well for a while, but they get so noisy so quickly. We had to stop the game (as usual) because, even after several warnings, they still would not just work quietly.

Reading was moderately successful, as they worked quietly on their own. After lunch, however, it all came tumbling down again. ALL we had to do before Art was S.S.R. (sustained silent reading) and a Social Studies activity. That's it! In fact, I was worried that we'd have extra time left over. Wrong! The reading went fine, but Social Studies drove me absolutely crazy!! We were learning a fun state song, which should've taken 15 minutes. We first reviewed the lyrics together, which has all 50 states and their capitals. We underlined each state as a class, then circled the capitals.

In an exercise that should've been quick, I asked students (at random) to tell me the capital of each state as I said the state's name. If you take a look at the lyrics, you'll see that each state's capital either directly precedes or follows the state. I was even pointing out each state on the overhead, while the students followed along on their own copies. HOWEVER, I'd call on people who would ask, "Where are we?" or "Which one are we on?" or "What are we doing?" Ugh!! It took sooooo long. I was extremely frustrated, especially since the answers were RIGHT THERE!!! I told them that we had to get through the review before we could go to Art. We ended up being almost 15 minutes late to Art because of so many students being off-task. One girl was even on the floor. Peer pressure ultimately got her back in her seat, but people were angry. Several girls even cried because of missing Art. I told them that I was upset, too, and that it's not fair for this to happen. I got stern and angry, and they knew it.

The rest of the day wasn't much better. I have one student who is totally ostracized from our class. Though I personally am fine with him, no one else in the class is. He also infuriates other teachers to the point where he gets kicked out of detention! Anyway, he made things difficult, and the whole class made it worse. During the last 10 minutes of the day, he got checked out early. The class actually cheered (while the poor kid was still there!), and I came down on them hard for it. I told them it is NOT OK to be that rude, disrespectful, and mean to another student EVER. I told them that every day I am annoyed at some point, but I don't complain (much) and I'm certainly not hurtful and mean toward people.

Anyway, I feel remarkably not like quitting, despite how annoyed I am at the moment. The librarian told me after school that she thinks it's good for the students to see that they're not going to wear me down. At least not this year. Heh.

Finally, I have to input grades now (an hour-long task) for progress reports. After that, it's Round 2 of massage classes! I NEED a massage now, after today!

I've got a case of "The Mondays"...

2006-11-13T17:29:00.000-07:00

So despite getting to school a full 15 minutes early (!!), the day wasn't all that good. The morning started out well, but I just have to figure out how to keep it going smoothly!

Again, I'm exhausted and upset that I have several hours' worth of work left to do at home. Sigh.

The day started out interestingly: I learned that one of my students was chopping wood with his father this weekend, and didn't hit the stump hard enough. The axe bounced back into the student's face, breaking his nose and requiring 13 stitches on his face. Ouch. He'll be out this week, I hear, so we'll have to do something for him. :(

Also, I set up my first formal evaluation by the principal! Two weeks from today, I'll be done with the dreaded first-year-teacher's-first observation!! Eek!

Finally, some photos for you:

1.) I wish it were

2.) My classroom, end-of-the-day:

3.) Me and our district's *beautiful* (read: ghetto) Ford Focus:

Ta da!! OK, now I'm going home to do even more school stuff! :P

TGIF... again

2006-11-10T16:55:00.000-07:00

Friday!! Yay!! On my way out the door, so here's a brief rundown:

-No real drama today, just lots of chatty kids

-Had our 2nd student-of-the-month assembly, where we celebrated not only the s-o-m, but also our students on the Principal's List, honor roll, and with perfect attendance. Yay! I had a TON of kids on mine, and promised the school that I'm not grading too easily, but that I really do have a class with a lot of hard workers.

-One student has head lice. Yummy. The rest of the class had to get checked in the afternoon, which took a big chunk out of my afternoon activities. Oh, well.

-Spelling bee workshop (yesterday) was a-w-e-s-o-m-e. I'm looking forward to our bee!

That's all for now; I actually have places to go and people to see! (I'll be back in here this weekend, though, because a teacher's work is never done!) Peace.

Briefly...

2006-11-08T16:47:00.001-07:00

... showed up an hour late to our in-service today... whoops!

Superintendant is trying to hook me up with another police officer. Go figure.

In-service wasted a day of my life that I'll never get back... grr...

We did talk about bullying, though, which was immensely depressing. What to do?

Time to write up sub plans for tomorrow (so I can attend a spelling bee workshop), then get a part for my car, then go to massage class, then sleep! ! Ciao.

Oh, Tuesday...

2006-11-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

So today was an interesting day. The morning started out well; the math lesson went well, and then we reconvened as a whole class. We did a quick kinesthetic (sp?) grammar review that was fun, and then did stretching and The Macarena before music class. The kids were actually good in music!! That almost never happens. During reading, I had several boys who just wouldn't do their work... most annoying. They were disruptive, so I put the whole class to work, silently and on their own. It worked well.

The afternoon started well, with reading aloud and then art class. After art, however, the day was a cruel rug ripped out from underneath me. All we had to get through was 10 words of vocab (where we define and draw a picture of each word) and social studies (where we were to vote on the actual issues on Arizona's midterm election ballot). That's it.

Two boys in the back would NOT stop talking, though, so I walked back to let them know that they won't be able to sit next to each other anymore. That's where the excrement hit the fan, so to speak... one boy (who is one of my "runners") decided that I was being completely unfair. I told him I wouldn't argue with him, and I walked away to continue our vocab work. When I got to the front of the classroom, I turned around, and there was the boy, seething. In slow motion, I saw him pick up his chair and hurl it across the room. Thank goodness one boy was just coming back from the bathroom (and not in his seat), or else he would've gotten hit in the head. The chair knocked over another chair on top of a desk, causing two chairs to nearly injure several students. I told the chair-thrower that he had to leave immediately, and he just stood there. The rest of the class watched, mouths open, to see what would happen next. I told him he could leave or I could escort him out. He still diddn't budge. I walked over to him and took his arm to lead him out of the room. He became irate and fought against me. He punched me in the arm and hit me, and started yelling. Luckily, my door was open so that the staff members in the library across the hall could hear the commotion. One ran to get the principal, and at that point the student fled the classroom. I tried to continue the lesson, but the class seemed very shaken up.

We spent the end of the day discussing what had happened, and what we can do about controlling anger. During the last 10 minutes before school let out, the principal came to debrief our class on the outcome of the incident. The student has been removed from my classroom for at least a month (probably 2) and is on in-school suspension. I told the students it's their right to feel safe in the classroom, and that no one can mess with that. We actually had a good talk.

When the kids were gone for the day, I had to go to the office to fill out an incident/injury report, even though I'm physically fine. What a day! For now, I go vote and then on a date (I have a pseudo-life!!).

What?? A good Monday??

2006-11-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, so today wasn't bad at all! Since I didn't come in at all this weekend (oops), I came in an hour early this morning. It was actually nice, and I may do it again soon! I got a lot accomplished, though not everything. Such is teaching.

New 4th grade student showed up today, bringing my class total back up to 27. She's a delight, though; she's a fast learner, and is sweet so far. A ton of the girls took an immediate liking to her; I give it about a week before massive girl drama starts up again. :P

The morning was actually really good... We got a lot done, and the kids were mostly respectful and quiet. They were relatively mellow, and I didn't get frustrated. The afternoon (as usual) was a bit rougher, but it wasn't as bad as usual. I know this all won't last, but it was a nice way to start the week. It also helps that I only have to teach 2 more days this week! (We have an in-service all day Wednesday- no kids- and I'm going to a spelling bee workshop on Thursday.... muwahaha!)

In other news, there was an announcement today that there will be no more salad bar through December. Since I'm lazy enough to buy school lunches about every other day, this was earth-shattering news!! No good!! I don't want to eat the yucky stuff they have sometimes, so I may have to start packing lunch more often. Oh, life is rough. Anyway, I'm off to nap and prepare for tomorrow (and maybe even get a run in!!)... Peace.

Wooo hooO!! Freedom!!

2006-11-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

Yay for Fridays!! So I mostly like my class, but they're just so... loud! It gets super annoying, and I'm super tired of it. Yucky. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm becoming this nasty, vile person, and I don't want to be. Unforunately, my classroom management style is still being developed, even this late in the game. I wonder if I'll ever have a grasp on it.

Anyway, yesterday was the day from heck. It was awful, and I mean awful. Not one, but THREE boys threw desks in the classroom yesterday, and the principal's punishment was minimal. There is just so much anger these kids carry around, and we're working on dealing with them better, but it's just so dang difficult!

Today ended on a good note, though. We had our "fall party" during the last 30 minutes of the day, after cleaning the classroom up. Actually, considering everything, the room looks pretty decent right now. During our earned free time earlier, three students actually helped me grade tests!! Beautiful!! :)

Anyway, I'm gonna come back here tomorrow to get a LOT of stuff done... Fun, fun. For now, I'll wrap up in the classroom, and try to ENJOY Friday! (Oh, and it's WARM here!! It's probably almost 80 out and sunny!! In November!! I love Arizona.)

Mmmm, Wednesdays

2006-11-01T16:11:00.000-07:00

So today wasn't as bad as I had anticipated (being the day after Halloween and all). I had 5 kids out again, which makes my class nice and manageable!

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm doing the bare minimum of teaching. Sure, I care and all, but I feel like I'm slacking. When I get home, I just don't feel like doing more school stuff! I do my planning the Sunday before the next week, and I haven't put ANY grades into my gradebook this quarter yet. I'm not sure if it's laziness or feeling overwhelemed, but I'm letting a lot fall by the wayside right now.

Also, I think I'm starting to get sick. I felt it this morning when I got to school, though I feel OK now. This might be the beginning of the infamous Downfall of the First Year Teacher's Immune System. We'll see!

It also feels like I'm becoming more impatient and annoyed with the students. I don't mean to be all nasty towards them, but we've been in school 12 weeks now- why are we still working on our lines in the hallway and not talking in the classroom? I honestly wonder if they've learned much this year at all. Hmm... I've also been thinking that I should spend the good part of Saturday here, to make sure I get everything caught up.

For now, I'm somehow apathetic. We'll see how the week ends up.

Oh! Before I forget, I should talk briefly about Halloween, small-town style. I had a friend over for dinner, and we passed out candy to the trick-or-treaters. All the kids who came to my house showed up in their parents' cars! How weird! My friend told me that nowadays, parents don't walk door-to-door with their kids anymore; they all drive the kids from house to house. It didn't seem to help much, but I did see two of my students and siblings of a few more. It was exciting having trick-or-treaters come to my place!!

I heart Halloween!!

2006-10-31T17:26:00.000-07:00

So today was a fun day!! We got a lot of work done (though I used a lot of bribery to get it done... I promised the kids I'd pass out snacks and get us out to recess when all our work was finished), and we had a good time! Again, I had a lot of kids (5) out today, so that helped.

At the end of the day, we cleaned the room. It was acutally neat when we finished! After that, we did "The Macarena" again, which was awesome. We did sort of a conga line around the room, and all but 2 students joined us. Finally, we all headed out to recess, where I learned to play Around the World, basketball style. At one point, I actually made 4 baskets in a row!! (The kids were impressed.)

My only fear right now: that I'm too buddy-buddy with the students. I hope that I can still be an instiller of education and the desire for knowledge, while maintaining control of the classroom. We'll see how tomorrow goes (mmmm, 27 sugared-up kids!!)...

Thank you to those of you who are commenting; it makes me feel good! It's nice to know that there are supportive, caring people out there who have something to add to my experience!

On a final note, I feel like I'll now be able to get through the school year, no problem. What a feeling!! Now, to get home, so I can pass out candy to my students (I encouraged them to stop by)... we'll see if that's a good idea or not! Peace.

Quick day!

2006-10-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

So as I get (ever so slightly) older, time goes by faster and faster. Even this Monday, which wasn't wonderful by any stretch, went extremely quickly. I had seven (count 'em, 7!!) students out today! It was soooo nice working with a smaller class all day. If I had 15-18 students, I would be golden.

I'm still having issues trying to find a balance in the classroom. I want the students to be able to express themselves and feel comfortable in the room, but I also need to make sure that we're learning things! It's difficult.

Today in science, we started a unit on classifying living things. The textbook brought up extinction and evolution... I wasn't worried about it, but when we were talking about different stages of the Earth, one girl said, "I don't believe that the Earth formed like that. I believe that God created it." Oy, I thought, here we go... So I asked her, "Why couldn't God have created the Earth AND it changed over time?" She thought for a moment and replied, "I guess I don't know."

Later, we were talking about the extinction of dinosaurs, and developing ideas about how they all died. The same girl as above said that she thought "the great flood" (from Noah's ark) took the lives of the dinosaurs. I tried explaining that humans and dinosaurs didn't exist at the same time, which was difficult for her to grasp. I told her that human and dinosaur bones are aged much differently, and were found in different layers of the earth. Hmm... at least they're interested!!

The students also freaked out when they found out that modern human embryos have tails and gills! I bet I'll get a few angry phone calls tomorrow, but I at least have the science book and Arizona state standards to back me up. So there. : P

Finally, today was interesting. The morning was wonderful, since we didn't switch for math and I had the whole class to myself. I had them working dilligently for a while, but after P.E., one of my acter-uppers decided to throw a fit. He kicked a chair at another student numerous times, and tried to break his desk. Awesome. I sent a student to get another adult to come in and remove him, which took quite some time. Yay. Also, another student told me her father is now in jail (for a rather disturbing crime), and that's why she wasn't in school most of last week. Ugh. I know it's not out of the ordinary, but I have kids who are homeless (living in tents), kids whose parents are in jail, kids whose parents do drugs, and so on. If the human race doesn't kill itself in a few decades, I'll truly be amazed.

That's all for now. Just another Monday, all in all.

What a ridiculous week!!

2006-10-27T17:54:00.000-06:00

So T.G.I.F. first and foremost!!

This was just an utterly bad week, schoolwide. Perhaps it's the changing weather (the "fall" season seems to be approaching), perhaps it's because this was our first 5-day week in a while... who knows?

Anyway, aside from the kids being monsters, things are going a bit better. We're getting somewhat of a routine down with the day, and I see that the students do actually like rituals, routines, and rules. I need to be more consistent, though; I feel like I've been all over the place with them lately. It's just rough having 27 different problems to deal with all day, every day. Such is teaching!

Due to last week's discussion of Darfur, the class decided they wanted to write a letter to President Bush. They each wrote individual letters, which they'll type up next week in computer class. Today, we drafted a letter from the entire class. It reads:

"Dear Mr. President:

"Hello! We are a 4th and 5th grade class in ... Arizona.* Our class is in ... Elementary School.* We are aged 9 to 12 years, and we are in Ms. ....'s class.*

"We as a class have mixed feelings about your presidency and what you're doing. Even though it seems like it is difficult to be President, we have some questions for you. Why are we in Iraq, and not helping the people in Darfur, Sudan? Why are we disturbing other countries? Why did you send our troops to Iraq in the first place? How do you feel about your ratings going down?

"We're worried about several issues. First, we're concerned that thousands of our own troops have died in Iraq. We are worried because people we love are over there, including brothers, sisters, and other family members. If you were over there, would you die for our country? Also, how does it feel to be President?

"Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. We hope you think over the issues we have mentioned. We would greatly appreciate it if you wrote back to us.

"Your citizens,

..." *I did not include the specific names above to maintain the anonymity of the blog.

Anyway, the letter needs a bit of work, but it's a start. At least the students are concerned about the world in which we live, and are motivated to change! In fact, looking back on it, my greatest time of environmental activism was when I was in the 5th grade. I wrote a petition to Al Gore about what should be done to help the environment, and I had the whole school sign the document. I also organized playground litter pick-ups. Oh, youth and its idealism!

Ok, time to plan a little bit, then relax!!! Tomorrow, I'm going out of town to see 5 of my boys play in a college football stadium! Very cool. For now, peace.

A Teacher's First Year

Looking back...

They're gone...

Photos

Our last (full) day...

Random thoughts...

Our last Friday... ever!!!

Sigh!!!

It's always something...

Just a few days left...

a success??

We're gettin' there...

Man, I feel like a woman!

Summer has (almost) sprung!

A bittersweet evening...

I may actually *survive* the year?!

This should be the *easy* part of the year!

T.G.I... T?

Two Forty!

Sweet, sweet May!!!

Just pluggin' along...

The Last Friday in April!! :)

Being positive

3-day week for me!!

A "Sick" Day

27 more days left!!

The end is in sight

my apologies for the delay.

...and I'm done.

Silence.

untitled

2 months to go!!

My fickle friends

All right, Tuesday...

Really?

Conferences: Take 2

All I really want...

Post-Spring-Break Stress Disorder!

A new approach

yay, march!!!

"Hump day," indeed!

tuesday!!

Triage

tell me on a sunday, please...

ah, yes...

sick again

hot & cold

Time to go home...

Happy V-Day!! :)

PTO secretary extraordinaire...

Reaaaaally quick...

A much-needed break!!!

Le sigh.

99 Red Balloons...

Me vs. February

3-day week

yay for Friday!!!

Daaaaaaaaang, Tuesday!

'Tis Friday ... [dies]

Holy decent day, Batman!

She works hard for the "money"

Not a bad day!

Weekend musings...

Exhausted...

Monday, Monday...

T.G.I.F.!

Another day gone by...

Ahhh, 2007.

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Winter break is here!!!!

Woo hoo!! Tomorrow, then break!!

Ho, ho, ho

Three days 'til break!!

"Winter," my butt!

The verdict is in...

Oh, bipolar job!!

A good time...

Second-to-last Friday?

75th entry!!

A mid-morning update

The end is in sight

I may actually survive the year?!

This should be the easy part of the year!